TER General Board

My opinion...
WebTerrorist 425 reads
posted

If the only thing you like about a woman is that she is "hot", then you can find other "hot" women.

If you like anything about her as a person beyond just her being "hot" then maybe it is worth working on.

Tarzan92635 reads

I wonder what are the thoughts that you folks have on fixing broken relationships.

I am by nature, a fixer and maybe a lot of guys are, but I wonder if that is really the best expenditure of my energy.

Could it be better to just find another girl when things get messed up with one?

Maybe this is one of those questions in life without a clear cut answer, but it's worth pondering.

This question is quite vaque.  Are we talking about a 20 year marriage or a 4 month thin?.  Are you just arguing or did she pull a gun on you?  On the other hand, maybe this is the wrong board for this type of thing.

Tarzan91926 reads

It is a generic question and no we're not talking about relationships where she pulls a gun or a knife on you. That is clear cut. You walk.
But sometimes the girl is so hot you don't want it to end, but she, say, gets angry over trivial things. Generally, I would try to fix it, but looking back over my life, I wonder if it all was just a waste of my time.
I mean in general when a relationship of a few months gets broken, should you invest the time to fix it or move on?  What do the guys say?  What do the girls think?

I think every guy encounters this recurring pattern in his life and it deserves some consideration.

If the only thing you like about a woman is that she is "hot", then you can find other "hot" women.

If you like anything about her as a person beyond just her being "hot" then maybe it is worth working on.

Webbies evil twin574 reads

Once again, your thoughts cut through the BS and get right at it.  Thanks Sis.

and oddly enough, when in the midst of stuff, and the high of when things are going well, compells you to continue?!   well, I agree, it is just so difficult to pull away....   I guess we men are kinda led around by that little guy!  

Glad to have read what you wrote.... as I think back on my life... and have often wondered if I was the only one like that - apparently not!

Your question is still too vague but here is how I see when you end up staying with it...
She is smart and hot.  Honest and stays with you.  How that for hypocrisy on my part?  She has tons of habits that drive you nuts.  You get over them.  You fight.  You have kids which are just the right mix of you both.  You almost walk...again.  But then you fix it. she fixes it...and each time you almost walk or she does like you both did before you decided to stick with this one and you look around and ask yourself...are others happier?  

I think these things are just too complicated to give generic advice.  It will be your call in your road ahead.

That you will either fly high with me, or figure out you're better off with your possible soulmate. On the other hand, you just may encounter something you haven't expected.
Wink!  A hot, older woman who is in need of warmth.

Hugs,
ciara
http://www.azescortciara.com

And that is often our downfall. Really, it depends on what the problems are but one thing I have  learned (too late, unfortunately)is that people don't really change. The little thing that bugs you about that spouse, SO or GF may seem insignificant at the outset of a relationship but could become a huge factor down the road. It's never an easy decision but I don't think there is a good "in-general" answer to your question.

while I truly believe that most things are possible... I do know that some things do come undone.... and cannot be fixed.  only you can evaluate just how broken the thing is.  If serious attempts to talk are taken seriously, then you may be able to repair....  but if they are rebuffed!  You have to take that as a sign that it is not to be repaired or patched.  What you may be able to do, over time, is build a totally different type of relationship.  but even that may be difficult....

luck to you!  as I faced that about 4-5 years ago....  

upon WHY the relationship is broken.  You can't fix someone's personality.  If you are with someone who is anal-retentive, lazy, sloppy, high-maitenance,or an alcoholic/drug addict...well, sweetie, you can't fix personalities.  It is who they are.  Hot times in bed won't fix the other part...the times you must spend together outside of bed.  If, however, the problems in the relationship stem around something like communication....well, those are fixable.  Only you can determine what the problems in the relationship are.  If the problems revolve around behavoir/personality problems...run away..don't waste your time.  People don't really change.  If it is just that you don't communicate well...sometimes that can be changed and little time invested could lead to a very good thing.  But just 'cuz she's hot...well stop thinking with the little head and start using the big one.  Someday she won't be so hot...gravity is a bitch, baby...and it catches up with all of us!  You must have more to base the relationship upon than just the physical part.

Just my .02.

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