At 5'4", I am at the mercy of the hand that nature dealt me. As for personality, that I do have some control over, so I would answer definitely the latter.
You have to look good in order for them to even give you a chance to get to know your personality.
The ladies in the thread below will tell you that looks are not as important as personality, character, yada, yada. But if you're not attractive, who's going to give you a chance to show your desirability and your positive traits?
More doors will open for you if you're physically attractive and handsome....that's just how it is, sad but true.
You can't change what nature gave you, but you can make it more presentable with things like good grooming, good hygiene, and good manners. If you take care of these and help open doors, then your personality can take over.
I used to be over one hundred pounds overweight. I always had that pretty face and those dreamy blue eyes and awesome personality that men gush over, but I was a fattie. Okay, I thought that if I could only get skinny more doors would open for me. I would be more accepted, get more dates, better reviews...
So, I set about to make it happen. Here I am a year and a half later, 120 lbs lighter, and do you know?? The men who liked me then are the same men who like me now. The opportunities I had then are the same I have now. I thought there would be a huge change in my life if I dropped all this weight. There isn't. I was happy then, I'm happy now. Yes, I'm healthier.... Yes, I feel sexier... but the men who rock my world now at a lighter weight, are the same men who were coming around when I was heavier.
It was an amazing lesson to me. Honestly, looks are simply not as important as they seem. I learned that. I feel better about myself. But the men who love me now are the same men who loved me then. The reviews I get now are the same that I got then. The opportunities I have now are the same that I had then.
My body is different, but my personality, my humility, my grace, my humour, my sex drive.. they are all the same.
First and foremost - congratulations on the weight loss. Seriously, that is a great accomplishment. But, I just took a peek at your website and I'd guess that the guys who find you appealing don't mind a bit of meat on the bones. That's proof that there is someone for everyone, but I don't think it means that you'll necessarily appeal to a different crowd. I'd still call you a bigger gal, and as such, would pass by. I don't guess that shallow fashion model chasers like myself would suddenly find you on our radar. Guys that saw past your weight to find "a pretty face, dreamy blue eyes and awesome personality" hopefully still find those traits. Hence the consistent customer base. Make sense?
I wish I could but don't seem to making any headway after the first 50LB I lost despite radically changing what and how much I eat and how much exercise I get. People who lose large amount of weight give me hope with my own struggles with the bulge.
I think the situation changes the weight of looks vs personality.
In the Internet world, looks initially will get you in the door. It's hard to judge personality on the screen, so looks usually are the judgement. That may get you in the door, but personality plays a big role after that. Sure, someone may look good, but who wants to be with someone who is a total bitch/asshole?
In your social life, however, you may be around people for different reasons (say, an office party) where you may be around someone you may not have picked from a picture online. But you witness their great personality, and that person becomes more attractive. Sure, I think looks still play a part, but not as large a part as online does.
So, I think attractiveness is a sum of both - but you may not get to see both right away.
In the hobby, sure, men probably put more emphasis on looks, because they can. The ladies, however, don't get to pick who contacts them, so I'd think personality might weigh more for them.
Of course, that's based on the assumption I know anything about women, which I don't.
All the women love u,your a star!(dirty money)! That was pretty cool seeing your name on that computer screen! Told my friends,I know that guy,Their like, RIGHT!
Posted By: mrfisher
Assuming that you do want to be found desirable to women, what feature would you rather be responsible for that attraction:
looks or personality?
I've been thinking about this for a while and I honestly can't say one way or the other.
be nice and polite, spend some cash and you would be surprised what can be had. as you know, my stripclub experiences are legendary... and have only become more bizzare. However, with the variety that is out there on how to satisfy the itch... well, lets just say if you are an escort, and sex with men is your business.... and you have some downtime... who would you rather spend it with...
a gent who is kind and affectionate, understanding and likes to have a good time OR
a dude who is cheap, not very affectionate, rolls off ya right after HE orgams with NO attention to you and to top it all off, he smells...
Just seems to me, the choice is pretty clear.... but one does have to get toknow someone sometimes to distinguish between those 2 gents!
personallity will win in the end. at least that's what I hope!!!!!! I know we are all visual people......men more so than women.......but I can't help but believe that a nice warm personality that a provider can relate to and feel comfortable with wins over a good body and lousy disposition........
I've been told that i am quite charming recently but my offer to be a foreign supporter may have had something to do with that exclamation. I'm only an average looking guy.
i think I would wish to be rewarded for my witty repose. Regardless of what women will pony up and admit, an incredibly handsome hobo will no where come close to an average millionaire.
I have never been found desirable for my looks but my personality got me my wife. So sense my wife is the best thing that ever happened to me, I would take personality. Besides even if I had the looks they would fade in time but my personality stays long the looks fade. But in the end I would be happy if I had ether going for me as most women don't find me desirable.
Though you're right I can kind only answer from the provider side though I want to say I feel they should be equal I wouldn't be upset if looks won out a bit more lol
Unfortunately I have to largely rely on my personality as no one will be mistaking me for Brad Pitt anytime soon. My personal opinion is that looks get you in the door, personality sustains. Good question though!
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