Can't we just all get along?

In recent threads I've noticed several comments made from men and women posting distasteful comments. Usually, rude comments are based upon self-defense tactics. I guess it is sort of a venting bulletin board for all our frustrations and hostility coming from our personal lives. If so, that is a shame. However, must we lower ourselves to defend against threats by belittling others who are nice people? "Can't we all just get along?" :0

I cannot blame Wanderer for being upset that his wife teases him and then tells him to go and jerk off. After awhile that would bother me, too. In fact, I had a boyfriend that wouldn't give it to me enough, so I can feel your pain, buddy. Not all women are alike, guys. You tell us that all the time about men.

However, the book "Men Are From Mars" is so truthful. Until men and women learn to communicate with each other, there will always be slander toward the opposite gender. Get a clue, guys. Most women do not like to be called "bitch."  And, I'm pretty sure that most men wouldn't like to be called "worthless assholes."

     Rule #1 for women:  Don't assume men know what you want. Tell them. Don't give them the silent treatment. Please attempt to converse intelligently and carefully when you disagree with them.

    #2:  Give them sex. If you don't, generally
no matter how much they love you they will seek sex elsewhere.

    #3:  Accept the fact that they may watch sports on TV (hopefully not every weekend), so go do something you enjoy if this disturbs you. Try giving them blowjobs during half time.

    Rule #1 for men:  Don't call women "bitches." You might as well say "cunt" which is equally disturbing. Some of us are not into rap music, and a bitch means a female dog in heat. Look up in dictionary.

    #2:  Try being romantic. I know this kills some of you, but try anyway. You might just get laid. If this doesn't help and you're even helping around the house, then I'd say you don't have an appreciative woman. Perhaps she's either ill and needs to see a doctor or she's not in love with you anymore. If the latter is the case, that is a shame, but divorce her and have fun hobbying. It might be worth living in a smaller apartment again to have your freedom back.

    #3: Communication is key to women. Gently ask them what is wrong? If you don't get an answer, tell them to read "Men Are From Mars."  

If all of these do not apply to you, then you're obviously doing something right, people!  Just my two cents, for whatever it is worth. But please . . . let's try to be civil to one another. I know I enjoy this board and the debates as long as they're intelligent, funny and not degrading to other people. If you disagree with someone, you can state so politely or humorously. We all need a good laugh.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 6/10/2006 11:31:47 AM

-- Modified on 6/10/2006 11:34:05 AM

for dragging a discussion on way past where it should have gone.

If I was out of line, I think most of you know that that is not my character and was not an intentional attack.

For what it's worth...
I do apologize to this board.

Just my opinion...
B

I think you were just defending ladies' honor because no one likes the word "bitch", especially when someone says it knowing women read the board, too. Anyway, I just wanted to post something because it seems like manners are missing these days. I hope I haven't offended anyone either. Please let's keep the National Board fun and not like the Phoenix board.

Thanks & hugs,
Ciara

Advice for women #3 sounds great to me, but it could backfire during playoffs, as he'll never get off the couch. You could end up being a whore to TIVO!

For men or women, I highly advise a book titled "You Just Don't Understand", which documents the different communication styles between the sexes. It helps a bunch for workplace communication, too.

I don't remember who the author was - I think I threw the book away when I moved away after the divorce.

She refused to read the book...
Maybe I should have gotten in to watching Football...

Sorry!!

Now, I WILL crawl back into my hole, until I can handle the truth. Thanks

is Respect.  Regardless of the situation, or what you might call it otherwise, respect is the foundation of good communication, and communication is the basis of a good  relationship.  If you can't have respect for each other, then forget about everything else.

I ditto that, Turkana. Mutual respect is the basis for everything.

Emphatically agree with you on "You Just Don't Understand". I'm pretty sure that the author's name is Deborah Tanner,Phd, a linguist from Maryland. It's the only book I've read by a woman that comes close to understanding men's actions and reactions to communication. From a male-female standpoint it seems well balanced without an agenda other than a search for the truth as related to intersex communication. It is a simple and even entertaining book to read, but serious in purpose and fundementally sound in precepts. A book to be read by males and females better earlier in their life than later, but worthwhile at any age.

I got the silent treatment after he voiced his opinion but didn't want to hear mine. Of course, that wasn't a good relationship anyway, and I'll never subject myself to such a person again.

Hugs,
Ciara

you practice what you preach, Turk?

Most words have multiple definitions. You are somewhat  correct that definition number one for bitch is "a female canine - generally a dog". No mention of being in heat.

However, definition number two is "A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing"

So if a woman doesn't want to be called a bitch, a woman should not act in a spiteful or overbearing way.

The other word that is consired taboo here is whore. The number one definition of a whore is "one who engages in sexual acts for money"

We place our own value system on words - but sometimes a spade is a spade and a bitch is a bith and a whore is a whore.

This is not an attack on anybody & I am not calling anybody any of these words - I simply used a dictionary to look up and correctly define some words.

some people just don't have a clue as to how to treat other people: men and women alike. It's also funny how the dictionary has changed over time and it's definitions. Other than that, I think I made my point pretty clear. It's not so much a matter of definitions, it's having good manners. The latter is important to most women in this business. I would never see anyone that called me a whore or a bitch. Just my opinion.

Hugs,
ciara

Write a word like "bitch" toward someone like your wife and most women reading it will feel the sting.  Men will not be aware of it, either.  Women respond that way far more than men will.  

Guys might hold the "liberated" point of view that they should be able to talk to women they way they talk to other guys.  There have been a few who have posted here with that misconception.  It just doesn't work like that.  As you pointed out, Ciara, the sexes are just different.

It has nothing to do with maturity or how tough you are, either.  The two sexes just biologically respond in different ways.  You want to make yourself very odious to women, just throw around words like "bitch" or "cunt," especially when referring to those you love.

An excellent book - and you've summarized it nicely. Just be careful: TER doesn't allow full reviews on the board... LOL.

The book is gone (or buried in packing boxes) but I still use the knowledge gained from it every day.

b

Ciara, thanks for taking your time to post this.  I agree with you and appreciate your sentiments.  You're obviously a really nice lady.

I think you mean Deborah Tannen.