1. The difference between the Pope & a boss is that the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.

2. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.

3. Americans must be getting physically stronger with each generation.  Thirty years ago it took two adults to carry $10 worth of groceries.  Today a 5yr old can do it.

4. Why is a government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing pin?  Neither will work & neither can be fired.  (OK, no flames here from those of you who are so employed...it's a joke!!)

5. A guy visits his doctor & comes away feeling very depressed.  Seems the doctor refused to write him a prescription for Viagra...said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building.