No you ask that question when you are looking for places for your father to live. The question is will your father have an intuitive understanding of the phrase" a holistic level of care" when inquiring about certain facilities. Also does the phrase have connotative and denotative meanings for the purposes of our conversation.
Seeing them for years with their health and ability failing the time is coming for them to think about this. One gentleman point blank told me he didn't want to leave his home for fear our visits would end. I wonder as a whole how long term care facilities would handle such things if they knew a gentlemen was entertaining an escort in his room. I volunteer at one a few times a week for many years and have found them very accommodating for married couples and their privacy is respected but for a single older gentlemen I don't know. If the lady visited and didn't look the part how would they know if the door is closed. The rule is to always knock before you enter a room.
Back when I was in high school, a gal I was friendly with volunteered at a local nursing home and told me she was offered $10-20 (1970 dollars) by guys there to give them a hand job - which freaked her out so much she stopped volunteering.
I have to believe some volunteers sucumbed to the temptation.
They always rub my leg and I laugh and say " that will cost you". They smile and in goes another spoon of food. Most of the gentlemen clean their plates for me. Other volunteers and aids don't handle it the way I do. They always give me the ones who spit their food out. May I say, once I let them rub my leg no spitting goes on.
I hope it doesn't knock on your front door either.
My mom couldn't walk and at best was able to help shift her weight from the wheelchair to the dinning room chair. Many times it was safer to leave her in the wheelchair than take chances by myself. In the dinning room where 3 settings for her table mates and utensils depended on who was sitting there. Every day was a challenge. Some residents played with the utensils and tried to use them while others didn't like the feel of food in their mouth never mind trying to feed themselves. They forget how to swallow or chew. Every week you were retraining someone so you wouldn't need to surgically place a feeding tube.
My mom wore lipstick every day. She scooted her chair in front of the large mirror I hung for her, pulled the top of the tube of her lipstick off, slowly twisted it up and put it on. She returned by twisting it back and placed the cap back on. She blotted with a clean tissue and tossed it in the little waste basket I put by her little table. She did this 30 to 80 times a day yet she could not feed herself for over 2 years.
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