As you old fat guys and beautiful providers know I 'm a gym buff.....most of the men and women I meet at the gym are newly divorced or going through some sort of break up with their respective mate. These men and women run to the gym after they break up with their SO's/wife(s)/husbands. WTF? You didn't care about yourself when you were with your SO or wife/husband, now you want to get into shape so you can get a man or women. Makes NO fucking sense to me. You should workout, be well groomed, take care of yourself while you are with your SO/wife/husband....show some respect for yourself. Please comment........Don't tell me you don't have time....you have kids....have a career....bullshit, make time for yourself, show some self esteem, self dignity
more of a bad habit and before you know it both of you are out of shape..
It is easy to get stuck with bad meals because the kids are busy etc, then you sit and watch the usual TV shows, Go to bed and get up the next day and do it all over again...
You tend to take each other for granted and assume that this is the way life works..
Sad but true..
Couples stop communicating, Then there is the little shit that turns into resentments and then habit.. Marriage takes work and support and encouragement.. I seldom see a married couple who actually supports each other in a HEALTHY WAY.....
It's crazy right? I never understood it. When I get married I'll make sure I stay fit and live a healthy life style for me 1st, then my wife, and kids. Communication is the key and supporting each others jobs, likes, dislikes, and hobbies, etc. Life is too short to be unhappy
I don't think people get divorced or cheat because of the physical. My ex was and still is beautiful, but life happens, people change and resentment creeps in because you are with someone for 24 hours and you are bound to get pissed off with them because they are not perfect and neither are you.
If I ever get married again, we will live apart except for weekends. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
In fact I think it is the only way for a marriage to survive since we live in such a disposable world. I love my alone time. Not too sure how kids enter the equation but since I don't have any and don't want any, that is not a concern.
Thats NOT what I said !!! I never said people get divorced because of physical reason....READ THE POST !!!! Really?
You are far to hot to be single..............
Great points. That's why I think a LTR should first and foremost be based on a deep and unshakeable friendship. If you're fabulous friends and can make each other laugh, the physical is really less relevant; not to mention the fact that it is likely you'll both have similar interests, so staying healthy together would be natural if it is something you both enjoy. Above all, though, humor and friendship can see two people through all manner of thick and thin. Lol!
Then, they wonder why he/she does not want to fk them anymore.
London- You get it. That's what i was trying to convey. People get complacent and let everything go to shit.....I would NEVER do that and they then run to the gym, tanning beds, make overs when they break up....Why didn't you do all those things while you were with your mate? DUMB ASSES
I have been criticized for spending too much time on fitness pursuits and diet than on other recreational things. I had to find a happy balance because too much time can piss off people too.
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If fitness pursuits ARE your entertainment, then who are they te tell you how much time you should spend on them? Unless perhaps it's an SO who is feeling neglected? I can't se how anyone else would have the right to criticize your choices unless they are harmful to yourself or others
It was an SO and I was neglecting him a little. Oh I don't give a rats ass what friends think. Those that commented where in need of some exercise so I took it with a grain of salt.
You would be surprised how many people think it's okay to comment on what I eat (or don't eat) and the level of exercise I do and it is not all complimentary. They would be dumbfounded if I did the same to them regarding their choices. I would be classed as insensitive and rude.
And I am relieved to see my guess was correct that it was an SO feeling neglected and not just some busybody friends thinking it was ok to tell you how to live your life
Believe it or not, there are many who don't approve of my drinking, gambling, and whoring lifestyle as well. Go figure. Lol
There is a balance, but I would much rather know that about you going in, than have some person weigh 120 when we met and hit 220 in a few years.
I've always been thin. Until my 50's, I had a hard time even putting weight on despite my eating tons of food. I can still eat two or even three full restaurant dinners at one sitting.
My ex had a fabulous figure, but started gaining weight in her 20's. Part of that was metabolism, but alcohol intake and diet factored in as well.
My job was pretty physical, so I stayed in pretty good shape.
When we both quit smoking several years ago, we started going to the gym regularly. She never did what the trainers told her to do to lose weight. I kept up (still do) with going to the gym, but she quit going after a year. She got bigger and bigger. She'd actually make snide remarks when I checked nutrition values on food packages ("watching our girlish figure, are we?").
Her weight was always an issue, but she never tried. It really did a number on our marriage. I envy guys whose wives pay attention to their looks
And that would be one reason I would have a hard time remaining faithful to an SO if he was like that because of laziness and if he so much as dared make snide remarks, well he had better get a shit repellent umbrella because of the shit storm that would follow.
People need to care about themselves first ! Take pride in your body, appearance etc. WOW
The body is a shell without a personality. some of the hottest bodies I have seen belong to some of the most vacuous, self absorbed personalities I have ever met. And some of the nicest sexiest people don't have the magazine body. It is a careful balance of both.
Of course....I'm talking about it from a HEALTH perceptive !! Number one killer is USA is heart disease....I wonder why? 65% of americans are over weight !!! YES...those are true numbers
I don't think it ever works for someone to lose weight or be in shape for someone else. It has to be for himself or herself. In the case of my ex, there's a whole slew of psychological reasons why she gained weight. It wasn't just laziness.
Then there's menopause. Wait until that hits. Even some of the most beautiful entertainers from a few years back gain weight from menopause, and it can't be stopped entirely.
Still, if you want a marriage to last, you have to keep the other person happy. From 1989 until 1995, my wife didn't have to work. I made enough money that all I needed was for her to come in at my business one day a week for a few hours to do the books. Her mother was all over me about spoiling her, so I finally relented and said she had to get a job. So she did. And she hated it.
In 1996, I was feeling upset about her weight after ogling some beauties on a motorcycle trip. So I made her an offer. She wouldn't have to work. All she had to do was go to the gym and get in better shape. That's it. The rest of the time she could hang out with friends or whatever she wanted to do. She got upset, and turned me down on the offer.
I
I would be all up in it and you would have one shit hot bodied wife.
(Though there is a strong argument for that.), but for your own sake.
Health is the greatest wealth, and it should not be squandered.
It's crazy that people will pay a fortune to detail their cars, then not spend a few minutes a day to do some calisthenics and stretching. And as to what we choose to eat, we need to do a much better job at that.
Then there is the mind, another terrible thing to waste, but that's a whole different kettle of fish.
Heath is wealth !!! I know some REALLY RICH people, I mean stupid money ! They can wipe their asses with money. SOme of which are paying people/IT specialists and Doctors to come up with something to increase their live span. You think it's a JOKE...its NOT. They have money...lots of it....but money doesn't mean shit when you dead :
IMO, people should take care of themselves for a variety of reasons one of which should include their SO. Health, appearance, physical function maintenance, the psychological benefits, and SO satisfaction all play a role. Find something active that you enjoy and do it! Keep off the excess weight and improve your health and appearance. The benefits are worth it.
on both the woman's and the man's part. It's kinda' like bait and switch when a woman/man attracts a mate, ties the knot and goes to town on the cheese cake and soaps.
eople should stay in shape not just to keep husbands/wives bf/gf interested but to keep the world at large interested not to mention staying healthy. There was a woman I kept spotting on my subway commute. She was very pretty with a nice figure. So what, I see pretty woman every day, but what was the chance of spotting the same person at the same place so frequently. Not only that, she got off at the same stop as me. It was odd. Anyway she noticed that I noticed her. I tried to be cool about checking her out. I never approached her for the simple reason you just don't do that on the subway at 8am. At least I don't. After a year or so of this she dissapeared. Two years went by and then about a month ago she reappeared. She had gained quite a bit of weight. Eveything was bigger. Although still pretty she had a double chin. If I was Loius CK I finally would have approached her and said something to the effect of "Thank you so much for gaining all that weight. Now that you are no longer gorgeous I can stop these inane fanatasies I have been weaving about you and get back to more productive thoughts. Your're still sort of pretty though".
And then you see them 2 years later all fat and out of shape. Definitely stops the pining and the what ifs.
One of the very best ones out there.
-- Modified on 8/27/2013 12:33:41 PM
s in your TER hanldle/avatar - justanillusion.
That was HILARIOUS dude. Well done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not a bad figure on the old gal eh? Not to mention that "come hither" look. I can't stop laughing. Her earrings match her eyelids. That was the best thing I have seen you post.
-- Modified on 8/27/2013 11:58:14 AM
And thank you.
It sure does.....Most of my college class mates look older, over weight, don't dress right....they don't give a shit about themselves. It's sad......When I'm married (If i ever do) I will eat right, hit the gym, tan, all the things I do now. WHY would I stop? because I'm married now? I've found my hot wife and now I can eat what I want, fart, drink, not train....that's crazy !
got a dog and it is walk, walk, walk. Twice a day, EVERY day, not 4 times a week. I weigh less now than I did 30 years ago. Just saying for people like me who fucking hate the gym there are alternatives.
True. The bicycle is a major part of my routine. During the warm months I do a lot of road riding through very hilly terrain. During the winter I put the bike on a fluid trainer in front of the TV. I alternate that with the gym, where I can use free weights and single-station equipment.
Best workout of all is still Nat!
I wish it would happen more often, so I'll try to play nice. I started at the gym after my first divorce because I wanted to look better for dating. I think the reason is after a while people simply lose motivation to look good for their SO. It's just one more way in which marriages become stale.
Even when my second marriage became stale I continued to exercise at least 4 days a week. So it had nothing to do with staying attractive for Wife #2. I did it for me. What I didn't do for her was manscape, which was a mistake.
But the result for me was I became a gym rat and have been in shape for longer than most. It's a total lifestyle commitment and no one is too busy not to make the time. I did it the entire time I was a senior corporate exec. My kids are regular exercisers despite having busy lives.
Inky- first and foremost....THank you for the ONLY kind words you have ever shared with me. It's about LOOKING good for YOU not your SO. This is about us not our SOs. Like buying a house....Pride of ownership. People should take Pride in their appearance. For many reason...One being HEALTH and Longevity.
First of all, if you continue to post thoughts that I agree with, I'll post reasonable responses. Since I'm a bit tired of this board, if you make fidiotic posts I'm much more likely to just ignore them.
As for your OP, after marriage #1 failed it was more about doing as much as I could to turn my life around and less for the dating. Now, it's simply part of a long-term commitment to myself, and for myself. I like it when my doc does the annual physical and says, "Whatever you're doing, just keep doing it." I also like the way I look. Try going to a Meet & Greet and seeing what your fellow mongers actually look like. You don't want to look like that.
I agree 100 %. WOW we are off on the right foot today brother!! I like that....lets continue the positive posts.
But I force myself to make at least some gym time. I still like to get laid the "old fashioned way" at times and no hottie 25 years younger than me is going to give me the time of day if my gut is hanging out further than my dick. Lol
Well, one anyway. I will never try to pick up a civvie girl. Too much work. The only way I will fuck a civvie is if,
1) She is hotter than fuck.
2) Has Daddy issues.
3) Comes up to me and blatantly cruises me and basically tells me she wants to fuck me silly.
Otherwise, I'd rather just call a provider.
It's so much simpler. Cheaper, too.
Inicky- You have a point. I just don't want Civvies calling me and texting me (when are we going out again)...all that shit. I like NO strings attached...we make love, fuck, have sex and walk away. I'll call you when I'm ready to see you again....That's the provider world. It's a good one....NO stress...no BS. It's WAY easier and YES, cheaper in the long run. And NO DRAMA : )
But I NEVER want to be like our M&G buddies who undoubtably can only get laid by paying for it. Yes the hobby is easier and most definitely cheaper in the long run, but I still like to know I've still "got it" and the only way to know is to get laid without paying for at least every once in a while, and being a fat tub of lard isn't going to make it any easier as we get older
Ya know what blew me away in my marriage.....I could handle the times of lack of sex, but, when she wouldn't even open the gifts I would try to buy her on a weekly basis. Wow!!
Oh well, I tried!!
Most of the time that I hit the gym or start working out again, its not so much for fitness as it is that I always feel elevated and in a way better mood after a good workout. whether Im with someone or single, its kind of like my go to feel good activity...makes me feel accomplished too 
After a breakup, the last thing I want is to jump into another relationship...I usually take a 2 or 3 year break. So looking better to snag another guy is the last thing on my mind. I like having time to myself to regroup before getting involved with anyone else.
Sooo yeah, it may not be that they are working out for someone else...some people just enjoy it, others like me do it for the benefits of feeling better and clearing their head. Ya never know!
We all are imperfect. Some carry extra weight and struggle their whole lives with weight issues. Unfortunately that weakness is obvious to all.
Those who are thin, buff and work-out regularly are also imperfect but their flaw is not visible or noticed. Sometimes though they communicate, via writing or speaking, their judgemental, insensitive bullshit and show themselves to all that being an asshole is their flaw.
This post is an example of the latter.