1. A king-size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house
4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hairspray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong
enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint
can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long
way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit
by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already
too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year-old.
11. PlayDough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12. Super glue is forever
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't
walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show
they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not
like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. The mind of a 6-year old is wonderful. First grade....true story: One
day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three
Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where
the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for
his home.
She read, "...And so the pig went up to the man with the wheelbarrow
full of straw and said, 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that
straw to build my house?'" The teacher paused then asked the class,
"And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his
hand and said,
    "I think he said... 'Holy shit! A talking pig!'"! The teacher was
unable to teach for the next 10 MINUTES.

Reid you know....

Very cute, Brooke! Thanks for the fun diversion..

Sedona

-- Modified on 6/4/2003 5:08:01 PM

I would rather be in them!!!

I miss ya girl!! Looking forward to seeing you in Philly!


Kisses, Shaye

I laughed so hard I fell off my chair!  Nothing like a little cut and paste to share with friends. The funniest thing is that most of this I have lived through....

xoxo
Brooke

By the way, this was really about my brothers, my little one is an Angel!


-- Modified on 6/4/2003 2:46:00 PM

Reid you know....

A few more items I learned when I saw small.

19. Anywhere you hit your sister was already sore before you hit it.
20. Do not put aluminum paint in the gas tank of the lawnmower, it plugs it up.
21. Sugar and ammonium nitrate make a dandy rocket fuel.
22. Burying Mom's good jewelry in the back yard while playing Pirate and then forgetting where you dug the hole creates a real disturbance.
23. When flushing the cat in the toilet, put the lid down or the cat tracks water all over the house.
24. When firing Dad's pistol in the house, aim up.

Reid you know....

Well, i can vouch for the cat in the spin cycle, but i'm having a hard time with the waterbed.........hummmmmm......where'd i put that knife........

I rarely laugh at written comic material, but this was just superb.  I have 3 girls, and thank God for the experiences that I've missed after reading your post.  On the other hand, I'll trade my 17 year old ....

Thank the Gods that be for my girl-child. Little boys scare me...*giggles*

Reid you know....

Two more I remembered:
25. If you combine all of Mom's spices in order to aid efficiency in cooking, do not expect any thanks.
26. While paper clips fit nicely into electrical wall sockets, do not hold them in your bare hand while doing so.

Brooke - I don't think we are kin, but daddy was a rolling stone.

Reid you know....

When in Rome...

27.  The "bouncing" in "bouncing baby boy" probably doesn't have the same meaning as it does, say, for a basketball.
28.  Cough medicine can also double as a pacifier.
29.  Fish cannot swim in 7-Up, or at least not for very long.

would have to be;

Hide the straigt pins, q-tips, and drinking straws, unless you want to be shot with home made dart guns coming home from school.

Yes, I lived this life. I am amazed that I have survived to be quite honest!

Now growing up with younger brothers and being the only girl is why I am considered a rather prissy tomboy. I also suppose that is why my Grandfather and my Daddy call me Princess.
I will save that story for Father's day.

Glad you enjoyed a little look into my insanity growing up.  Actually, I won't lie, she has a whole list of things for me I DIDN'T share....tee hee hee