From time to time on the General and Local boards an overweight hobbyist will post a Q about whether providers like to see large men. Almost always, the reaction is that good hygiene and politeness count for a great deal with providers, and many providers are quick to say that they will gladly see a large and well-groomed man as a client.
So where am I going with this? Well, for starters, it has nothing to do with the hobby. I've recently met a young man who is smart, funny and talented, and I would like him to be successful in life. (He's a friend of my daughter). He's also very large and, frankly, there are hygiene issues, some of which may be fungal and therefore treatable. But it's also clear to me that it cannot be easy for a guy like this to keep himself clean. Daily showers are great (he takes them) but there are a lot of crevices and other issues that need to be addressed.
So here's the deal. Can I get some PRACTICAL advice on how to get this guy to improve his hygiene? He's a struggling college student so please dont suggest daily full-bodied loofah scrubs at a Korean spa. (Although maybe getting a loofah might not be a bad idea . . . .)
Feel free to PM me. Websites, books, other ideas -- all welcome. NO JOKES please. This is a sensitive issue.
I'm a fat guy so I'm not going to sugar coat it. He needs to bath often, once a day is not enough. If he has some sort of fungal growth he needs to see a doctor. There is no magic formula beyond that other than diet and exercise and at least trying to live a healthier lifestyle. Bottom line here is that he has to WANT to do it. Soap and water is cheap and plentiful. You just have to get in their and use it.
I'm a shade under 6' tall, and my weight hovers between 370 and 400 lbs. It aint fun, believe me.
I concur with Bostonguy. There is no magic bullet besides making a serious effort at cleanliness. But it can be done, it just takes an extra effort.
I typically take a bath AND a shower every day. On hot days or after alot of physical activity, I take another shower, sometimes a bath.
I don't use a loofah, but I do use copious amounts of soap and gels, talcum powder, and deodorant, not to mention a clean washcloth for every bath or shower. I take my time, and if I have to contort myself in the bathtub to get clean, so be it. The alternative is far more unpleasant and uncomfortable. The fungus issues can easily be dealt with medically and/or homeopathically, but it still requires a level of due diligence on the part of the individual to maintain hygiene after the fungus has been dealt with.
There are also tools available for the morbidly obese to assist in getting to those "hard to reach places". I'm fortunate I don't require aids of that nature, but others do, and have no qualms about using them. Google "bariatric bath supplies" and that will give you a starting point for tools that may help make it easier for your daughters friend. Good luck.
You are wonderful to ask this question in such a loving way!
I went to school for this kind of thing. :}
I recommend a natural solid crystal deoderant stick (or the spray version) that can be purchased at a natural food store. I'd also recommend papaya enzymes with chlorophyll to regulate digestion and act as an internal deoderizer. Also, I recommend the use of something like a backscrubber that is l-o-n-g and flexible, like a narrow towel, or a ayate fiber cloth back scrubber. (do a google search)
Best of luck to all!
CyndiSmith(BBW!)
What I have found the best when showering is a mesh sponge with a handle. He may need to look around to find one, but they do exist. I load it down with liquid soap and use it to get between the thighs and in the genital area to make sure I'm clean. Of course a bath is best, but this works for the shower.
Best of luck to him. If he doesn't drop the weight he's likely to get type II diabetes which will lead to MANY complications. He can lose feet and legs, eyesight, and become impotent.
My friend:
This is a touchy subject. You are fortunate, however, because the Spitzer situation opens the door to discussions about sexual matters without being too obvious.
My suggestion is to tell him about one of your co-workers who came right out and told you that he can't fault Spitzer because he sees providers. You can tell him how you were shocked because he is a very big guy. So, of course, you asked your co-worker how he got comfortable with ... ahem ... showing his body to so many different women. Then, you can relate what he told you ... he said "women in that business are so used to all different men, they don't care at all about the body, what they care about is that they are treated with respect and that I am super super clean." You can even explain how he told you that his size made the latter requirement a little difficult and how he had to go to Bed Bath and Beyond to find some tools that could help him to reach all the sensitive areas.
If the story is working, I might elaborate by saying that you tested the concept with some of your female co-workers and they cackled and told tales of unclean guys they saw and how it ended some potentially good relationships because cleanliness is critical.
Well, that's my advice. If you want to discuss further, you know how to reach me.
OK, I'm vertically challenged... I've been fighting weight issues for years... (It's tough with the medical issues I have.) I am fighting to reverse it (again). But in the meantime, frequent bathing is a must. The others has given good advise. I have occasionally found bacteria problems in the creases under the belly or against the thighs. IMHO, it is made worse by moisture. Drying throughtly is important. First with a towel. Then I'll use alcohol on a cotton ball. Alcohol evaporates cleanly taking the water with it. It there is an irritation, it'll burn like hell for a minute but it kills the bacteria. Sure, talc powder is good, then clean underwear.
don't let him take himself so seriously that he can't make or take a joke about his situation. otherwise, those who make jokes out of hate will win.
follow the link; this fellow has a pretty good story to tell and a great reading list of books about weight loss, exercise, positive mental attitude, personal hygiene, et al.
as I read this post my heart goes out to all who struggle with issue. years ago I lost 75 lbs. I to dealt with this issue among others my deciding factor in finely taking a stand and taking my life back.
When I took my kids to Disney land In Ca and had to rent a scooter BC my legs could not hold my wight while walking. And I was only in my early 30's.
My point is this. I also fear for you daughters friend he is in college he's a baby(young) to young. My brother died last year at 41 years of age,also young by today's standards.
http://www.oa.org/index.htm
If you care for this boy as I see you do please please do encourage as much as you possible can this young man to drop this wight.
My Brother had a massive heart attack, He had no symptoms of having clogged arteries he just sat down and died. He was gone in a minute.
Now this may have been a blessing for him in going so quick but my family will never recover from the lose. I would also like to apply this to the other men who responded.
Please do something about your wight I realize the other problems are important to address. But I beleve your loved ones would much rather have you hear. Wight watchers and over eaters anonymous are the real deals in losing wight and keeping it off.
We all know quick fixes don't really work. I know you all know this I just thought I would try to give an other prospective.Thanks for reading any one who thinks they want give it a try here are 2 links to get you started and you can always e-mail me or PM me for moron support. LOL
If the dude is SO OBESE that he stinks, and hygiene is a problem at a college age....then he is a mess in the making. I'm serious, not joking. Daughter needs a new guy if fungal issues are involved. GROSS!
He needs to thoroughly scrub his body TWICE a day with a clean washcloth, Dial soap and Betadine.
http://www.amplestuff.com/skincleansers.aspx
He should purchase these. If he cannot afford those, he can make his own solution with Betadine and liquid soap.
He really needs to rid his skin of the odor causing bacteria.
with most of what everyone else said, except of course Fat_F*****.
I think this issue isn't just affecting obese men, many “thin” men don't get it right to be quite frank. Washcloths were invented for a reason, and they should be used. I am always grossed out when a guy asks to shower but avoids using the washcloth I provide. When you get your carpet cleaned would you be satisfied if Stanley Steamer just got the carpet wet and didn't use the machine to scrub the fiber? NO, you wouldn't. Running the bar of soap over your balls isn’t getting you clean, FYI.
The washcloth should be lathered heavily; I much prefer a washcloth to any other cleaning instrument for one basic reason- maneuverability. This is a bit graphic, and I apologize but it needs to be said. A loofah or sponge isn't going to really clean and remove debris from hard to reach places. I am surprised how many men lift their leg and want me perform Asian without having a shower OR after just getting their body wet and expecting me to accept that as clean. You may be uncomfortable with this, but you should use the washcloth to scrub your ass, lol. Yeah- that means rubbing it and maybe even pushing a finger (covered in washcloth of course) in a bit to get it really clean. Even if you don't want someone to lick your ass, the funk will grow during the day and most of us girls would rather not have to endure the smell.
For most men, when the penis isn’t hard it has folds of skin which always create smell. When you’re uncircumcised, it only gets worse. The skin should be pulled back and the whole thing should be wash with a washcloth. The balls too need to be scrubbed well- there is hair and it holds odor, yuck.
Sorry Moment, I had to take the opportunity to push my freaky hygiene standard, lol. As for your friend, I have known a few morbidly obese men in my time and most used products found on the internet.
Using bleach and antibacterial products other than soap really is only going to irritate the skin further, the real fix is to scrub the areas with soap (Dial is my favorite antibacterial brand) and making sure the area is dried completely. One gentleman actually uses a rim scrubber (as in car rim) because the handle is long, the bristles are long but soft and it can withstand being exposed to water daily. I got one for a 6’6” family member who isn’t morbidly obese, but just super fucking tall.
It does take time to go thru a daily hygiene routine when you’re morbidly obese, so that should be stressed.
Another helpful tool might be one of those handheld shower massagers, it will help get the water were it needs to go.
A fungal infection is probably because he isn’t drying completely, many “thin” men have it too, and it’s just aggravated more in a very large person. EVERYONE should dry themselves completely after showering. Many hurry thru that (either because they’re late for work or there is a naked woman laying in a bed waiting for them), please don’t. Personally I have two towels, one to get the majority of the water off with and a smaller one to buff the areas that retain water (i.e.- I don’t shave my kitty, so I have to really wash and dry that area well).
Lastly, having a larger shower and a chair to sit/lean on may help him. Most morbidly obese people lack strength so it may wind him to stand, bend and stretch a lot to properly clean himself.
Hope this helps!
XO
Melanie