It was long before TER so I didn't know any good strategies, but the two ways I got caught aren't much discussed on here, so here they are for your consideration:

The first time I stayed at some five star lah-di-dah hotel that sent a copy of the bill (along with a list of phone numbers of calls made from the room! [This was before cell phones, even.]), to my home, where the now ex promptly opened and called the numbers and had a pleasant chat with my date.

The second time occured when I hobbied at a hotel in my fair city and decided to park my big red conspicuous car on the street (to avoid the garage charges); where my wife promptly saw it as she drove by and used a ruse to get the desk clerk to give her a key to come up to the room.  What a pleasant surprise that was.  (And no, we didn't do a three-some but I sure got screwed by her and her lawyer later.)

So, add these lessons to your play book:

No hotels that mail out bills and don't hobby in your home town, or at least park the car in a garage.

Have had 2 S.O.'s during my about decade in the hobby -- little suspicion despite living together, broke up for other reasons

7 years ago the wife stopped giving me BJ's   I think she suspects I'm hobbying, but does not know any details.  I have plenty of reasonable excuses to be away a few hours at a time.

Never close to being caught.  Wife does not ask a lot of questions.  She does not seem interested in going back to giving me BJ's...so I keep hobbying.  Have come home with teethmarks (several times) which I would never be able to explain.

I say to myself I would retire if the wife provided again.  There is a good chance of this happening, but I'm happy to continue hobbying until that day arrives.

If ever caught, would just tell her I wouldn't need to outsource if I got BJ's at home...put the ball in her court.

Not only that, the provider burst into tears and ran out of the room.

Soon to be a new Fox Sunday night comedy cartoon.

Recently someone on this forum wrote me that I will eventually get caught by the wife.

Let me hear some of your experience:

Have you gotten away with this for multiple years and the wife suspects little or nothing?  

Have you ever been caught and been able to come through it without divorce?  

Have you ever come really close to being caught?  

What would you do if caught in order to save your marriage if it were possible?  Promise to leave the hobby, or try and convince your wife to allow an open marriage, or something else?

If you bring a STD home, how can you handle things so that you are not automatically 100% busted?

I'm in your boat Squeezy, new to the hobby and wondering how long I can pull this off w/o getting caught.

I am glad that you are thinking about the "what ifs"  One of the things that you can do is blame it on her. Tell her how her attitude sucks and there is no romance left in the marriage. Tell her that you are the real victim here, not her. Send that bitch on a major guilt trip.  Be prepared to tell her that you are willing to stop seeking pay for play pussy if she is willing to suck your dick everyday.  You just have to say it and take a small break for few months. Tell that bitch that she is fortunate that you are not having an affair or turned gay. Once she lets her guard down, you can go back to seeking pussy.  

Now lets talk about what you can do so that you don't get caught.

1. Use separate bank account
2. Use separate hobby phone. Always keep it off during non-hobbying time.
3. If you travel for work, try and hobby in cities that you visit instead of where you live.
4. Constantly bitch about how the sex is horrible in your marriage. If you stop bitching, she might get suspicious.

Happy Hobbying folks -

Your neighborhood Jerk.

It has been almost two years and I have had couple of close situations, but none that aroused wife's suspicions.

1. If I get caught, I will not stop. It may end the marriage, which might not be a bad thing.
2. About not bringing STDs into the marriage, I usually use a condom even with wife. I also get tested frequently ( Gonorrhea and Chlamydia every 1-2 months, everything else every 6 months). I may do a BB with wife, if all recent tests are negative and I have not had contact with a provider since then. I have never had a positive in the last two years I have hobbied, but still I take all precautions.

I would say if you think you have one, do everything possible to NOT have sex with the wife and then see some STD clinic on the side and get whatever treatment possible.  You might get away with it.

Why would you use a condom with the wife (seems to me one would only use it for birth control) but then do occasional BB?  Seems like it's out in the open that you screw around.  Is it?

"Honey, if your ass didn't get so fat over the years maybe I wouldn't be as repulsed.  How about some liposuction?  Oh, and while you're there get some implants.  That saggy shit is growing old quick".  I find the ladies' ears really perk up when this discussion rolls around.

I already know and practice the 'how to not get caught' stuff which is of course a must.  But even that is not a 100% guarantee you won't get caught.

There are almost too many factors to discuss as to why some men can get away with it forever, or in my case, 14 years and still going. Most are highly situational so I'll brief you on my situation and you'll see how I've lasted:

1) I'm careful, all the time. Browse in incognito mode, monger phone, never write anything down, never take chances and when I get that "something's not right" feeling I bail.

2) I mainly stay with regulars. Very seldom do I see new providers but when I do it's through referral. I also only offer new providers my referrals for verification. No one gets a single piece of my real info.

3) I never tell anyone about my hobby - no one. My best friends have no clue.

4) My wife isn't a "question asker." When I get home, it's not 20 questions. If I'm late it's not 20 questions. If I go on a trip, it's not 20 questions. She's not one of those "but you said you were at Walmart at 3pm but that's impossible since you were at...." wives. Thank God.

5) I don't lie when I don't have to. What I mean by that is if I'm seeing a provider in "Smithville" I don't tell my wife I'm going to "Johnesville." That way if I get a speeding ticket, car breaks down, get into an accident I don't get caught in a blatant lie. If I going to TGI Fridays with a provider (we often go to lunch) I don't say I'm going to Applebees. Stupid stuff can really bite you; "You said you were at TGI Fridays in Smithville? The news said it was closed today due to a kitchen fire."

6) I never tell my wife I'm meeting anyone she might know.

7) I run my own small biz so I'm all over God's creation meeting with clients. Because of that it's almost the perfect mongering opportunity that ever existed. Basically, the entire day is mine to do with what I want. I could be with a provider for 6 hours (and have - lunch, shopping, etc...) and not only does my wife not know, she doesn't even ask.

8) I use Visa gift cards when I'm out mongering - if I take a provider to lunch or so I can buy things without my wife asking about certain charges. But I'm also very clever too. If I tell her I'm going to Smithville, I use my regular credit card for gas, etc...

9) To get more perfect, I'll meet up with my providers at nice hotels but tell my wife I'm having a biz meeting at that hotel. Just in case, for some odd reason, she'd try to track my location I'm right at the Marriott where I said I'd be.

10) I saved the best for last - I make sure my wife is always very happy. We actually have a good marriage, sex is regular, I pay her a lot of attention, we vacation all the time, etc...so we really doesn't have a reason to poke the bear.

Oh crap...Did you get caught with your pants down. I mean literally. Sorry you had to go through that embarrassing situation.

Those are some good strategies. I'm a single guy, but I could also learn something from them should someone see me with a provider.

One time my colleague's father saw me walk into a hotel on a rainy night. My colleague questions me the next day. I didn't have any answer as I was totally caught off guard. I changed the topic. I really don't give a rat's ass about my colleague's dad finding out that I fuck prostitutes, but it made me think how unprepared I was for unpleasant surprises.

Was the length of my longest affair until i was finally busted. Well sort of busted. She only found out about one of the many I happened to be seeing at the time.

We were able to work it out, and if I didn't have young kids at home it wouldn't have been worth it.

I spent way too much time in the doghouse, and the marriage was still a piece of crap which led to the affair.

I did take those formative years to very quietly prepare for a divorce by protecting assets, creating large amounts of debt in the business, creating property companies, etc.

Myself, along with many others can probably tell you all types of ways to avoid getting caught. My advice would be to plan on living a double life, and keep your stories straight.

There are certain things that should never come anywhere near your house. Your burn phone, receipts, phone numbers, lipstick, perfume. I actually purchased another car and put a shower in my office.

This was before I knew about the hobby. An affair has the emotional attachment of someone who is sooner or later going to get tired of being the other woman. "There is no wrath like the scorn of a woman"

Back and forth a few hundred times just wears away the skin.  Does not hurt until afterwards in the shower.

No suspicions.

If I got caught it would without question destroy the marriage.  In the end I would just try to explain to her that for me it wasn't about her or something she could have done differently because there isn't anything she could have done different to change this behavior.

No one woman can provide the variety that I desire.  I would hope that she could take some solace in the fact that I didn't have an affair with someone locally, or a friend.  Bottom line is it would be one fucked up train wreck that wouldn't be fixable.

Even when I was dating & previous relationships...  My first ex...  made my life hell for 5 years & almost sexless marriage.  Present wife of 20.  I never looked at another woman until about 5 years ago.  I realized there were things I wanted to do & wife's menu & frequency began shrinking...  the only way was to go outside.  If the wife wanted to fill my needs...  and I'm not asking for the moon...  I'd quit the hobby.  
It would end the marriage, I believe...  at least the sex part of it.  But then that's already tanked.

I made some rookie mistakes when I started, but I was lucky.  Luck is NOT a plan!
Hobby phone, do not save numbers, turn off when not in use.    
Hobby email.  Do not access adsult sites from employer's computer unless you own the company & do your own IT work.  
Wash face, hands, privates...  while some may not recognize it, some do...  the others become agitated without knowing why...  the sex scent...  
Devolupe a flexible schedule that allows you to slip away unnoticed for the requisite time.   You can't hobby every time you are unaccounted for...  Say you go to the gym (would never work for me) or go fishing, or ??  once in a while you use that time otherwise.  
Never use somebody else as an alibi.  Never tell anyone else.  This is a real double life & must be a total secret except what we share here.  
H

The way I figure it, I'm too much man for one woman anyway...

Well my wife prefers me to use condom, so that it is less messy for her. I prefer it with the wife because it helps me last longer, plus it also ensures that I do not accidentally pass anything to her( even though I am super careful when I hobby). The thing was I used to use the condom( not for birth control) even before I started hobbying, so it was nothing to be suspicious about. I do occ BB with wife just for fun, when she is also in the mood. I know it sounds screwy and different and weird, but it works well in my situation...

with 2 different wives (the first one died).

Being into BDSM there were challenges to face in hiding my secret life that you vanilla folks don't have to deal with. I did get busted a couple of times with my first wife.

Funny.  I'm surprised my wife hasn't gone that route yet.  Probably because it's too infrequent for her to even think about.  That and I can't seem to dump it in her, or any chick for that matter.

I honestly think that if my wife found out that she would forgive me. I think  she would almost prefer it to be 'this way' rather than me having a relationship with someone else behind her back.
She does pretty much everything I ask in the bedroom but the frequency is very random.

My free time has to be planned like a military operation as there is only a 3 hour window I can get to a provider each week and it is during the day.
I am VERY well known in my community so it makes it extra sketchy but the fear of getting caught is all part of the excitement IMO.

I get nervous the whole ride there going through all the 'what if' scenarios and even though I make sure my body language doesn't show it I am always terrified that the hotel staff will ask me what I am doing or equally that someone will recognize me.
I always make sure that I have at least one believable excuse to get me out of the situation.
When I am leaving the hotel I am usually a lot calmer (go figure) but still very alert. When I get back on the highway I feel like I've just robbed a bank and got away with it!

Its an awesome feeling to have such a secret life.

3 years ago I was dead set against the hobby and used to look down on my friends that had done it but now I wish I could talk to them about it and share stories.

- On a side note, while I was typing this message my wife came into my office and started kissing me, telling me how much she loved me. We went and fucked and I came back to finish the message

These are some very good points...I have been in the hobby only since February and seen different ladies once a week..I make sure I only hobby on the 2 days my wife is at work..I am retired. So if I am gone 2 hours not an issue. We are older and soon to be grandparents, so I asked my wife jokingly if we should cut out sex and she says she is OK with that. So I can hobby once a week at the age of 66 without any problem. Like you, I keep my wife very happy and I was in a monogamous marriage for 37 years. I try to stay on the west side of town where I live. I use my Merrill Lynch debit card to get cash from ATM so there is no paper trail that goes through her. She has never looked at our monthly statement from Merrill which is typically 40 pages long. ..However, I can use some help in coming up for excuse if something should happen as I have no reason to be in some of the western suburbs I have to go to...Any help?

16 years, and she does not suspect. Never caught either. If I was caught, I would want the divorce anyway.

I have regular business meetings, so being away from the office is normal for me. Always do incall so there is no paper trail.