For instance, Mom is in her late 40's and needs a companion.  We go to dating websites to look for her, and notice all the men who are, say, 50 want ladies 30-45.  And all the men that are 60 want women 35-50.  
Of course, there are those who do date women their own age; but an overwhelming--and depressing--amount of men want women much more than a couple of years younger.
Is it the looks thing?  (As if they aren't older looking, too>)
Or is it an ego thing?  (Which we suspect is the answer.)
Any thoughts on this?

I don't think it's true.

It does appear that men usually want a younger woman.  I think it is a looks thing.  On the other hand, it also appears that women usually want an older man and they usually want a taller man.  That's the way the general preferences run.

The fortunate thing about those dating sites for women is that usually the ratios are skewed heavily in favor of the women so I wouldn't worry about her finding some interest.

I don't think it's looks as much how bitter are they. At 52 the women my age are so bitter it's not worth the price they want you to pay to get along with them.

I agree with the bitter part and also that most of the older women dont have any life left in them . They try to act there age instead of acting like there are in there 20s, which I like to do some times

I happen to be a mature lady, that always acts like a teenager!

There are some things that are definitely better about being with an older woman, but its a literally a no brainer as to why men prefer younger women most often.

They are thinking with the little head which is swayed heavily to simple physical attractiveness. And, lets be honest here, in general the younger a woman is the more attractive she is. There are exceptions (Goldie Hawn always springs to mind when this subject comes up), but most often a woman is as beautiful in her teens and twenties as she will ever be.

Its just that simple folks.

I did say Some. I do love exceptions

Im a 32 year old and have just mutually ended a fling with my 50 year old HOT secretary (yeah i know , sounds like a porno).
Since the affair i have found the desire for older women 45 to 55 max.
The woman gave the most amazing bj's almost like she had medusa for a tongue...AMMAZING

i still beat off to the experience.....(Had to end the affair cause the SO was getting curious).

I'm in my early 50's and it's just sad what most of the women my age have become, for a variety of reasons.  I've met some that I wanted to date, but were quickly turned off by their attitudes.

They run the full range of adjectives, but most of them aren't so good- demanding, angry, bitter, etc.  Sometimes they feel that way because of past failed realtionships or what the men in their lives have done to them- caught in a continuous loop of replaying the pain, rather than moving on in a positive manner.

Other times they feel betrayed by their own bodies and the loss of the looks that served them so well for the previous 30 years.  Rarely do they see the role they have played in their current situation.  The more they externalize these feelings and blame others, the more "unattractive" they become to the men that might otherwise be interested in them.

The last woman I tried to date that was my age sent me an email listing her 10 requirements that a man must possess (I'm not kidding).   I had only four of them, so it was easy to pass (I know what you're thinking, how could I give up a gem like that?).  I later found out from her girlfriend that she hadn't been on a date in 10 years.  Well, I know it wasn't because men weren't interested, but somehow, something got really perverted in her mind about dating and the purpose of relationships and the role of  a "significant other" in her life.

Too many women reach middle-age still playing by the rules of their youth.  They expect men to do for them, they expect their looks to substitute for a pleasant personality, and they expect men to still be willing to jump whenever they say jump- after all, they've got the pussy.  But that's an adolescent's game, and it's just sad when a 50+ y.o. woman tries to play it.  Especially since it usually means she hasn't developed beyond the level of valuing physical appearance.

Frankly, I find this age to be a very lonely phase of life.  I never thought I'd know so many women crying about the lack of love in their lives and acting in a  manner so counter to ever obtaining it.  Is it any wonder dogs and cats have taken the place of men in the lives of so many?  Is it any wonder men look at younger women?

Always is too strong a term, but this is frequently the case.

I think that this is deeply within our evolutionary biology.  Men are wired in their brains to want women who will be best able to conceive and carry a pregnancy.

Women are wired in their brains to want someone who will provide for them and their children.

Think about this a minute and you will see that our evolutionary past also guides why the hobby works so well for so many men and women.

FS

diaper us when we get old.

I have seen an older woman, well when I was younger I dated women older than me.  As long as she takes care of herself, and doesn't have an attitude, I don't care how old or young she is.

perhaps you need a different lube, say astroglide- trhen they are sweet!

comes from within. If you feel young, flaunt it baby! There are certain days that my clothes are a little more conversative (meaning: appropriate for the occasion). However, I still like my mini skirts, low-cut blouses, toe rings (fashionable), bikinis and going out and having a great time. Woo hoo!

Hugs,
Ciara

I don't think this is the appropriate venue. Your question is really far more complex than how it initially appears, and I don't think it can be properly and thoroughly answered with any type of a standard and straightforward reply. Some additional probing would be required, necessitating a more extensive give and take dialogue, which is not all that practical via this board. Even after a lengthy philosophical discussion, you still may not attain the type of understanding that you are looking for with your question.

With absolutely no intention to take this any further, I pose to you a couple of related thoughts for you to ponder only when you have exhausted all other mental exercises.

One thought being, perhaps the perceptions you have of yourself are not identically the same how others perceive you.

Another thought, you are how you are.


Let me know when you become 21, and I'll see if it’s possible to buy you a drink sometime.

That the best answer so far . You really hit the nail on the head

Personally I feel that after about 35 age becomes less important. I find that a womans attractivnes is more a perception of her overall package. This is made up of many things including Physical beauty,attitude and spirit.I find great pleasure in being a man who can date women so diverse that there is never a dull moment in my life.Not all my dating is with providers.I find as a 50 something man I can date women from late 20's to 5 years older than me and find intresting aspects in all of them.I will be honest enough to admit that to date anyone younger than that is usually reserved to my hobby time.I've been blessed with good health and an appearence of less than my true age.  I realise that some day I will no longer be able to pull off some of things that I still am able to get away with. The way I look at it is "The Smile on the face of an old man are the memories of the deeds of his youth" That ought to give my age away.  I intend to enjoy all the good years available to me.I love life with all it's ups and downs.

Good point!  I guess we both see it too often in the opposite gender.  I know from meeting you that you are far from bitter.

It is "The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating", by David M. Buss (Professor of Psychology at the University of Michigan), Basic Books, 1994.

The book was originally recommended to me (on this board) by Jacqueline.

Although it is obviously impossible to compress a book into a few short statements, I would like to add one observation about men and women documented in the book that took me almost completely by surprise although in hindsight it makes perfect sense.

Both women and men have long-term and short-term relationships.

Women have basically the same standards for both long-term and short-term relationships. They just ease up on their standards a bit for short-term relationships.

Men, however, are very different. Many of the things that are most important to them in long-term relationships are not very important in short-term relationships. And things that (as a group) they find unacceptable in a long-term relationship (such as sexual promiscuity on the part of the woman) are not a negative and may actually be a positive in a short-term relationship.


-- Modified on 3/18/2004 12:17:34 AM

I think that their are  bitter men just as there are bitter women.  However much of what you say strikes a responsive chord and I will leave the bitter men for the ladies to analyze.

Before I went into business for myself I thought that older men went after younger women because they were afraid of death or old age or some other nonsense.  After I started seeing some of the older female clients in my office and elsewhere I began to realize that many of the men probably felt that if they were  going to deal with a 45+ year old women with the maturity of a 25 year old woman and a bunch of bad habits to boot they might as well go with the 25 year old and at least get the hard body.

Some of them seemed to have a sense of entitlement.  They were entitled to live in Beverly Hills, Newport Beach, Corona Del Mar or wherever.  Forget the little matter of being able to make enough money to be able to live in those places.

Some of them seemed to be 45+ and still think that they were the princess, belle of the ball or maybe better described as the Scarlett O'Hara syndrome. As you suggested they still felt that men should jump through hoops for them, demonstrate their love by doing battle with all other suitors and in general go through all of the teenage games and dating rituals.  

Fortunately there are some ladies in that age group that are not bitter and have their feet squarely on the ground.  Personally I think an older woman with a good attitude can be as sexy as hell and the fact that their breasts might sag a little bit from child birth or age just shows that they have been lived in.  Besides it is not like we are twenty year old hard bodies either.  And if you can't find one in civilian life there are always some great TER Providers.

the petty office garbage. One time this one lady asked me when I'd stop wearing short skirts. I told her "as soon as they don't look good!"
Yep..me and Tina Turner - showing off legs 'til we're well on in years! LOL

he is being an asshole without saying it in so many words.  Ladies take note!  This is how to be a real lady.

Hats off to the one and only Nicole!

For example, I want to be young, tall, handsome and rich, but I am none of the above. Perhaps it is the old adage,..."we always want what we don't have."

all the political feedback you get in an office atmosphere. I don't think I can ever go back to corporate America. I can play the game if they want me to but why? I'd rather sip wine with a gentleman, have dinner and a great time afterward. That beats the 9-5, working-your-tail-off-for-little-money rat race any day.

Kisses to you, my friend!
Ciara