I was subjected to a form of 'upselling' today that I thought was quite amusing.

These guys, uncle and nephew, have been coming to do up my backyard. Basically it's been a place where my dogs shit when I don't take them out to shit on the grounds around here, and where I BBQ and hang out on the patio listening to tunes drinking my face off.

Anyway, mom got them here, and when they ask for money if I don't have the cash onhand she pays them. STFU! She's a nice lady. She'd feed your ass full of enchiladas y frijoles knowing Goddam well you're a bunch of mongers!

So, Simon(See-mone) tells her it would cost $100 an hour for a plumber to dig up my yard and do the plumbing for the sprinklers for all the planters and shit. She looked at me, because I knew half of the conversation since it was Spanish and I winked. They made an agreement weeks ago about the labor costs, and he looked at me. He knew I wasn't going for the 'upselling' shit.

She made him an offer of $80 for him and his nephew's work(3 hours), plus materials, and he took it.

In a sense, I was insulted that he tried to get more money out of mi madre. But he tried, and I'll give him that.

So, if a lady tried that with me, after we already made an arrangement, I'm sure where you can guess where THAT conversation would go!

Not saying I'm cheap, like so many other posters have tried to avoid with their lame-ass excuses as to why for this or that. But a deal's a deal.

Tell me I'm wrong?

Well not really, but you asked. lmao

You really can't blame the guy for taking a shot, it would have been you own fault if you had caved.

I had some asshole try the same kind of shit with me over some oil properties this weekend. The dollar amounts were a bit larger, but same principle. He tried yelling, threatening to sue, griping about everything I had done over the last two years. You name it and he tried it. At the end of about two hours of "negotiating" I told him he could either take a swing at me, sue me, or take my offer. He didn't say a word for almost five minutes, then accepted the inevitable and took my offer. lol

Winning so beats the shit out of losing. rofl

It's the principle of the matter.

Granted, I can understand that many would think I don't have any, they'd be fucking WRONG!!!

I think you know, I don't cave. But I do admit when I'm wrong. I'm fucking human, just like anybody else.

So, long story short. Ladies and gents. Get your shit straight beforehand, live up to it, and there shouldn't be any problems.

Es verdad?!

That's what I pay the association fee for every quarter!

Shit! Those fucking bastards get away with all sorts of shit! Figuratively and literally!

I insist on an accounting when they send me a bill. Just to bust their chops!

Bust my balls for 3" high weeds in the front, and I walk by ones 2' high when I walk the boys! WTF?!!!

BP, don't know where you're going with this, but I have few buttons. One, is services rendered when paid for.

Can you dig it?!

I don't know about you but I call my balls boys.

...pick up after their dogs, some don't and some even pick up after other people's dogs.

Some people carry plastic bags but won't pick up unless they're being watched.

It says something about a person that won't clean up their dogs shit but leave it for others, regardless of association fees.  Please don't read this when you're drunk.

both you and Simon are taking advantage of your mother. Simon, by trying to upsell her, and you for having her pay them after you've spent your money on "wine, women, and song." Not particularly making a judgment here. Just telling you why I can't really get into your righteous indignation

Yes, when I'm with a lady, I'll refer to my balls as 'the boys'.

But when I say I'm taking my dogs for a walk, doesn't mean I walk around the neighborhood with no pants on for all the MILFs to see my balls.

Actually, that ain't a half bad idea!

Thanks, Kleenex-dude!

But to tell the truth, I don't let them shit in other people's yards.

I'll walk them in the street, or wait till we get to a mesa or an arroyo.

I don't appreciate other people's dogshit in my yard, either.

I just didn't have any cash onhand at the moment.

It was her idea. I can give a fuck.

But when they say they need to go to Home Depot for this many blocks, or this much tubing, I'll say how much you need. Just not today.

Can you, in your infinite wisdom and 'righteous indignation' understand this, Matt?

"I just didn't have any cash onhand at the moment."

Would you care to amplify what exactly it is you're trying to get at?

I'm fucking sitting here. And obviously you have a problem with me. Maybe the relationship I have with my mother?

If you don't have a mother, I'm sorry. I'm her jito. Meaning I'm her 'little boy' even though I'm 43 years old. Always will be.

She's retired, my sister and I didn't give her any grandchildren, so she has no one to spend resources on than my sister and I.

She's a wonderful lady, an amazing cook, everybody loves going to her house for Xmas, and she spoils my cousins' kids with presents.

So, I don't get where YOU'RE getting at?

The fact that I didn't know for sure these guys were coming to work on my yard so I could've had money for them if they needed it?  

Like when I know for sure when I'm going to see a lady and I'd have the donation at the ready?

WTF are you trying to say, dude?

Sometimes I think you're just trying to rattle my cage. And in this aspect, oh yeah! You accomplished it!

Fuck you, Matt!

What I meant was, it seemed from what you said about not having the money on hand at the time, you had intended to pay your mother back when you did. From what you originally posted, it sounded like you might be letting her foot the bill, period.

No popcorn here.....

Truth be told Dog shit is not very high on my list of "shit that is important".

I travel too much to do my own yard, so it really ends up being someone else's problem

I mean, with all your travels, and the pursuit of pussy, and such?!

I promise you, I'd track your ass down and kick it for you, but of course you didn't say it to me. lmao

You two feel free to carry on, I will be more than happy to enjoy the show.

as you so accurately put it "all my travels and the pursuit of pussy", it doesn't leave time to care for a goldfish, much less a dog.

I guess I'll go back to the Yankees/Red Sox game, or the boring ass pre season football.

You live in the desert, right?

So why the hell are you installing a sprinkler systems. Are you trying to cause a drought?

Don't get me started on the run-off from the Evap-cooler on my roof!

Dear MP67:
Considering that we are both aficionados of the hobby and understand the finer points of negotiation, this is a case of where game recognizes game. However one is always able to put word out on a provider's reputation and it doesn't take much to sully her credibility in the industry. Henceforth the moral of the story is that the pen is mightier than the sword and the hobbyist will always laugh hardest and the best.

Dear MP67:
Exactly she was putting shit in the game with respect to the stipulations of the previous deal in Midstream. Henceforth changing the stipulations of the deal instead of abiding by the original agreement.  With respect to the terminology what you where saying that the jargon for the hobby and the business was similar however the integrity of the people involved weren't. Henceforth that is what got you perturbed about the deal in the first place.

I'm not talking any shit about a provider. Just saying a deal's a deal, no matter what situation. Just so happens the 'terminology' that is used in the hobby was condusive to this particular situation.

Pull your head outta your ass. Fuck.

Swear to God. And people give me shit for being a drunk?