personally I do find this hobby to be addictive..but even though I've had many..many different women over a 15 yr span..I do not consider myself a sex addict..I could be kidding myself..but my interpretation of a sex addict is someone that needs sex on a daily basis..sort of the way a drug addict would need his/her fix on a daily basis..If this were the case I'd certainly be in the poor house..True..I can not stay away from those gorgeous..hot..sexy providers..but I can limit myself to one every week or two..call it a partial addiction?..but we only go around once..so might as well ENJOY!

Of course it is, anytime you pay for sex like that for that long it is an addiction. You see I started out with porn and then graduated to the hobby. Same with me. But alot more enjoyable than looking at Porn.

I friend of mine (a woman, actually) considered herself a sex addict.  She described needing to feel desirable, to feel the high of sex as much as possible in order to feel OK about herself.  I think it is all a matter of degrees. We all need to feel we are sexually desirable to at least somebody, hopefully the same person we want as a partner.  But the addiction part of the equation in my opinion, is based on how much of your self-esteem comes from that.  A simple test... could you go a few months without sex (with another person), and still feel more or less OK?  Many people already do live without great sex because they are in a boring relationship, or no relationship, but sooner or later they get back with someone who clicks with them.  If you are addicted to sex, you don't wait to find the person who "clicks" with you.  You just fuck whoever is willing, because you are miserable or panicky without it.  Again, this all my opinion.

Yes there are addictive aspects. When there are beautiful women available that are so very responsive and treat you with such care it is hard to stay away for any long time when you do not have that same pleasure available at home. Given unlimited funds, I would likely set up something weekly. I would repeat with the favorites, but I find it very exciting to explore new fields (after doing ample research) also. I'm getting up there in years and I guess I just feel I had better "use it while I still have it".
I am fortunate to live in Portland where we have a number of GFE's (Angelique, Madison, Felicity, just to name a few).

When I think of an addiction what comes to mind is not being able to stop, even though you have other obligations. Well for example needing to pay your rent, car etc. knowing you do not have enough to take care of the important things you find money weather you have to steel it just to get the fix( in this case the sex).
my opinion
Mara

I doubt there any hobbyists who would be considered sex addicts.  To be a sex addict to me would imply the uncontrollable urge to have sex, anyway you can.  I doubt a sex addict would have the money or patience to see providers.  Have you heard of anyone robbing a store so they could pay for sex?

I think sex addicts would be the ones always on the porn sites, cheating on their wives, and picking up cheap street girls.  I think hobbyists are just guys who have a healthy thirst for sex.

Just my biased opinion as a fellow hobbyist.

I think we can become addicted to anything, ANYTHING.
I have been addicted to many things over the years from my brand of Gin, "marching powder" , to reruns of M.A.S.H.
Nothing wrong with an addiction per se, just sometimes the results get in the way of life.
I have been in this hobby since 1974 and don't feel I am addicted.  I have never hobbied while in a committed relationship (until now, where she expects me to hobby!)
and I use that as my basis to determine whether I am addicted or not.
My 2½¢
Lustman

Just as long as it does not kill ya.

I don't believe that asking yourself, "could you go a few months without sex (with another person), and still feel more or less OK?" is a very reliable self-test for addiction.

First, there aren't many addicts (cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, whatever) who would answer that question in the negative.  Everyone believes that they're in control of their own lives.  People aren't very analytical about themselves.  How about these questions?

Is the hobby interfering with other priorities in my life?  Career?  SO?  Time away from home and family?

What am I risking?  Divorce?  Financial upheaval?  Humiliation of exposure?  Health?

Is it truly satisfying (beyond the encounter itself)?

Am I spending more than I can afford?

Who am I lying to in order to protect myself?  Will that take a toll?

If a hobbyist doesn’t have comfortable responses to these questions, he probably should not rule out the possibility of compulsive or self-destructive tendencies.  I'm not preaching.  I'm asking these questions of myself as well.  I just believe that one shouldn’t let oneself off the hook too easily.

The question is can you funtion without it.  I like to race Hi performance karts and would love to do it every day, but if I don't do it I can still do my every day activities (which includes seeing providers). But when seeing providers, doing drugs, drinking, eating, smoking or anything else you might like doing gets in the way of your normal(?)/ everyday activities then you might want to reconsider what you are doing. Until then, Have fun.

I was really talking about "free" sex in my entire analysis, not the hobby.

They say...The Best Things In life Are Free...
But You Can Give Them To The Birds And The Bees..
Dont Worry
Be Happy...

Call me a sex addict, call me a whore monger, call me irresponsible,just don't call me late for dinner.  Or sex.

No humans or other animals were hurt in posting this message.

Somebody needs to develop a patch that will be like the old classic movie "Clockwork ....." or was that the name of the movie where the oversexed guy would violently throw up if he saw anything with sex in it.  Is there a market for this yet?

We are not said to be addicted to food. Yet if we quit food, we die.

Still there are those who eat for reasons other than the preservation of life. In fact we all eat for enjoyment, beyond sustenance. I think those who don't enjoy food have a disorder as well as those who eat in order to feel loved, or some other craziness.

Every individual has a different need for food, both in sustenance and enjoyment. Every individual has a different tolerance for different types and degrees of food. Some people's metabolism can burn huge quantities of food and use it all as energy, without adverse consequences.

Others can take only small amounts and suffer from weight-gain, and other health problems. Our need and tolerance for food is so individual that it cannot be quantified.

Those who think they have a food addiction, and starve themselves as a solution, have as much of a problem as those who overindulge to their own detriment.

Because you eat does not mean you're addicted. But there is an infinitely thin line that is measured by single M&M. Once you cross that line, you have to go back several Big Macs to regain control. But it doesn't mean you can completely eliminate your bread and butter.

"The disease of addiction is defined as a genetic/biological disorder in which there is progressive use or preoccupation with a substance in the face of at-risk consequences. Another component of the definition is denial."

It's the "At-risk Consequences", "progressive use" and "denial" that is at the crux of an addiction definition.

At risk consequences are the threat of divorce or loss of a body part if discovered.

Progressive use, would mean you used to do visit a provider once every other month and now you're twice a week.

Denial... we deny to others that we do it, but within this forum, there's no denial. So your TER membership might be a sign you're not addicted!

There's no element of intensity... if you even exhibit the tiniest  portion of these, you may be addicted. It seems to me that if you don't have all three... you're not addicted.


signed,
the addicted packetinspector

If I were a hobby-sex addict, I would be depleting my savings, stealing, doing whatever it took to feed my craving. That is not the case. I just save a little here and there so my wife doesn't notice. Then when I have at least $400 cash in hand, I do some serious searching for the next encounter. However, if you are "limiting" yourself to every week or two, I'd say you got a bit of an addiction. Or, your are rich!

But I would have to say Mr. Johnston looks pretty sad all locked up!
CI

You know, they give previous sex offenders Depo Provera in some states to lessen their sex drive.  Not a patch, but a shot, I just thought that was an interesting tidbit.

Actually, I think it is addictive. I think I am addicted. I have quite a lot of money and opportunity and use it at least once a week.  I am a busy person so I am enjoying the hobby at the expense of something else.  I see repeats and am constantly searching for new experiences as well.  For me it is about more than just sex because I have been in the hobby since I was quite young and the same quality was available on the outside for free.  This is just me.  I'm sure lots of people can and do partake of the hobby in reasonably-sized doses.

Piss with that contraption on?

for most complete and honest response.

The one thing I would add would be how does the hobby makes you feel as a person?  If it is something to relieve low self esteme or makes you feel dishonest/lack of integrity or distances you in other relationships, then that is a big red flag.

Now wait just a darn minute.

Ramses II of the Egyptian New Kingdom had approximately 100 sons and daughters, and constructed the largest mausoleum in the Valley of the Kings for his sons. Ramses II is also called Ramses the Great, although most probably think this refers to his building projects (e.g., Abu Simbel). Hobbyists here, though, recognize that the "Great" truly refers to his prodigous sex-drive.

Would anyone say that Ramses was a sex-addict? Yet, if he were alive, he'd probably be on this board and his stories would exceed those of retired (and unnamed) hobbyists.

So which is it? Ramses "The Great" or Ramses "The Sexaholic". It's all in your point of view.

-- Modified on 9/12/2002 9:45:49 AM