I've been considering escorts as a solution to my sexless marriage arrangement.  I'm on a married with children (who want money for college) budget and timeline.

I was wondering a couple of things about escorts.  When they advertise an amount for time and companionship, is that the final price?  Or is it like buying a car where the salesman keeps adding extra hidden costs onto the final tab?

Are they pretty good, in general, at pretending to enjoy my company and be interested in me during the time I've paid them for?

Is it pretty easy to meet with them somewhere for a drink before heading back to their place, or mine (on the clock of course)?

Although money is for time and companionship, is a sexual ending to the evening a fairly reasonable and dependable expectation?

I don't want to just get laid, I would like to take the edge off the relationship loneliness for an hour or two now and then.

Am I on the right track with escorts as a solution?

Wow- lot of questions!  You might want to post on the newbie FAQ board.  I'm pretty new to the "hobby" and in similar situation to you- sexless marriage, children in college or private school, and limited time.  

I'll take your last question first as I am still considering that on myself after seeing five providers.  The other questions, I'll let some of the other more experienced members address.

Are you on the right track--- you won't know until you've tried it several times and will struggle with it the first two times or so.  It is a solution to sex, not the greatest solution to loneliness.  I've discovered as all new hobbiests must discover the "provider/hobbiest boundary" as I call it. After your session, you can not really have any ongoing contact with your provider other than emails or calls to schedule again, except for occasional light banter on the discussion boards. For obvious reasons, the provider is not your girlfriend after your first session and will not encourage ongoing contact other than scheduling another session.  It was hard for me initially to have a very intimate encounter, particularly with the couple favorites who provide a very GFE fantasy experience- then leave and not be close after.  

Also on the "are you on the right track"- it will not cure you, solve any of life's problems, and can get you in trouble if you aren't very careful about covering all the safety bases (either legal or divorce).  Therefore you have to have your head on straight from the get go or very soon after.  You've got to be able to accept that you are indulging in a fantasy for physical pleasure only, be able to accept that, and be able to accept the risks, and be willing to do your homework on how to do it safely very well in advance of starting.

If you do all that well, you'll enjoy very much and will gain some side benefits.  The benefits for me so far-- increased confidence, I'm treating my wife better because I am happier (not to discount or ignore the fact that I am also doing that to lessen her suspicion), and I am enjoying the whole excitement and intrique of being a newbie in this!  Hope that helps!

Hi Marty and welcome to TER.
I can try and answer your questions to the best of MY ability, but they are just my honest opinions.
---What we advertise is 99.9% of the time FINAL!
-no bartering, no I'll fix your car if you do this, don't even try it, or they will be showing you the door.
---Having had no experience with any of the other ladies, I have only my experience to go on. I really ENJOY what I do, the kissing, the cuddling, the touching. See my reviews as proof of that.
---Some will meet for a drink, while others will have drinks in their rooms. I personally don't like meeting outside of the hotel room. If you want drinks, bring them, or sometimes we can supply it also. (always on the clock)
---Most of the websights you view speak for themselves. All you need to do is book your time to spend with the ladies (1,2,3 hours etc).
--- a GFE is deffinately what your needing then. We specialize in making you feel like your the center of our worlds. (oops...I mean me) I like to touch, to glide my fingers along your cheek, while listening to you talk. Then again...everyone is different and describes a GFE differently. (GFE-girl friend experience) Anyway...Im in a talkative mood tonight, and should be in bed. hehehe
Hope this helps
xoxo
~DI~

someone about your age with whom you share common cultural references.

I have found such women to be charming and quite capable of carrying on conversations whether about interpersonal relationships or politics or cultural events.

I find a blend of sexual activities and good conversation just the thing to pick me up.

You should pay to get the VIP membership on TER and read reviews extensively.  That is you best bet to know what to expect from any particular provider.

As others have said, hiring an escort is a pretty straightforward arrangement, if you hire a reputable one.  How do you know she's reputable?  By checking her reviews.

Here's my take on your questions.

"When they advertise an amount for time and companionship, is that the final price?  Or is it like buying a car..."  

Should be all inclusive for any reputable provider.  Extra charges, or "upsell", are a definite no-no and something that would certainly show up in a provider's review.

"Are they pretty good, in general, at pretending to enjoy my company and be interested in me during the time I've paid them for?"  

Of course, the answer to this is, the good ones are good at communication and friendly conversation.  But you knew that.  Here the quality of a provider's website, in addition to her reviews, are a good guide.  You can generally tell which are written by an agency, just to have the maximum marketing effect, and which are written by the escort herself, to show you a bit about her personality.

"Is it pretty easy to meet with them somewhere for a drink before heading back to their place, or mine (on the clock of course)?"  

Yes, although you should discuss this with an escort ahead of time, of course, just like a regular date.  Also, consider the risks.  I rarely do this and never would in my home city, because I might run into people I know.

"Although money is for time and companionship, is a sexual ending to the evening a fairly reasonable and dependable expectation?"

Yes.  That's why we are all here, after all.

"I don't want to just get laid, I would like to take the edge off the relationship loneliness for an hour or two now and then. Am I on the right track with escorts as a solution?"

Ultimately, the answer to this is probably no.  You are not going to have a relationship with any of these women.  You sound like someone who should look for an escort you are really comfortable with and then see her on a regular basis.  This way you can gradually build up a shared history and she will treat you differently than guys she sees once or twice.  You might even develop a kind of friendship, albeit one based on your money.  There are bartenders who are friendly with me as well, and with whom I discuss events in my life. But they wouldn't be so friendly if I didn't pay the bill and tip well.

In my view, hiring escorts is not a solution for loneliness.  There are definite limits to the connection you can make.  You always need to be prepared for your favorite escort to move on to other endeavors and stop seeing you.  This is a temporary arrangement.  Good luck.


filmat11






-- Modified on 10/29/2007 8:17:58 AM

Other gentlemen have expressed this well, so I won't be verbose.  I just started the hobby in Jan of this year.

Get you sex for "the price?"   Yes.
Get you some touching, cuddling?  Yes.
Cure your loneliness?  Absolutely No.

I'm in the same boat as you.   Love my wife...she's smart, pretty and the mother of my kid.   Sexual?  Nope, not at all.

Hiring an escort is the best way to handle this and you asked your question on the right site. Chat lines are another way to meet women who just want to have fun nsa sex and it will be free for the most part. But the women wont be as attractive as most escorts. Have fun and be careful.

Sample size of one, of course -

1) Escorts (and DIY) work great as a solution to *my* sexless marriage. I am like a kid, thinking about sex, acting upon it too .. I feel so much younger than I did 2 years ago, trudging through a sexless existence.

2) Yes, that is the final price, if you have a decent escort, that is a reputatable escort who has received good TER reviews.

3) They are VERY good at pretending to be interested in you, at least the reputatable escorts who get 7 or better on service scores.

4) I have never met with an escort for a drink, so I can't answer you there. The clock ticks mighty fast at several hundred dollars per hour!

5) Oh yes, you will get sex, each and every time.

There's nothing like the intimacy of being naked between the sheets, even if it is a paid and brief intimacy. Try it. I think you will like it.

Hmmm, it might be asking too obvious of a question but, in the long run, good couples sex therapy can be very helpful; have you tried that.

Escorts are great for scratching that itch.  The ones I have experienced were friendly and hotter than I could get in real life at my age and condition.  But as nice and friendly as they are it is a business to them and you can never quite forget that, despite the Girl Friend Experience fantasy.  

I have flipped back and forth from escorts to extra marital affairs.  Believe it or not there are many married women who can't get their husbands to fuck them with any enthusiasm or regularity.  Many want to have affairs without getting divorced.  My discovery of this phenomenon was a eureka moment.  But sometimes, even if you find one in your area the emotional requirements for contact between encounters is higher than you want.  And the risk of discovery is probably a little greater than with escorts, though manageable.  On the other hand, if you are discovered with a married woman you are not likely to get an arrest record.  

If you are interested, google "extramarital affairs" and check out the sites.  You can search by geographical area.  Read the sites, which often have a blogging function as well as a matching function, to get a sense of what the lifestyle is like.  The trick is to find someone who has the same sensibilities as you have.  I've had luck with 3 ladies in that world, one lasted a couple of years, one is a f-buddy type (not as hot looking, but serviceable) and a current one is terrific, but we live 800 miles apart.  

My current lover is 15 years my junior, is pretty, just a little chunky (maybe 20-30lbs overweight) and will screw me over and over for three hours at  a time for the cost of a hotel room.  PLus we can talk about our lives and care about each other without wanting or needing to dump our spouses for each other.

Alright everyone, thanks for the most excellent answers!

Great thoughts for me to ponder as I consider the potential of this path.

Never considered the hobby as a replacement for a genuine gfe, but an hour or two now and then of intimate human contact just seems like a win win situation.

And I think I'll spend the same on a provider as I would on multiple attempts to get lucky.

Thanks!