My guess is that 95% of ALL "adult" type information, whether it be pictures, come-ons, articles, reviews, etc. is pure BS designed to sell something.  Just like car dealerships... same concept, same style.  So, let the buyer beware, and don't believe even half what you see/hear on the web.  The exception is this site, which has a certain amount of value buried in the hype and exaggeration that inevitably gets mixed in with the real info.  But it's still very hard to determine what is real and what isn't.

I've been a member of adultfriendfinder for over 6 years now - I met my wife in the chatrooms there.  I can't speak for all such sites, but I can give you some skinny on AFF...

First, look at the numbers. We can discount the couples and groups, since they make up only about 2% of the AFF membership.  If you look at the raw figures, there's about 5 males for every female on AFF.  However, about half of the females are bi or lesbian and only seeking another female (while only about 2% of male members are gay looking for other males) so the more correct ratio is about 10-to-1 M/F.

Of those relatively few females, a vanishingly small percentage are desirable women actually looking for no-strings sex - about the same percentage as there is in real life for a hot woman that will go off and have sex with a guy she just met 2 minutes before while picking up a loaf of bread in the corner 7-Eleven.  Face it... if a woman is attractive and willing, she generally doesn't have to troll adult sites to find guys to play with, unless she has some significant emotional baggage that steers her in that direction.  

Likewise, another small percentage (tho' definitely larger than the first) are desirable women, usually married, looking for a long-term lover and potential mate, and want/need the anonymity the website provides.

Many of the rest are, to put it bluntly, painfully old, seriously overweight, grossly unattractive, and/or have emotional/mental problems ranging from mild neuroses to full-goose whack jobs.  Many others are simply looking for an escape - usually mentally and emotionally, rather than physically - from their boring lives and/or bad/abusive marriages.  In either case, almost all of these women want to at least *feel* like there's a safety factor along with some traditional romance (and usually, a potential for a longer-term relationship) involved, so they want to "get to know you", carry on a online relationship for a while, etc. ad nausium, before they will meet face-to-face for drinks, much less for sex.

So, if you're looking to hook up with a horny housewife for an evening of hot sex and no contact after, you're damned unlikely to do so on AFF... and from what I've seen and heard, the other adult personals sites are very similar.

Let's be honest the other way as well:  Most of the males on AFF are too ugly/fat/stupid/ill-mannered/immature/etc. to get a lady in real life, and too cheap or too egotistical to pay for an escort - which is why they're trolling adult sites on Friday nights looking for the date they can't get on their own in real life.

Moreover, it's my firm belief that you're better off hiring an escort - free sex is invariably the most expensive kind, escorts tend to be a lot safer about their activities than a horny housewife sneaking around on hubby, and they usually are much better in the sack too.

As for the ads... definitely, in the last couple of years AFF has been flooded with profiles that are really come-ons for other pay sites or services.  By far the largest group of these seem to be teasers that try to get you to a web site, only to find that it's protected by one of the "adult verification services" (AVS) and you have to sign up for the AVS before you can see the pics - in reality, these are just scam sites trying to make the AVS money.  

I believe AFF does try to trim these out where it can verify them, but remember that AFF gets hundreds of new members a day and is a small company with less than a dozen people on staff - they can't possibly do a real validation on every new applicant.

In any case, if you study the profiles a little, these come-on profiles become easy to spot.  Just keep in mind the info above about the type of real women that use these services, and remember that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Good luck!


-- Modified on 9/19/2002 9:35:36 AM

Whether all the "women" are really women remains to be seen. I looked at that once and suspected a lot of the women wanting to exchange hot emails might be bisexual or gay guys.

Guys want to believe that there are women out there who need sex. The truth is no female is in need of sex. She might need a decent man but she don't need sex. And the likelyhood that a decent man is going to walk in off a "finders" ad is slim and none.

IMHO most of these women are all hat no cattle ranch. I have exchanged emails and phone calls with a number and usually when you start talking about actually meeting they get real scarce.

From what I understand, the chance of a gentlemen meeting an attractive, hot woman wanting it "in every hole" through the adult classifieds is infinitesimal. No strings attached sex with beautiful women isn't going to happen unless you have money, power, or fame. An overweight, middle-aged punch press operator most likely will not score a super model, regardless of how large he thinks his member is.

If the adult classifieds actually worked well, there would not be such a need for my chosen profession

I placed an adult classified ad a while back and received an overwhelming response. I worded it in such a way to let the gentlemen understand that my time is valuable. Only about 2% of those responding actually got my drift. Many of them asked me if I was real or just a ploy for a porn site, as they were unaccustomed to seeing attractive women seeking "temporary relationships".

At any rate, my experience with the adult classifieds proved to be unfruitful. I decided that the free advertising venue wasn't going to work for me, and that the way to attract quality clientele was to PAY for an ad in a place where one generally goes to seek paid companionship.

If brief, no-strings-attached encounters are what you seek, you would be much better off perusing the escort ads than the adult classifieds. The best of luck to you

HazlEyes did a great job of outlining the situation with AFF in my view. I used to belong and, in fact, met one very nice woman there who I remain friends with. BUT I think thats the big exception. She had stories to tell about the morons who answered her ad which, to be polite, were not appealing. This was despite her ad which was very sensual and clear about what she was looking for in men. She was also very sincere about her ad.    The responses were mostly guys looking for quickies (the opposite of what she was offering)so she abandoned her effort. My experiences run along the lines that the women get so many resposes they are overwhelmed by the shear number! My advise is your better off looking elsewhere.