I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
-I do physical labor.
-I work at great depths.
-I plunge head first into everything I do.
-I do not get weekends off or public holidays.
-I work in a damp environment.
-I don't get paid overtime.
-I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
-I work in high temperatures.
-My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Dear Penis, After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
-You do not work 8 hours straight.
-You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods.
-You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
-You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas.
-You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
-You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
-You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
-You'll retire well before reaching 65.
-You're unable to work double shifts.
-You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work.
-And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely, The Management

If you made it up, you should shoot to become a comedy writer.

Unfortunately it's not mine, I wish I were that clever. A guy at work mentioned someone I hadn't heard anything of for quite a whlie, "The Happy Hooker" Xaviera Hollander. Out of curiosity I did a search on her and found that she has her own website. I lifted it from there, if you're here Xaviera I hope you don't mind. If you do you'll probably think I'm a Ignoranus, LOL.

-- Modified on 12/31/2005 4:31:47 AM

-- Modified on 12/31/2005 4:54:08 AM

If there would be a way to get Xaviera to comment in TER?