Their job is to give you what you want.  The better they are, the more you buy it.  This just proves that you've been with great providers.  You are not the stud you think you are, but they are fantastic for making you think it.



-- Modified on 2/15/2008 12:41:54 PM

and that self-absorbed, what do you need providers for? You should never have to leave the house.

That will be $300.  I'm running a special on penis compliments, if you are interested.

to make others like us.

a nice guy already does.

When I was younger, I invariably went after the bad boys. They were cool, they were exciting, they made my naughty parts tingle. At the same time I was drawn to the bad boys like a moth to a flame, I kept wondering how I always managed to wind up with self centered arrogant jerks. Somehow, the correlation between two the eluded me.

One lesson I learned was that my own self esteem was to blame for my constant cycle of bums and bozos. I didn't know how it felt to be treated like a lady worthy of respect. I had never experienced it, so I honestly didn't know what I was missing. I didn't really expect it because I didn't think I really deserved it.

Fortunately, my life experiences have brought men in my life who treated me like a lady, who have shown the sort of respect and consideration I never realized I deserved. I think of it as having settled for McDonald's all my life, and finally experiencing fine cuisine. Having experienced the joys of a "nice guy" I am completely uninclined to ever go back to the "bad boys".

It may seem contradictory, but I absolutely love dirty talk during sex. I don't want to hear that I am a slut or a whore - but please by all means tell how good I am at sucking your cock, or tell me how pretty my lips look wrapped around your cock. I don't think of that as a "bad boy" behavior, or being disrespectful, but really just savoring the experience together.

What really matters though, is outside the bedroom. It is one thing to "give it to me good" in the bedroom - LOVE THAT - but when we are not in the bedroom, I have learned to cherish the feeling of being respected and valued. So for me, absolutely, the nice guys finish first always. I won't settle for anything less anymore. I like to say that the reason I love my SO so much is because he IS the man that new mothers dream of when they hold their newborn sons in their arms. A girl couldn't ask for more than that. He is more than just a nice guy, he is a good man.

and possibly the only one to extend an apology. Perhaps I was a little quick on the trigger. Now, go back and read your original post. You did seem to come off as though you were gently patting yourself on the back, then went immediately into beating your chest. That's just the way I read it.

the best imo is a man who is a true gentleman and carries himself with class and confidence, and has a genuine appreciate and respect for me. but at the same he is determined to have his needs met and is not afraid or hesitant to rough me up a bit in order to accomplish that.

one of my favorite clients is the perfect example of what i mean...a guy who most people would immediately describe as mr. nice guy, sweet and considerate. He would do practically anything to help anyone, and would seemingly never harm a fly. we have heart to heart convos on the phone at least once a week. but when he walks through my door, it's all about him. he'll grab me roughly, press my face into his crotch and pound my mouth until i gag and sputter...force my legs apart, split me open completely...he'll just go and go, using me like a ragdoll, until his time (2 or 3 hrs) is up. the last time he was here, i wasn't able to move after he was finished with me, and was kinda floating in and out...he had to let himself out. the next day, he sent me a cute e-card.

so that's what i prefer, the best of both worlds.

...that the "nice guy" v. "bad boy" comparison is overblown.  When you see the responses that are basically hedging, what that translates to is this:  they want someone who is fun!  But the catch is it has to be sincere.  Fake won't get it.  Now that's not to say that some chicks don't fall for the hottie who's got the "bad boy" look & persona, but for the most part that won't last if they discover that he's not "fun" to be with.  "Fun" doesn't mean that you have to be a non-stop barrel of laughs.  It just means that when a lady is in your company, she's relaxed and enjoys being with you b/c you're "fun".  "Fun" blows "looks" right out the door with most women.

Well there is nice in the bedroom there is nice in person, and then there is respect for the provider.

Nice has no place in the bedroom , period. I want hair pulling, ass-slapping , name-calling, a little light throat play is hot if they are into that (got to be careful with that..better to just hold then actually squeeze.I find the neck very erotic.)  In return I want nails in my back till I bleed...hey that's good times...

It's ok for them to say your nice, because that means your being respectful, and truthfully the only place it pays to be nice is in hobbying.

Don't do it in your real life. DO NOT. Ever..be nice. I gave that up 10 years ago and have managed a marginally healthy civvie sex life because of it.

When a civvie calls you nice, you might as well be Jim J. Bullock. When a provider does it means they appreciate your admiration and respect.

That being said, even with a provider you should turn on your bad side when the clothes start dropping. I admit even I when nervous have a hard time doing this (and I've been with over 100 women) it still shakes my nerves.. I guess I just love women too much.

so to summarize.

nice guy - to providers only

bad guy - to civvies, and to providers during the act (be respectful and safe but have fun!)

You live in LA my brotha? I'd disagree ..visit the OC with that attitude.

as I say good luck!

What you say is true, however, the girls out here want fun and looks, and they wiiiiil get it!

-M

Well, that's sort of a narrow-view. Wouldn't the guys have background on which behavior worked for them? Should be open to everyone, but I already responsed...soo uhh.. yeah!

-M

It doesn't matter much whether a man is a nice guy or a jerk, while hobbying.  The hobby in and of itself is based on fantasy.  A man pays for a provider's time and companionship so that he can enjoy something he really desires, whether or not he's able to get it for free outside the hobby.  So even if he's an AFC (average frustrated chump, a term from the seduction community) in the civvie world, a good provider can make him like a PUA (pick-up artist) for an hour, both physically and mentally.

So don't worry about being nice vs. being a jerk.  While being a nice guy may be a kiss of death in real life, it's a moot point in the hobby.  As long as you have the 3 C's (courtesy, cleanliness, cash) take care of, you'll have an enjoyable time with a friendly lady.  I'm some YMMV issues creep up here or there, but with a good provider, they're few and far between.

...and this is what I've discovered.

If you're a nice guy, chances are she'll marry you, give you one of more children, and you'll live happily ever after... for about 18 months.

If you're a bad boy, she won't marry you, but she'll fuck you every time she gets a hair up her ass about her now-fat husband and if she happens to get knocked up, well, hubby will raise it for you -- gratis.

If you want to be a nice guy, go for it. Me, I prefer the Dark Side.

I think you're overthinking this and you're wrapped up in your own fantasy.

Nice guys are ALWAYS appreciated in this hobby. Assholes are not. "Bad boys" and all that crap is really not the turn on you think it is considering you're talking about a group of ladies who are definitely paranoid that you will compromise their safety.

Katie

...is what a civvie girl wants and what a provider wants is apples and oranges.  hell maybe what a provider wants in a professional context vs private context is different.  Nobody wants a genuine asshole who might be dangerous of course, and i think most providers want generally good guys who have a kind, sweet, and nice side.  But i can see how it would be a turnon and a compliment to her skills if she can take a shy guy and bring out the sex animal in him.  Always a bit of an ego boost and an indicator of job well done.

Any providers here care to agree/disagree w me on this?