that men leave their wives? is it that we won't suck your cocks any longer? are we too Bitchy?

I lost my wonderful husband years ago and he never told me why he left.

but he left you because your ass got so big it needed it's own zip code. lol

Didn't he tell you this when you were trying to take everything he owned? and you aren't really calling GaGambler "wonderful" are you?

Don't worry 17 years and hundreds if not thousands of hookers later, your ex is doing just fine and won't be repeating the same mistake again that he made by marrying your fat ass.

I was only pretending to like it.

I was perfectly happy (NOT) to remain with her and do my hobby thing on the side; but she decided to cash her chips and take off.

I suspect that is the norm, but I don't have any stats to back that up.

if she was born one -  it was your own choice, if you turned her into one, take a close look at the mirror to see source of your problems.

If my ex is a total and complete self centered psychopathic asshole who lies about everything from his shoe size to what time it is, it is my fault for getting involved with him.

Most Women-After a few years-Just become a total pain in the Ass ! It is their nature ! If it started out as a good relationship,  after about 7 to 10 years-they begin to develop opinions on things that were never previously in evidence-they develop different or lack of interest in things they used to find interesting, etc...However-there is absolutely no guarantee that if you divorce her and hook up with someone else that it will actually be an improvement-so-the best solutions are to probably not get married in the first place-(unlikely that will happen) or - unless it is just totally intolerable-hang in there-hobby quietly-do other things you enjoy-get a job that involves travel-hunt more-fish more-and keep all of your stuff as opposed to splitting in down the middle and starting over !  I have a lot of friends and acquanitences who have been married and divorced more than once-each time dividing their stuff by 2 - Do the math-pretty soon you are old, have lived a fairly miserable life-and you have no "Stuff"! "Money and Stuff" are important!  So-if you have an opportunity to provide advice to a young man-tell him how it works-he won't listen-but he will remember it 25 years later !!

AMEN,
My favorite line has become  "There was a time when you liked it when I did that"

A man is with a woman based on how she make him feel, which had better be pretty damn good, overall!

I know, I know! Now you're going to ask me what made him unhappy!  Well, how in the hell should I know? It could be he was just an all around unhappy person, and always had been, but expected you to change all that for him. Not uncommon for both men and women in relationships. But, since he left without explaining why he was unhappy, it was probably about something he felt too embarrassed or guilty about bring up to you. Typical issues, that are hard for men to confront their wives about, are weight, sex, overall appearance, or neglecting their stated needs. He may not have wanted to be viewed, by you, as being shallow, as a sexual pervert, or needy. Hope that was helpful!

That would be a reason for men to start hobbying...

As for me, I don't need any reason to hobby other than having a pitched tent that needs immediate attention.

If the girlfriend can't take care of it immediately,  then I turn to see if the boyfriend is in the mood... lmao j/k


Closest available provider near me happens to be a very gorgeous babe so I'm in luck tonight.

The answer will be different for each person. My relationship grew more and more cold - we were good friends but no longer lovers. When I made an effort things got better. When I took my eye off the ball things went back to status quo. At some point you realize things could be so much more - and maybe that can only happen with someone else. It takes two to fix a marriage and I was tired of trying alone.

because after 17 years of divorce, I am as happy as a pig in shit. I love my fucking life just the way it is.

They do say that "marriage is not for everybody" I think  whoever "they" are, must have been thinking about me when they said it.

was as big as gambler_wife's ass.  world's greatest armchair quarterback.  always telling everyone what they're doing wrong, with no help or tact.  Snarls Barkley.  Then she left when she couldn't handle our two little kids.  It's so much quieter now and gets easier every day...

and the girls here, well, you know...

First night back from a 45 day fly away, dead f-ing tired, hit the bed and pass out only to have a loud mouth jumping up and down on the bed two hours later screaming that I slept long enough and she wanted to go out after having to sit at home while we were gone.

At that moment four things became appartent; 1) I really wanted her to bounce off the bed and break her neck 2) Dealing with wacked out dirtbags who have long black beards is better than being married to a bitch like that 3) I will doubt I ever get married again and 4) hooray for chicks who sell it, pretend to actually like you and then go away until you call again.

No single answer, but I will hit the cliches for you:

Early divorces:

Being married is not like dating - you discover who he/she really is, and do not like it.

Never really liked the person that much, but did not notice it when you were infatuated.

Miss the thrill of a new infatuation, and want to go search it out.

Not really prepared to work through problems with him/her.

I met someone new and am infatuated.

Later divorces:

One or both are no longer able or willing to make the effort to be pleasant to the other, i.e. someone is sick of being treated like shit.

I worked through the problems and put up with your shit, but I never really liked it, and now I want to try to be happy.

We no longer have anything in common.

All the unresolved fights have piled up until they are all we share.

I still like sex and you do not.

At this stage in our lives, we no longer want to do the same thing.

When I think of going home to you for one more night it makes me want to cry.

I met someone new and am infatuated. (It can happen any time).


Just some possibilities - you decide which ones fit. The better question might be - what does it take to stay married. I think that is:

- An desire to stay married (I think a desire to not get divorced can almost be sufficient).
- Affection for your spouse.
- Enjoying spending time together.
- Decent relationship skills in terms of expressing affection, resolving conflict, sharing.

A good marriage is work, after all.

zig

Got married @ 25 got divorced @33 why?

Because got sick of eating the same dish, sick of nagging, control freak, tried pulling me away fro
My parents big no no!!!! Wife will come and go but I only have one Mom and Dad. The hobbying cured my needs with all the fucking flavors I wanted


Eom

......in the middle of indian country after he just read the letter from home saying she was taking the their kids and running off with the manager from a f-ing Dairy Queen ? Try is sometime and then come back with more of that garbage.

but thanks.  My sentiments exactly.

The grass always looks greener over there..

Let's be honest. We ALL want a touch of variety and we all need to communicate better..( on either side, how do you say to a spouse, SO, " hey, that looks tasty, can I sample it? And not hurt thier feelings?) Thow in some insecurity on both sides becasue there is always someone who is more fun, prettier, makes more money, etc,etc.. We stop communicating and then just fo fun add a dash of control to compensate for all those insecurities..... and a marriage has FAILED!

The only way that grass gets greener is because there is more Sh@@ to feed it... but, When you are the side of the fence with the weeds. That green grass It sure is pretty...........................

the women i've met on "this side" are certainly fine

That's what it is in my case.  I'm divorcing now and the reason is simple; once we had kids a dozen years ago I got thrown off the bus.  Not under it.  OFF.  I became nothing but a paycheck and a handyman and all she cared about were our kids.  In spite of my pleas.

That lead to a messy house, no sex, no dinner, no income (from her), etc.  Fuck that.  I'm gone.  Our 20 year anniversary was this month.  What a waste...not the 20 years...the divorce.  It could have been salvaged SO easily if she'd woken up and realized what she was doing.

Sucks.

and its not easy to spot a person with behavioral disorders untill you know something about them.

Everything else is a symptom of that one word.

Wives almost always feel they have somehow settled and that their husbands are somehow much luckier than them.

This underlying attitude then leads to all manner of neglect and psychological abuse.

Men have needs -- both sexual and psychological -- that their wives need to meet. But too often the wives feel they are too good, too important or their husbands too undeserving. They don't prioritize their husbands, etc.

But it all comes down to a sense of entitlement.

Though in many respects I am not a big fan of Dr. Laura, I heartily recommend her Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands. Unless a woman gets herself a psychopath (most likely by being a gold digger), if she follows that book her husband is highly unlikely to ever cheat or leave.

There are parts of that book with which I DO disagree, including certain attitudes about men that I find offensive. But the behaviors she encourages women to cultivate will definitely work. Most wives, of course, would find their sense of entitlement threatened and throw down the book. You can lead a horse to water ...

they become too good to work.  fuck 'em all! (the long and the short and the tall)  i'm a hooker kind of guy now!

It is sooooo unfair. What, with husbands never getting older, or balder, or fatter, or controlling, or neglectful, or non-communicative, or dis-engaged, or entitled (or…ehem)…unfaithful in their marriages.  

Jesus e’fin crap John…

ALL OF US have needs – men and women, both sexual and psychological in the context of interpersonal relationships.  

And, Dr (HACK-gag-COUGH) Laura aside, our partners are not responsible for meeting our personal needs. To the greater degree, we all have a personal responsibility to meet our own needs ourselves. (that applies to men as well…BTW).

I would agree that mutual support, and respect, and understanding, and patience, and tolerance in ANY relationship are critical to the MUTUAL meaning, and value of that relationship. Otherwise, why bother, eh?

Wives with a sense of entitlement are not the cause of the demise of marriages. Show me any relationship, marriage or otherwise, with only one person solely guilty for its failure. The reasons for a failed marriage are as unique as every marriage.  

You might think about dragging yourself to some water….

but my version didn't site any kind of fancy book learnin' and was actually just a long string of profanity...but yeah, entitlement works.

Women have the upper hand to begin with, because men generally ask for less of them than they ask of us. Men like to keep it simple - stay looking hot, be ready to fuck often, at least occasionally cook or clean something, and don't expect us to have all the answers for fixing your emotional baggage. Expect us to care, but don't expect us to care more than you do.  Women want; materially, emotionally, physically - everything you got - everything their friends have - everything their mother had - everything the neighbors have - everything their co-workers have - plus anything else that looks bigger, better and shinier than what you're currently offering.

I see this rediculous inequity in every married couple I know - the men are so fucking overmatched and they run around frantically like little squirrels on meth trying to achieve the lofty demands of their spouses in the hopes that maybe she'll think about giving back a lil' something that they want in return. And when they finally get too tired to keep it up, crushed and suffocated by the ever growing burdens of her demands, they do the only thing they can do - look elsewhere for something simpler....something that lookis simpler...in the beginning....repeat process....

I'll just stay single, much easier to walk away when she reaches the point of thinking she's entitled to more than she gives in return, and eventually, they always do. If she can't, or is unwilling to,  match what I bring to the table, I will pull the fucking chair out from under her. We either walk side by side, stride for stride together, or I walk in the opposite direction.

I really don't get why so many guys have this self deprocating attitude - this inferiority complex when it comes to women. I understand wanting someone badly, but how does a woman's lack of substance go unnoticed and unchecked simply because she has nice tits? I know it's a running joke that men think with their dicks, but come on, really? My dick definitely has a say in all matters concerning the femle gender, but he ain't the don, he's only the consigliere.

The question was not about the demise of marriage generally, nor did it pertain to why women leave. Rather, it was very narrow. Taking into account the implicit conditions, the question was why do otherwise good men, men who three seconds after they have left have an even "better" woman in the offing, leave their wives?

That's a narrow question and required a narrow answer.

Opening it wider -- why do women file twice as many divorces as men? Why do men cheat? Why are the most desirable men on a marriage/baby strike? Why do so many women report dissatisfaction in marriage? All of these are good questions, and in answer to some of those I would hit on many points you bring up. But those weren't asked.

Yes, we are all responsible for our own needs AND our own behaviors. Nothing a woman does can be blamed on a man, and nothing a man does can be blamed on a woman. (And hence we cannot blame "society" or any other entity but ourselves.)

However, we are social creatures and despite the boosting of lesbian ideals by marxist derived feminist scholars; in nature what is required to keep the species from perishing is men and women mating. We are designed with mutual strengths and needs such that men and women complement and complete each other; and outside of reproduction, the reason why such relationships exist is because each sex is suited to meet a certain subset of the other's social needs.

Those needs that are required to be met by intimate partners are not really that profound. They require consideration, respect, prioritization, etc. Failure to meet them -- on either side -- WILL lead to dissatisfaction.

A classic woman's mode of achieving better partners is serial monogamy -- thus no fault divorce and the dramatic difference in the rate of divorce filings. If we accept that men and women are of equal moral worth, this is the explanation. Men's classic mode of achieving better partners is polygamy, usually seen manifested as infidelity. Again, if we consider men and women to be of equal moral worth, this is the explanation.

When men or women deviate from that script -- when a woman is flagrantly unfaithful or a man initiates divorce -- there is far more likely to be serious fault with the other partner's behavior than when a woman initiates divorce or the man is flagrantly unfaithful. Men will cheat on even exemplary wives and women will divorce fantastic husbands. But when a man initiates divorce or a woman flagrantly cheats -- though there are of course exceptions -- in general you will find something seriously wrong in their partner.

I agree, every man *that a woman actually wishes to keep* who leaves a wife does so for different reasons. And those reasons ARE unique. However, certain general rules can indeed be drawn.

Just as you can generalize about 50 year old men being heavier and balder than 25 year old men in spite of the fact there are exceptions (dunno myself, I'm a long ways from 50); I can equally generalize that when a man who is desired leaves a wife, he is doing so because she has certain attitudes. Though the data from which I gather that is to some degree anecdotal -- from my counseling role as a life coach and many years in the ministry (I am no longer in the ministry because no longer subscribe to Judaeo-Islamo-Christianism) -- I encountered enough of this to ascertain a pattern.

Anyway -- your criticism is not valid because you are criticizing me for failing to answer unasked questions. That doesn't mean you haven't brought up worthwhile stuff -- it just isn't topical.

I got paid on a corp-to-corp 1099 and loved it.

I got to do a gig for 3-6 months then move on to the next. It was a great deal and I was always fresh and getting the job done.

Employeeism actually sucks for both parties. There is unequal commitment, too much of a power differential and that differential is in the wrong places, etc.

One day I'll tell ya about the place where I later became co-owner that literally stopped hiring women altogether as a remedy for sexual harassment claims. No women = no harassment. Too much of the wrong kind of power differential and it backfired.

..the response to you is there are one or two things about Islamofascism that may not be so bad.

Thats grounds for a suit too.

a partnership helps both be better together than apart. when that doesn't work out and cannot be adjusted, it's time to move on.

my exes kept on with the BBBJCIMSNQNS until the very end and even a bit beyond. anyway, i didn't just leave them. i left them because they wanted me to go and were conflicted about it. so i opted for clarity.

Ex wife? G men? Children? TER?

Afraid you would have to be more specific.  

As for your response ...  There are no absolutes in the world. Even most horrific cultural formations have something of value.  

And yet, …somehow.....I could easily easily anticipate the general responses—before they were even posted.

Why do men leave their wives?

Her  ass grew its own zipcode.
She’s  bitch
She doesn’t suck enough cock
She lets the house and kids go to hell and doesn,'t cook
She’s a gold-digger
SHE doesn’t meet MY needs……fill in the blank.

This attitude is overwhelmingly prevalent here. And, yes. I ‘get’ it’s a male dominated poon board; which, apparently, makes this a bit like prison in that not a single guy here is guilty of the failure of his marriage, in any way.

OTOH, the reality is that the majority of “wives” actually WORK outside the home, as well as contribute to the family in endless ways; often including working a full time job and taking on the bulk of the responsibility for maintaining the home, and childcare.

But, just to keep the answer narrow: I completely disagree that the  OP’s question can be summed up in one word.  

Men leave their wives for a hellava lot of different reasons beyond HER sense of “entitlement”.