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When you want the lady to bypass the BBBJ...
WickedBrut 27 Reviews 2823 reads
posted

Okay, the inevitable question first-- Why the hell would I want to bypass the blow job???

Let's say you've connected with a foxy lady you really like being with and you've repeated a few times and she's a sweetheart. But, (yeah, pun intended) her blow job sucks. She puts her all into it, tries hard, truly wants to please, but she's one of those students who just can't pass her orals. How and when would you tell her you'd rather get on to missionary and the rodeo medley, or at least find a variation on her love symphony's first movement?

As a gentleman, and considering that she's got your cock between her teeth, something bluntly rude like, "Let's skip the blow job?" That just doesn't seem suave to me.

Blow jobs are probably as close to heaven as most of us will ever get, but it seems that most of these talented ladies have an established routine that employs the standard BBBJ as a carnal icebreaker, which is great foreplay, and a good opening number to be sure, but if it's off, it can sour the whole session. So, when do you tell her you want to start off with something else? You can't tell her the minute you walk in. Over wine? Fit it in with the catchup chat? Once she's got your pants around your ankles it's too late.

Do you explain that you'd like her to practice on her other clients and get back to you once she's honed her craft?

And, ladies, how much does it throw you off your game if you have to rev the engines in a different way?

Spending the same time kissing the lips that never smile is my first ploy, but that can easily turn to 69 and then I'm back to fantasizing about BJs past when with a woman with whom I want to be CREATING fantasies.

So what do you say? When do you say it? How do you make it sound like a compliment? Any ideas

GaGambler1693 reads

Is it really that hard to say something like "I just can't wait to get inside of you" or something of the like?

Most likely you are saving her work by skipping the blow job as very few women who actually like giving blow jobs ever suck at it. Either way, you are her customer, not her BoyFriend, is it really THAT hard to simply ask for what you want? Or don't want, as the case may be. Sheesh. Are you officially throwing your hat into the SPOTY competition?

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WickedBrut1510 reads

...one of those who don't really like it much.

Hey, GaG, why the insults though? Sure, you're just talking trash, and nothing said on this board means anything. But as long as all you're doing is stringing words and phrases together, why don't we try to treat each other with a little respect? I like respect. Don't you?

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GaGambler1728 reads

to put it in schoolyard terms. I didn't get all huffy when you started your insipid Asian digs at me. If you enjoy dishing it out, you need to learn how to take it or we will all start confusing you with your new BFF as you are starting to act a lot like him.

I treat you mainly with respect, but you can get every bit as judgmental as anyone else here on this board, and you've directed a lot of it at me. My advice is that if you don't want to be treated like Turdy, stop emulating him, and if you are going to throw zingers at me, expect a few of them in return. Besides, like you said yourself "nothing said on this board means anything" anyhow.

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JackDunphy1693 reads

In hypothetical case #1, her pics are unblurred, I would quickly realize I was the paying customer and tell her to skip the BJ.

In hypothetical case #2, her pics are blurred,  I would quickly realize I was the paying customer and tell her to skip the BJ

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ValuedCustomer1003 reads

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Tobi Telford1692 reads

...for the love of Gaga please tell me.  

When y'all start pulling my ladyboner out of its hood, gnawing on it, or rubbing your stubble all over my labia, I'm sure as shit going to say something. And I'm not even the one paying!  

I'm telling y'all, this is why people have bad sex. If everyone had the balls to just say "I am not enjoying x, could you try y instead?", there'd be less war.

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JackDunphy1411 reads

Fk,  I'd like to see it. Really, I would.

But if you are one of those old fashioned, prude types, sent it to me blurred and I'll just have to visual it.

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Tobi Telford1230 reads

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JackDunphy1435 reads

...my standard hooker negotiating offer of 50% would still apply.  

So lets say $550 (tip included) but the pic HAS to be UNBLURRED. Deal?

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Tobi Telford1290 reads

Posted By: JackDunphy
...my standard hooker negotiating offer of 50% would still apply.  
   
 So lets say $550 (tip included) but the pic HAS to be UNBLURRED. Deal?

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Dr Who revived1431 reads

It's expected in many parts of the world...if you don't it's considered a sign of weakness.

And haggling isn't negotiating...it's discussing a mutually beneficial arrangement  LOL

In this example Jack is offering to pay $ 550 more for a pic than I would.  Seems like it's a good offer.  ;)

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JackDunphy1759 reads

I just re-sold it to dumbass WB for $1500. He got all hot and bothered when he realized the pic was unblurred and overpaid me for it.

I just made a quick $$$$$ for doing no work and raking over a stupid john.  

Now I know just how you hookers must feel.

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AnotherDonJohn1461 reads

Posted By: JackDunphy
I just re-sold it to dumbass WB for $1500. He got all hot and bothered when he realized the pic was unblurred and overpaid me for it.  
   
 I just made a quick $$$$$ for doing no work and raking over a stupid john.  
   
 Now I know just how you hookers must feel.

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WickedBrut1388 reads

He's doing everything he can to gain access to provider pics showing facial features of providers so that he can blackmail the ladies. He's been advocating that women put clear pictures of their faces online for a long time. Then he tries to pin the game on poor guys like me who, in reality, have lived our entire lives in an incubator and know nothing of how the real world works. I'd be very careful around this scumbag. He hates women because he can't stand his need for sex. So he's looking for ways to do as much harm as possible to them. My advice, send him a photo of his wife trying in vain to give a decent blow job. I've got one if you need it.

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Dr Who revived1286 reads

Give it a fucking rest WB...Tobi is more than capable without your pathetic "advice" on how to take care of herself.

Maybe your lack of reading comprehension here is altering the reality for you.  Not to mention your memory lapse where YOU posted about putting up unblurred photos.  Should we revisit that drivel again?

Or that the nitrous is turned up a bit too high in your incubator.  If you don't need the nitrous let me know and I'd be happy (pun intended) to take it off your hands!

Posted By: WickedBrut
He's doing everything he can to gain access to provider pics showing facial features of providers so that he can blackmail the ladies. He's been advocating that women put clear pictures of their faces online for a long time. Then he tries to pin the game on poor guys like me who, in reality, have lived our entire lives in an incubator and know nothing of how the real world works. I'd be very careful around this scumbag. He hates women because he can't stand his need for sex. So he's looking for ways to do as much harm as possible to them. My advice, send him a photo of his wife trying in vain to give a decent blow job. I've got one if you need it.

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TalkToTrees1590 reads

Wow, did you get past 5th grade?  

Suddenly, we have already forgotten Alyssa Marie's post from 5 days ago where some folks on here were determined to get rid of the 'playground' antics.

You're not helping ChgoCPA. Grow a pair, please.

The Forest Waits

Posted By: ChgoCPA
Give it a fucking rest WB...Tobi is more than capable without your pathetic "advice" on how to take care of herself.  
   
 Maybe your lack of reading comprehension here is altering the reality for you.  Not to mention your memory lapse where YOU posted about putting up unblurred photos.  Should we revisit that drivel again?  
   
 Or that the nitrous is turned up a bit too high in your incubator.  If you don't need the nitrous let me know and I'd be happy (pun intended) to take it off your hands!  
   
Posted By: WickedBrut
He's doing everything he can to gain access to provider pics showing facial features of providers so that he can blackmail the ladies. He's been advocating that women put clear pictures of their faces online for a long time. Then he tries to pin the game on poor guys like me who, in reality, have lived our entire lives in an incubator and know nothing of how the real world works. I'd be very careful around this scumbag. He hates women because he can't stand his need for sex. So he's looking for ways to do as much harm as possible to them. My advice, send him a photo of his wife trying in vain to give a decent blow job. I've got one if you need it.

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Dr Who revived1284 reads

Alyssa Marie's crying to the boards about how she doesn't like the bullshit here?  Sounds like a "her" problem...and I guess you are her friend so it's also a "you" problem.

I am also completely unaware of my "not helping".  Helping you?  Helping some other hooker?

You'll need to brush up on your communication skills my dear...as of now you truly are NOT smarter than a 5th grader  ;)

Posted By: TalkToTrees
Wow, did you get past 5th grade?  
   
 Suddenly, we have already forgotten Alyssa Marie's post from 5 days ago where some folks on here were determined to get rid of the 'playground' antics.  
   
 You're not helping ChgoCPA. Grow a pair, please.  
   
 The Forest Waits  
   
Posted By: ChgoCPA
Give it a fucking rest WB...Tobi is more than capable without your pathetic "advice" on how to take care of herself.  
     
  Maybe your lack of reading comprehension here is altering the reality for you.  Not to mention your memory lapse where YOU posted about putting up unblurred photos.  Should we revisit that drivel again?  
     
  Or that the nitrous is turned up a bit too high in your incubator.  If you don't need the nitrous let me know and I'd be happy (pun intended) to take it off your hands!  
     
Posted By: WickedBrut
He's doing everything he can to gain access to provider pics showing facial features of providers so that he can blackmail the ladies. He's been advocating that women put clear pictures of their faces online for a long time. Then he tries to pin the game on poor guys like me who, in reality, have lived our entire lives in an incubator and know nothing of how the real world works. I'd be very careful around this scumbag. He hates women because he can't stand his need for sex. So he's looking for ways to do as much harm as possible to them. My advice, send him a photo of his wife trying in vain to give a decent blow job. I've got one if you need it.

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TalkToTrees1310 reads

The fact that you didn't understand my post shows that you have a 'cyberbully' mentality.  

You are one of the people in this small group of adolescents that loves to pick on others if those people don't "fit your kind". "Your kind" equals 'cyberbullies'.  

The Forest Wait

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Dr Who revived1374 reads

You are a consistent poster...that I'll give you.

I also didn't realize that your brilliant and well hidden secret codes in your posts are just tests for the other members here.

I certainly hope you are entertaining yourself....I find you entertaining.  Predictable...but entertaining.

The Rainforest Waits

Posted By: TalkToTrees
The fact that you didn't understand my post shows that you have a 'cyberbully' mentality.  
   
 You are one of the people in this small group of adolescents that loves to pick on others if those people don't "fit your kind". "Your kind" equals 'cyberbullies'.  
   
 The Forest Waits  
 

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JackDunphy1653 reads

There are many BSC similiarities between the two of you so I may have to get Turdwell do the DNA testing for me.

He can also fill you in on her BJ when you two meet up as I know you are unable to ask hookers to skip that if they aren't good at it.

Taylor's big on photo's too, so you'll love her. Only issue is she's a blurred type of gal but with your powers of persuasion, you can explain how it's in her best interest and safety to unblur them. ;)

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inicky461188 reads

You wanna back that shit up?  I'd advise you to do it or your credibility in these parts might suffer.  Jest sayin'.

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JackDunphy1284 reads

I haven't seen a pussy have a meltdown like that since Clay Aiken lost the 2003 Final on American Idol.

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AnotherDonJohn1286 reads

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hbyist+truth=;(1172 reads

From an old fashioned prude type who does not blur but cuts off the face. If the tricks would put there unblurred faces on a website that states they hire hookers which is illegal, I will the post a full frontal nude with face. And this is NOT about who pays who, it is all about  life after and the association ruining it. Not to mention it is ILLEGAL

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Jacque_Jenesais1299 reads

You're talking about the number one aspect of sex. Communicating your wants and desires.  

If you don't, it's not our fault, and if we don't, it's not our partner's fault, right?

Just never look up and say, "Do you like it?" Lol

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ValuedCustomer1305 reads

where we are just so damned happy they are giving us a BJ, we don't dare tell them that they aren't any good at it.  Because we might not ever get it again....  Bad habits are tough to break.

Good point about the communications

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MasterZen965 reads

and maybe give some coaching? If not, just move on to the things that DO make her your ATF.

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Pimpathy1292 reads

You should have Gaga teach you how to properly ware a pair of panties...

 

 
 

Posted By: Tobi Telford
...for the love of Gaga please tell me.  
   
 When y'all start pulling my ladyboner out of its hood, gnawing on it, or rubbing your stubble all over my labia, I'm sure as shit going to say something. And I'm not even the one paying!  
   
 I'm telling y'all, this is why people have bad sex. If everyone had the balls to just say "I am not enjoying x, could you try y instead?", there'd be less war.

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Jacque_Jenesais1039 reads

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miamidolls1219 reads

"I would like to return the favor" sounds great doesn't it..?
Then introduce whatever activity you would like.. nothing wrong with that..
Dolly

-- Modified on 5/8/2014 4:48:47 PM

Related Link: hottest place on earth!

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ValuedCustomer1516 reads

Some take-charge is required. Providers I have seen do seem to like a take charge vibe - assuming a reasonable level of civilized behavior.   They also seem to have a routine that they use if you don't give them other instructions.  After all - they gotta start somewhere.

First possibility - Put your hands on her wrists (in a reasonable, gentle yet insistent manner...) and put her where she needs to be. Keep her in a full body clinch with some caressing and gentle hand work.  Give off the vibe that you want her and you want her NOW the way YOU want her.  Feel free to do some DATY - just don't let her come back the other way - deny it to her; she doesn't DESERVE your c*ck.  

Second possibility - train her to give you the blow job you deserve.  You don't have to tell her that she isn't any good at it now... just that you have a fantasy about training her to give you a BJ...

After all -- it is your money and she ain't a mind reader...

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StinaValentine1135 reads

This is excellent advice!

We all had to learn how to give head somewhere. Let it be with you. :)

Posted By: ValuedCustomer
Some take-charge is required. Providers I have seen do seem to like a take charge vibe - assuming a reasonable level of civilized behavior.   They also seem to have a routine that they use if you don't give them other instructions.  After all - they gotta start somewhere.  
   
 First possibility - Put your hands on her wrists (in a reasonable, gentle yet insistent manner...) and put her where she needs to be. Keep her in a full body clinch with some caressing and gentle hand work.  Give off the vibe that you want her and you want her NOW the way YOU want her.  Feel free to do some DATY - just don't let her come back the other way - deny it to her; she doesn't DESERVE your c*ck.  
   
 Second possibility - train her to give you the blow job you deserve.  You don't have to tell her that she isn't any good at it now... just that you have a fantasy about training her to give you a BJ...  
   
 After all -- it is your money and she ain't a mind reader....  
   
 

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89Springer1203 reads

I brought my ex along slowly in the beginning by asking her to do certain things. It wasn't long before she was giving me the best BJ's I'll ever have.

The provider I've seen the most often is good, but I asked her to do things. Next time she did them again, I asked for some other things, and next time she did all the things. It got better and better

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inicky461226 reads

I can't remember ever getting a bad BBBJ.  Some are better than others, sure.  And if she gave me a bad one I just wouldn't see her again.  Same way I just don't see a bunch of really hot women who only do CBJ.

-- Modified on 5/8/2014 5:45:28 PM

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WickedBrut1625 reads

But when I'm flashing on ladies of days gone by while this lovely lady is on her knees drooling out spit and licking and sucking, I just get exasperated. She's probably just fine and normal, but her tongue feels like very fine sandpaper or Emory cloth. Makes me feel like I'm a chair leg in a vice being prepped for varnishing.

And the drooling out copious saliva feels like wood stain being rubbed into the grain. Gives a whole new dimension to the term woody. Sometimes I think I should never have regaled her bragging about my cabinetmaker skills. I don't think she was too impressed. Or...

Yeah, it just occurred to me that she might have thought I was talking in some kind of code. You know, the old hint-hint, nudge-nudge kind of thing. Maybe she's more of an artist than I Imagined! I've never met a woman who could turn her tongue into sandpaper. Maybe I SHOULD reviewer her. I'd have to give her a Once In a Lifetime Experience! I've certainly never encountered anything like this before. But, of course, I'm quite naive really. Didn't even know how to SPELL naive until I learned it was Evian spelt backwards. That's REALLY niave!

Well, your post has certainly gotten me thinking. Rethinking, actually. Maybe, if what I've found is the real deal, you'll be getting a life-alert call. "Help! I've fallen for the lady with the sandpaper tongue and I can't get up!"

Maybe she's some sort of alien. No, not THAT kind of alien, I mean from another solar system far, far away where all the providers can turn their tongues into sandpaper. Maybe she wants to abduct me and take me back for experimentation. Maybe all the dudes where she comes from have smoothed down clocks that look like they just came off a lathe. And all the providers are enchanting sirens who can't blow their noses! Actually, this could be an adventure if I play her right. You know me, happy go luckily at home and star bound.

Thanks DDDs, Inicky! And someday I'll return the favor. If you ever need any advice, you can always count on me, assuming I'm on Earth!

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ValuedCustomer1074 reads

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ToniLove1336 reads

Lets fuck!

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freebore1478 reads

Or just say, "Marry me!"

Yep, there ya go, no more blow jobs!

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mongo196219541002 reads

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ToniLove1299 reads

Lmfao!!!!!!

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ToniLove1278 reads

Lmfao!!!!!!

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SuperBustyBlonde1443 reads

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