So much for your Freud. He'd probably consider you having a Napoleon Complex, since you feel such a need to get others in line with your way of thinking and doing things.

I usually read it quite differently. Just, the guy feels somewhat a personal attachment with the lady, or a since of gratitude that she did come across as just going through the motions. I never, never read it as someone thinking that I would be anything other than respectful to her. Now, Freud would be quite curious as to why you would feel that way.

I agree, and that's the way I interpret it too...eom

offered.

      When I read the “treat her well” closing, I usually infer that the lady has made a real enough connection with the reviewer that he cares enough genuinely to wish for her well being in the future. In some ways, it is higher praise than “I forgot it was a service,” or the usual list of her more explicit sexual accomplishments.

      You can also be sure that a “treat her well” reviewer is talking from the heart because that kind of request is not required by review guidelines nor does it insure to the benefit of the reviewer in any way.

      So “treat her well” really goes beyond the rather obvious literal choices that you seem to focus upon.  And aside from all of this, “treat her well” may be a worthwhile reminder to the anti-mangina crowd that delights in populating this Board.

I've never been able to put my finger on why that phrase bothered me in reviews until I read these two sentences from your post.

"I consider it a sign of attempted dominance. The reviewer is claiming the power to be a gatekeeper regarding this woman. He is marking her as his property to some extent - granting others permission to see her, but only if they behave according to his standards."

You're absolutely right on.  Hey, I actually learned something today on TER!

That's the biggest decision I have to make before I hook up! I spend hours pacing the floor, asking myself; even though she's just an escort, should I treat her like a regular human, or spit and throw rotten tomatos at her? Give her a hug, or kick her in the knee cap?

It really helps when they tell me to treat her well, cuz I hate when I have to use my brain to think about stuff, and stuff.

at least do so with one of your pet theories, like the Oedipus Complex. In that case it's quite evident that he is relinquishing his allusion to being able to solely possess her because the big daddy, his phantasy of all her numerous johns, are all to powerful for him to keep her from them. This relinquishing of his allusion is a healthy step, and signifies that he probably no longer wets the bed, since he no longer has to fear the wrath of big daddy in his phantasies and dreams.

I vas so loogin fahwid to heerin mahr of zit.

Puh-leeze. Must you end your review with “treat her well”? It’s not as if I was planning on being a jerk, but now, thanks to your admonition, will reconsider. I am in the habit of treating all people well — last time I checked, “all people” included providers — no reminder required, thank you very much.

As for those who treat people ill, your admonition is not likely to make them mend their ways.

To play Freud for a moment, I suspect that when you say “treat her well,” what you are doing is engaging in a bit of chivalry-fantasy, wherein you fancy yourself the lady in question’s quasi-protector. You are welcome to your fantasy, but please don’t inflict it on the rest of us.

'treat her like a slut', 'treat her like a prostitute', 'treat her like the whore that she is'...

Unfortunately that sentiment still exists in this society, even though the modern hobby community has for the most part cast that archaic mysogenistic idea aside.

The "treat her well" phrase has been around since before internet review sights became popular, and could be used as a mentoring tip from a more "experienced" man to make sure that a newcomer --who had no idea HOW to treat a prostitute-- didn't misbehave thinking that was what the woman expected.

Those ideas are still used in sex play by couples. The wife want her husband to "treat her like a whore" in bed. Again, a hold over from the puritanical idea that a proper women don't crave and initiate not steamy sex, only whores do.

From my experience only, the ladies I have had the pleasure of seeing, have felt many regular "hobbyists" are past those repressive ideas. But there are still plenty of assholes out there.

I would be interested what any of the ladies on TER thought of this issue..


HalfHour

If you are aware of the decorum on these discussion boards, I think it is understandable why some might say "treat her well" in their reviews.  But your analysis is otherwise spot on.

If you think you are a jerk, you are definitely setting the bar high for jerks here.

be sure and fuck her in the ass. Live and learn!

I totally agree along with " she had at least (fill in the blank)" orgasms.

As far as things to complain about in a review, this would be pretty low on the totem.  Besides, what's wrong with a guy displaying a bit of chivalry?  Be it fantasy or genuine sentiment, I don't see the downside.

To the OP: Just look at it as any other benign social pleasantry like "Good morning" or "Have a nice day" and move on from there.

I consider it a sign of attempted dominance. The reviewer is claiming the power to be a gatekeeper regarding this woman. He is marking her as his property to some extent - granting others permission to see her, but only if they behave according to his standards. It is also a competitive statement. "I beat you to her. So there!" All these signs clearly suggest that the reviewer suffers from overwhelming feelings of inadequacy, and he is probably a bed-wetter.

Love this one, too, Siggie.  "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

My favorite quote from Freud.

OTOH, he said some remarkably wrongheaded things too.  

The best way to understand and appreciate Freud is to see his ideas as a reaction to the unbelievably repressive atmosphere of the Victorian era.

...so the top of the Services scoring would read:

7 - Hot time
8 - Went the extra mile
9 - Forgot it was a service
10 - Treat her well

Ach du lieber! Iz dat really you, Ahnold?

I always thought that TER put that in. The reviews are a joke to me as they don't get passed if it isn't worded a certain way which ends up all sounding the same!

But your post is cute and on the money!!!!  I know for a fact that guys have to put stuff that they didn't do just to get the darn review past!

That's a fake review.... Maybe we need a fakerReviewFinder

That's Hot!

well the first sentence anyway.

Fun! Nasty fun!


HalfHour

HAHAH! Best!

Modern chivalry is not directed toward the world as a display of possession or protection; it is directed toward the woman as a sign of attention and respect.  If you're only "chivalrous" when you want to demonstrate possession or protection, then that is selfish and not true chivalry.  I don't think most people mean it that way.

I assume most providers read their own reviews, so I would normally assume that such "treat her well" statements in reviews are an indirect communication to the provider, to make her feel good.  I don't see anything wrong with that.

Do you get angry when you're standing in the elevator, and another man holds the door open for an approaching lady?  His chivalry is not meant to imply that you would not have been chivalrous yourself, had you been in his shoes.  It's for her.