From both client and provider side, what is general feeling about showing an ID on initial session?  This came up on the newbie board, but deserves some feedback in general... there are a lot of clients who feel just as compromised showing ID as there are providers who need it for comfort level.

I've shown ID, first couple of times, I was concerned... paranoid might be a better word... figured I'd wind up in some database of hobbiests... then realized, the ladies only take a quick look... never write anything down, certainly don't take a picture with their cell phone... I know providers are smarter than us... after all always make money our deals ... but unless they are WAY smarter than I am, there's no way they remember anything from a quick look at the ID, be it drivers license, business care or whatever...

In regards to asking for a driver's license or some other ID to make sure a guy is not LE
This a common fallacy or misconception that cops/LE don't have access to make up fake ID's and so they must show their real driver's license.

The same line of thinking is when a girl asks a guy if he's a cop, once again the popular misconception is that if he lies and is LE, that is entrapment.

Another popular misconception is that cops/LE can't get naked.
Wrong!
Depending on the city and state, cops can get naked with a girl and then bust her.

If the requirement to show ID is for some backup in case the guy is a rip off, then there's some re-course.
But if the guy is an axe murderer, well, if you copied down the info and it's found near the corpse, the Homicide squad has a good lead to find the Perp.

It's also a common misconception that if a guy sends all his personal info to an escort, ALL of the girls who require this, will destroy the info after the session.
I know most girls do but not all of them...
AND if one of these girls should get busted, well you know what happens next.

RH

yes, I am divorced for 17 yrs. (thank you very much). However, even if I were married I don't see what the big deal is.

So the ID and move on into the juicy details. Have you ever read in the reviews "we clicked" or "guess we just did not click"?

This is a certain way of not clicking if you refuse to show and ID. This should have all been part of the dicusssions prior anyway, that she was going to ask for it. For those who just absolutely are not going to show and ID then that is you chance to move on.

Personally, my feeling is that this policy follows with other policies the lady may have in place. e.g. she asks for your real name, office phone number etc. and maybe some references. Now when she asks to see ID at the session, it is only a check against the real name you already provided. Chances are you have a "click" session. It only takes a second to check it and hand it back. No biggie.

Now, if she reaches for her cell phone to take a pic of it, or excuses herself to the bathroom with ID in hand it is time to bolt. lol This has never happened to me with easily over 100 providers.

is that LE won't sexually harass women.  A few girls think they can just ask a guy to feel them up and he won't be LE.  

They sexually harass women all the time because they can.  They slapped my lady friend on the ass while searching her but didn't have enough to arrest her.  What is she going to do, report them?  And somehow explain what she was doing there in a thin dress with no panties and a purse full of condoms, lube, and cash?

I have to agree with Smarty1101:

Personally, my feeling is that this policy follows with other policies the lady may have in place. e.g. she asks for your real name, office phone number etc. and maybe some references. Now when she asks to see ID at the session, it is only a check against the real name you already provided..

This is very well the truth to it..It is peace of mind. I only ask to see the ID if it is my first meeting with the Gentleman.

Asian Dove

...it isn't for protection from LE.  It's meant to verify your name in case she disappears, there would be evidence somewhere of the client she was seeing.  

Yes, identities can be stolen or faked, and so can ID's.  It does add an extra layer of expertise required on the part of the criminal though, and  if she does other background checks, one would hope she knows how to recognize something fishy.  

Problem is, the client has to trust that she will destroy or at least not abuse the information.  If she asks for information he's not comfortable giving her, he should move on.

The hobbyist has no previous provider experience and he does not have a an out-of-state work number where a receptionist answers with the company's name then transfers me to him. How do I know he's safe? However, more importantly for me: How do I know he's not LE? Anyone could be a cop transferring into another city (although highly unlikely that he'd be asked to do a sting so quickly). Anyone can have a long-distance cell number. If someone is from out of state and can show me his I.D. and give me a work number (which I'm very discreet about calling), then I might take the chance with outcall but without much information it's highly unlikely.

Hugs,
Ciara

Thank you for your post. This is exactly right on, for me anyways. I like to know who I am meeting, simple as that.  

I agree it's important to be up front about what info we require as not to waste anyone's time. Checking ID is a way of following up on the info we've been presented with. Nothing is foolproof or perfect.

Sara

There will never be concensus on showing ID, or any other aspect of the screening process. Everyone must do what they feel they must do to protect themselves, and should never do anything other, gents and ladies alike.

However, since you ask...
Read carefully.

"Polly wants a cracker. Think I should get off her first. I think she wants some water. To put out the blow torch. It isn't me.  (Chorus) We have some seed. Let me clip. Your dirty wings. Let me take ride. Don't hurt yourself. I want some help. To help myself. I've got some rope. You have been told. I promise you. I have been true. Let me take a ride. Don't hurt yourself. I want some help. To help myself. Polly wants a cracker. Maybe she would like more food. She asks me to untie her. A chase would be nice for a few. (Chours)...
Polly says her back hurts. And she's just as bored as me.  She caugh me off my guard. It amazes me, the will of instinct."

I went to junior high school with the girl this song was written about.  We shared the same social circle.  We had some classes together.  I was at that same concert.  I walked home instead of hitchhiking.  BTW, at least one poster on the link below has it right.  It's a true and horrific story, and her name was NOT Polly.

My view?
I won't invite you into my personal space unless we either have mutual friends who assure me that you are a "good guy" OR I know exactly who you are.  ID is just one little piece of it all... and I don't give a damned if you feel compromised about it.  Simply see someone else, thank you.




-- Modified on 9/7/2006 6:27:30 PM

Smarty, if the lady tries to take my ID into the bathroom, I'm outa there WITH the ID in hand.

Wait, did I just say that out loud?

It has no address and no number (like a driver's license does) that can aid idenity theft. Put a thumb over your birthdate and it has no Ientity-theft value.

It seems like all this discussion is about one side of the coin. How about the other side? How about the possibility of extortion, blackmail? Afterall, we are talking about money hungry people. And how about the black books that end up in the hands of LE? The promise of discretion really does not buy any reassurance. Does anyone have any info about these events, how often do they occur?

Many years ago, I was on the receiving end of an attempted extortion from a girl that was reviewed here on TER. She also tried to extort money from several of my friends. Fortunately she didn't have enough info from me otherwise I would have been in deep shit up to my eyebrows.
I escaped with just threats and and anguish for a while.
For this reason, I no longer show ID.
I've been here a while and have been able to use alternate ways to assure a girl I'm not the Night Stalker or Richard Ramirez.  
Shouldn't things be equal?
If a girl asks me to show my ID, I ask for hers too along with her address and home phone number. I already know the work number.
Fair play right?
I'm sure girls will argue differently.

Also many years ago, I was black listed by a TER escort here. She was unbalanced to say the least and I got dragged through the mud more than a few times. It was guilty until proven innocent.
Girls do stick together but I was still able to see other girls outside of the circle that read and avoided black listed guys.
I understood that it's better to be safe than sorry.
But in my instance, what happened was so fucking stupid of a misunderstanding, I still shake my head thinking about it.
Those girls who were once the inner circle clique here in Los Angeles have come and gone.

And fortunately for me, I'm still here and still going...

I'm sure a few of you are curious who these two girls were, the one that extorted me and the other one that had a melt down, both are reviewed by me a long time ago.

RH

Sure RockHard,

You set up a website with your photos and info about your personality, establish a good reputation over a period of time, and have links to dozens of ladies who will vouch for you that you are "ok"... and then perhaps we are on a level playing field.  
; )

While you say you've been around a while and can provide references, the field is still not flat.  And many gents over and above that cannot provide references... so then, HOW to level the playing field?  Those gents, could be anyone, no mutual friends can say they are ok, asking for my ID?!?  I'd tell them to go to get lost. Aside from that, I invite my friends into *my* space with outcall being a rarity.  A gent can simply do a bit of sleuthing on the property, take down my vehicle license number and trace that, or even follow me home.  They're the ones who have the one up to begin with and I'm standing there knowing nothing.  I'd say asking for an ID is more than reasonable in such a situation.

I'm sorry to hear about your negative experiences and understand that sometimes these things do come back to the guys and understand your concerns. Fortunately you were around long enough before to have enough friends in the biz (references) that you will rarely ever have to expose any personal information of yourself. I'm also happy to hear those ladies have gone from the scene.  Unfortunately it's a case of letting the bad apples ruin the barrel, and it runs both ways.

May all your future hobbying be safe, sane, and more fun than your wildest daydreams!

xoxo,
Sola

No, I think you are wrong about the fair-play analogy. This is a business, a market, a transaction. The playing field is leveled at the end when the fee is paid. That is what this is about and that is what closes the interaction and evens it up. The idea that the playing field should be somehow be even at the beginning, as if it's a man/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with no defined endpoint, makes no sense. The other comments (regarding the girls true name/address) were right on the money. The girls aren't forced to reveal their names/addresses, so why should we? Yes, there is inherent risk in this activity and I sympathize with providers. That is why a fee is paid. The fee is for taking the risk. This is why traditionally part of that fee has gone for "protection", and perhaps wise providers should still use part of the fee for some form of protection during work. If the fee is not high enough for the risk, then let the market decide what the right fee is. If the hobbyist is putting himself at risk by providing identity, then the fee should drop down. Again the market will set it for that service.

But the argument that there is some kind of a justification to create some kind of an artificial balance doesn't hold. Take whatever the risks/benefits are and sum it all up, and there is a fee that levels the field. It's as simple as that.

The fee is not for the risk.  If it were, we would be paid like pro-athletes who risk their bodies and have an inherrent short-term career, not like lawyers, who, btw can bill for work that OTHER PEOPLE do.  But this is not a rate discussion, so why try to make it one?

My only reason for even discussing "fair play" (because the field is NOT level and will NEVER be) was it was brought up by the previous poster.

With your views, I can assure you that you would end up repeatedly shorted, if not outright forcibly robbed, and that you would have "target" on your forehead for all those who abuse and prey sexually on women.

The fee does NOT even the score.  Not even close.

Perdators are looking for the ladies who don't care about their safety, and let the money do the talking.  All of us, no matter how careful we are, cannot escape the risk and will eventually get burned.  The ladies who make it easy, get hurt much more often...

"But the argument that there is some kind of a justification to create some kind of an artificial balance doesn't hold."

It does for me and it does for my many clients...

Just do what you are comfortable with, and let others do the same for themselves.