reviews?!?! Your own? Some other sexy lady's? The duo of your dreams?! Lol...

Call me crazy, but some guys really know how to write! I love reading reviews while playing with my vibrator  


Am I alone out here? And guys please... don't waste a thread... we all know you get off to our reviews Other comments welcome!

xo
Natalie

Need help? Call me @ 1-800-HOT-STUD. [e]

-- Modified on 1/14/2013 11:28:03 AM

The combo of seeing a pic of your beautiful bod and the scintillating prose definitely does the trick . . .

A keen imagination is a sign of a healthy mind . . . Or maybe it's a sign of insanity. . . Or maybe wishful thinking.

just does nothing for me. I would rather watch one of the "Housewives" series.

Not the formulaic ones.  However some of the men arrange unique sessions that are incredibly erotic.  And of course I always appreciate when more than one woman is involved.  Who knows if they are real or fiction, but I always appreciate a good read and like you, have been to known to incorporate some of these into my masturbation fantasies.

How could these incredible feats of manliness not get all hookers turned on?

Come on LR...guys' getting hookers off 5 times...him squirting his jizz 30 feet...falling into each others arms like long lost lovers.

I don't watch that Housewives shit either...too scripted for my liking.  I prefer a hockey game with screaming and yelling obscenities and vulgarities...that's fun.  Unless you have a thin skin...and I know YOU don't  LOL

I agree, some write very well.  Reviewers are encouraged to incorporate a little humor and creativeness when doing reviews.....as long as they are factually accurate.

I was reading a review a while back where a usual 1 pop guy was describing his attempt at round 2 with a very willing provider who was up for the challenge.  His description went something like this:

"I'm normally a one pop guy, but ________ was having none of that.  She proceeded to get me going again with a great BBBJ and we proceeded with mish.  _____ was into it, but unfortunately, I couldn't keep up my end of the bargain and my little soldier just died right out there on the field of battle."

I still seriously laugh out loud when this pops in my mind just driving down the road.  

There are some creative folks on TER.  I get a kick out of it.

And I've never played with myself while reading a review, but I have gotten many hard-ons.

for sure..i can write some pretty juicy reviews [non fiction of course}.the whole purpose of a juicy and sex filled review is to make the reader salivate..once you make them drool..they want some..the cycle of continuous fucking keeps turning..the girls always appreciate "truth in advertising"...

and those marks are still there from the clothespins to prove it..

Maybe I am a little sexpot with too many toys to count... when I don't meet a guy every day I have to play some way.... and I've found that some reviews turn me on more than bad porn! Its fun to change it up sometimes.

Natalie

and not something to read for fun or pleasure...the novelty wears off after awhile or it did for me.
i like pornhub.com and my vibrator.

They're not as satisfying as a National Geographic, but they'll do.

I find most reviews to be a cross between bidder's notes from a livestock auction and porn written by teenager. Any story that starts, "Standard two call system after getting the green light from my references..." is not going to stir the deep recesses of my libido.

I clicked on each of the links on the disclosure page.  Pretty funny.

"we fell into each others arms like long lost lovers"...

That's got to get your juices going...or at least get up to the fridge and pour some juice.

Yea...these are classics  

Throw a goat and trampoline into the story and I'll keep reading.

But if you put your mind to it...doesn't the guy who is 250 pounds overweight who babbles about how he dangled her from the ceiling work for you?

I play a mental game of erotic connect-the-dots from the liver spots on his bald sweaty head.

I can see how many would fall for a girl like Rasha. She is beautiful, intelligent, and assured, yet is not desperately projecting her life choices on others for their assurance in her decisions. I would probably fall for her, and my review would reflect that lol.

And how to explain to the wife...

Another interesting topic to explore on the Wide World of TER...Oh the agony of de feet  LOL

I would have to ask her to write it...as apparently too many naive eyes might read into it that she is a hooker.

And I wouldn't want that to happen!

Maybe if you and Rasha are up for "Double Jeopardy"....she'd kick your sorry ass.  And the two of us would have to introduce you to the TENS unit...and Rasha's unforgiving tongue  LOL

Fortunately, my humility keeps my perfection in check so it doesn't over power my wonderfulness.

Hi RRasha,

Ok, I stole that line from the comment section!! Ask & you shall receive!!

I'm Definitely not DH Lawrence or ee cummings, but I agree and probably fell into that trap early on.....I try to write something fun, a little different.
I like reading reviews to see if the lady would be compatible.....Some are hot, others are just pure....

but occasionally you will find a good one.

I told Milena to dress up for me wearing a schoolgirl style skirt, a button down blouse and matching panties and bra, and only have on ankle socks with no shoes upon my arrival. She was also told that she was to have forgotten the parcel when I asked her for it. I walk in and there is Milena, dressed exactly as instructed and bowing her head as I entered the room (quick ID check and a hello, but otherwise fulfilling her role exactly). As I asked her for the package, she looked at me quizically and said she was very sorry that she forgot it. She then offered up that she be punished, or maybe I should just forgive her. She tried to kiss me (which I allowed) and then started to grind her amazing body up against me as restitution. After a minute or so I pushed her away and said that would not be acceptable and that I would consider the proper discipline after I showered. But as I said to her that I was concerned she might try and leave, I told her I would need to tie her up so no escape would be possible.

Prior to the bondage I asked her to show me the toys I had asked her to bring to the session. She had some restraints, paddles and vibrators. I believe she thought that I would use her equipment, but I brought my own ropes (as I really love the sight of a beautiful lady in rope bondage). I bound Milena's wrists together behind her back, and she began to comment on high tight this was and that she couldn't get free (well..that was the idea I had in mind, and I am pretty good with ropes). I then moved her to the bed and had her lie on her stomach where I tied her ankles together as well. She stood herself up and began the hop (unbelievably hot seeing this gorgeous young lady hopping and shuffling) to the bathroom. I proceed to shower while Milena sits watching me. As I finish I asked her what she will do to make this up to me. She offers anything, and anything it will be.

She hops and shuffles back to the bed and lays on her stomach as I tell her to come and suck on my cock. Her BBBJ is awesome and I grab her by the ponytail and force her head to sit up uncomfortably while she blows me. I then pull off and continue the bondage assault putting Milena into a very tight hogtie. At this point she is about 2 feet from the edge of the bed and I told her to come back and continue the BBBJ. In this position it took her a while to wriggle her way back over to me, and eventually my slapping that gorgeous ass helped stimulate her to move faster. She continues the BBBJ for awhile, but I couldn't stand not seeing her pussy (she was still fully clothed). As I sat next to her I pulled her tiny red panties to the side to divulge a throbbing clit and very wet pussy. At this point Milena had endured a good 45 minutes of rather tight and extensive rope bondage. I untied her to make sure that there were no circulation issues and she assured me she was fine.

The rest of this review was fairly standard.