I've been with a few providers. Among them I found one that I keep coming to because we have a special connection where it's not business. Well I've seen my fav provider about a week ago and I haven't stopped thinking about her and I think I've fallen in love with her. I'm led to believe that she might have the same feelings I have for her. I never lied to her in my conversations; I'm poor and I'm not good at getting a girlfriend.

Now here's the deal maybe down the road I would like to stop paying for her services and explore the possibility of having a relationship with her; even if she's still a working girl.

So just wondering what do you all think. Have any of you feel the same way I do. Have any of you stopped being customer and provider and became a real couple.

I have been out all night but did you just say "quit paying"  and "in love" allll at once?

NOOOO you didn't ....I must be drunk!!

And you wanna "explore the possibility of having a relationship with her; even if she's still a working girl"..

Those are your words, copy, pasted.

I might just go piss myslef thats so goddamned funny, BWHAHHAHHAHA!

We love you doesn't mean we loooooove you

But it's highly unlikely that your feelings will be mutual.  Honestly, your plan sounds fairly one-sided to me. You don't get to decide if you will stop paying her or not and honestyl, I'm sure you really have no idea what it would be like to have a relationship with a woman who provides.

I have a couple of special ladies that I see. I love both of them and they love me. It ends there. I pay for my sessions, even though there is a fair amount of "off the clock" activity.  We have a great time and we keep in touch between sessions but there are boundaries.

Can it happen? Sure it can. One of my favs has a friend who met her husband through escorting.  Never say never, but the odds are against it.

youre probably in love with the sex

If there isnt an envelope , you arent getting that much sex in a relationship - LOL
and hour or two , is much different than a year or two -

Love may be free, but sex will always cost you.

Now it is perfectly normal to let yourself fall in love with a provider.  I believe that chemestry, among other things leads us to strong attractions to others.  If that attraction is mutual, then why not follow it?

But here's what you must always remember:

You do not ever get free sex.

Write this down on the chalk board 1000 times if you need to, but do not ever forget it.

Love is grand, and God knows I am still in love with an escort (Bev Fisher - 3 years this month!) and I am loving it even though it is a long distance relationship.

But if I were just looking for pay for play companionship, I would keep things sweet and simple with the envelope as Ciara indicates.

The decision is yours.  Make sure you've considered all the angles.

You say you've never lied to her - but, other than this statement: "I'm poor, and I'm not good at getting a girlfriend.", you are probably not being very honest with yourself.

You've paid for sex a few times - several times with this one particular girl, so you think you are in love with her? Can you see anything wrong with that picture?

You are "led to believe" that she "may" have the same feelings? You ARE aware that women who work in this field are providing that fantasy? That those who are successful at providing "GFE" service excell at making us feel as though we are special?

YOGETTER - I rarely attempt to speak for others, but I'm going to attempt to make a few generalizations here that I think are true:

1) Women RARELY enter the escort field for the purpose of finding that one special guy

2) Escorts RARELY fall in love with a guy after a few nights of sex

3) It's possible, I suppose, but rather hard to imagine, that an escort would fall for a guy and date him off the clock while knowing that she had to support him by continuing to escort.


It's ABSOLUTELY possible for hobbyist and escort to meet and develop deeper feelings, but it doesn't happen every day, and it's a situation fraught with peril.

Sex isn't Love.

the first thing that came to mind when i read this was oh-goodness no.
first off, even though i'm proud of you for admitting that you are "poor", you are and will be ok not paying her yet her continuing to be a working girl?  wouldn't she then be supporting you?  of course someone who is poor would be ok with that.
i made that huge mistake with a guy and had paid for it in many many ways. literally.  

never say never for falling in love...no matter how nor where but this sounds odd to me.

heres some examples of escort/hobbyist relationships

1- Man says i love you, girls says, i love you, man says quit, she says ok, she does it behind his back cause his cheap ass aint gonna pay all her bills, LOL.. Man finds out, threatens to out her to family and cops.

2- Man says  i love you, girls says, i love you. im still going to work.Man says ok. Gets jealous cause every stranger in the nation gets her good sex- shes too tired to give it to him. they fight, they break up. threatens to out her to family and cops.

3- Man says  i love you, girls says, i love you.Ill take care of you for the rest of your life. Lady says ok but man isnt fullfilling all her material needs. He runs out of money, She gets pissed off- and blasts your name all over the internet on every blacklist there is.

4-Man says  i love you, girls says, i love you.together for a few months. Girl find out the schiester is married and threatens to out him to his wife, family and job that he sees escorts LOL

5-Man says  i love you, girls says, i love you. After a while, girl decides she doesnt love him and this isnt the man for her- So he writes her bad reviews- gives her a bad reputation all over the net- and turns her into the police-

I think that about sums it up - LOL

-- Modified on 7/18/2008 7:45:29 AM

while I'll agree with you that the chances of the lady having the same feelings as the OP are remote at best, I have to strongly disagree that there is no such thing as free sex.

I have had the fortune on several occasions to move from paying customer to "friends with benefits" to "serious relationship" The odds are not good and I have seen countless hundreds of providers so my ratio is still way less than 1%, but it does happen, I am living proof.

This topic comes up way too frequently. So, what I want you to do is go see your best male friend. Stand about 2 feet in front of him, and tell him exactly what you have done and how you feel. Now close your eyes, because if he is your best friend, he will first say WTF, then slap the living shit out of you, and hopefully bring you back to reality.

Why on earth would I want to take a great lover who I really enjoy being with who is paying me and turn him in to a non-paying lover?

Now she and I have great chemistry and really enjoy our time together.....   but man does she have her head on straight!!!!!

I have fallen in 'mutual love' with a provider...  we had a powerful addicting relationship that lasted six weeks then poof!  

I've also had a couple that I have seen many many times that I sometimes wish I had met under other circumstances.  But these two we stayed within the boundaries and have had a very pleasant long term provider/client relationship that I have really enjoyed.

The boundaries are there for a reason!  Always remember that no matter how special the provider/client relationship sometimes can become, it is always artificial in one important way-  we are seeing each other only at our very best and not bearing all the 'in between' times that all relationships have to survive.

And none of us- hobbyists or providers are here in the hobby because of our amazing talent at long term relationships!!!!




-- Modified on 7/18/2008 1:04:45 PM

Well, most of them. I fall in love at the drop of a hat, but only for an evening at a time. I love her. She loves me. I'd be a fool to think that any of these ladies would think of me as the catch of a lifetime, so I'm more than content with my little fantasies. They do wonders for me. Damn, I'm such a stud.

Ask the LG on the Erotic Highway, or better yet do a search on the EH. It's loaded with this subject matter.

I love my clients & I think most successful girls do.....otherwise we'd go crazy!

But I would be livid if a guy suggested that he quit assisting me financially but I could continue to work as an escort.
???

-- Modified on 7/18/2008 3:15:31 PM

Ciara...LOL...

6-Man says I love ya, Girl says, I love ya too. someone gets Herpes and all bets are off.

7-Man says I loves you, girl says.....thinks....I got to cut this guy off.

8-Man says I think I love you........how much for a half hour, girl says I do not love you.

Seriously, I've had more than a couple ladies espouse their unbridled feelings for me.  I must be pretty fuckin wonderful, because it happens way more frequently than I ever would've imagined.

Sometimes, it lasts an hour.  Other times it lasts several.  Once it even lasted long beyond the appointment, but it finally faded...the next morning when I woke up from my dream.

Sure yogetter, you could be on to something.  More likely though, you're just being wishful.  It's a great place so long as you don't start doing stupid stuff as a result of it.

"Good. Now go and love some more" after being told she was loved by Harold.

Its never wrong to love.  Its only wrong to order pizza without pepperoni.  You can quote me or Ruth.

I agree with Boston Guy. It's not wrong, I think it's only natural to feel some type of closeness with someone you have done a very intimate act with; especially if was a real GFE with kissing and cuddling and talking.
It is however very unlikely that it would lead to a   true relationship. I tried that once with a provider and it didn't happen.  I felt bad about it but placing it in the proper perspective, it was probably good that it didn't go anywhere.
Invariably what ends up happening is that you start to get jealous and the thought of her doing it with someone else but you grinds on you.  At some point, you feel like you need to tell her that she needs to stop what she's doing and get a job and be with you exclusively. It just gets way too complicated.
anyway, that is my 2 piastars worth and I'm sticking to it.

Trust me; if you turn your financial situation around you'll be beating em' off with a stick.

A man can be any amalgam of unattractive physical, social, and emotional traits; but if he got money...he got girls.
The very fact that she initially fucked you and has continued fucking you vindicates what I say.

Ask her if she would like a "relationship" with you where she fucks you without monetary compensation. Dollars to donuts what you have now will soon be gone.

Thanks everyone, I appreciate all the comments you've given me. I needed someone to knock some sense into me and snap me out of it.

I read a post somewhere in the TER discussion boards in where a provider ended up going out of state and changed her name to hide from a crazy client who became a stalker. I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT GUY.

I'll keep in mind that the possibility is there, but I won't go out on a limb.

Maybe I am different than most but I have fallen for a few clients and stayed with them for a long time. However eventually they couldnt stand my job,or they pased away.It didnt work out. I dont even think about doing it again, but I have had a few different relationships lasted for a long long time. So I am not suggesting going after her,  just keep seeing her, if she likes you, she wont want you to leave.But the chance of that is like finding a needle in a haystack. Just wanted to tell you, it can happen. Good Luck, dont get your hopes up however.

-- Modified on 7/20/2008 11:09:48 AM

Interesting post, Gambler, but just like the proverbial "free lunch", in my experience there's no such thing as free sex, even with a GF or wife. Think about it.

in order to be soo intimate with your partner I
feel affection toward her at the time. Love! I
don't think so. I do have one provider that I am very close with and I guess you could say that we
share a certain love for each other as very special friends. The hobby is no place to look for the love of your life. You're going to get hurt if you do.