Having a master's degree in mongering as I do (I say with a grin) I don't think you've had enough experience to appreciate what an ATF is yet.  You're a kid in a candy store wanting to try all the different flavors so your perspective is different from a "seasoned" older guy who has sated his sweet tooth and wants more than just a quick suck and fuck.   Or you just haven't run across the gem of a girl who you want to make more of a connection with than just a one-time meeting.  I have a couple of ATFs, and when I get together with them the sex is fantastic, but the banter and the connection I make with them are just as important.  And there is a very clear understanding of what the parameters are in the relationship -- I am a client and she is a provider.  But we're friends as well.  One gal I have been seeing for a couple of years on a regular basis, we text each other just to say hello, get together once a month or so, we usually have dinner before (and we treat each other, dinner is not a pay for play, pay is for play afterwards at her place) or I bring over some dessert and wine if it's a later evening meeting.  I'm enamored by this gal, but I am not in love with her, I know where the boundaries are.  And we go back to her place for playtime, there is no clock.  It could be an hour.  It could be 90 minutes.  She never asks me to leave, but I know her time if valuable and don't push it more than 2 hours, and it's always the same rate.  And she's also UTR, she does not advertise, she has her base of clientele.  So obviously this is very different than seeing a girl that regularly advertises on TER, CV, BP or other networks.  

I still go for one-off encounters with hot, young providers, but I still see my ATFs, they are just different experiences.  There's a comfort factor with my ATFs as well that usually you do not find in first-time encounters.  So the "ATF myth" as you call it is not a myth in my life, it's very real.  Eventually the ATFs I have will go their own way, they always do, but I enjoy them while I have them.

Really, if a provider wants you to repeat, they should make you want you tp repeat by their performance. The whole ATF thing is crap IMHO.

Afterall this P4P!

If all you want to do is bust as many nuts with as many different hotties as possible, go for it!  The hobby will provide you with an inexhaustible number of ladies to play with.   Nothing wrong with that, and many hobbyists play the game that way.  Cool in my book.  On the other hand, IMO it's surprising to hear that all of your seconds have not been up to par.  In my experience, performance never flags during a second engagement.    Since most of the lovely ladies that I have met over the years prefer most of their clientele to be on a repeat or regular basis rather than an endless parade of one-timers, it makes no sense for her to let performance slide the second time with someone that just might become a regular.  Unless she would prefer to NOT see you again, that is.  As for ladies becoming faves or ATF's, that takes more than one or two meetings...and there's more to it than just her being hot and great in the sack.  These are ladies that you are comfortable with, she with you, chemistry develops, you both want to see each other again, and will sometimes engage in longer sessions that are lucrative for her, and more satisfying for you, and hopefully her as well.   In short, a relationship or friendship develops, never forgetting the boundaries of the hobby, of course.  

Just my three pennies, freshman!    

i was all about trying new things.  i guess like you, most were HIT and miss.  none really sparked an interest. a few became repeats because they were just phenomenal in the sack.  but not favorite material.  it wasn't till i sessioned with one girl that the sex was off the charts and she just seemed like a really cool person in general.  saw her countless times.  since i was still new to it and she was...well, i don't know what she was...but the bottom line is if you do find a favorite NEVER BLUR THE LINES.

I currently have 3 favorites I rotate between.  i am having some of the best sex of my life, there is a comfort level, although we don't know anything about each other personally,we still can shoot the shit and, at least i, have a great time.  my diagnosis...you have either not met a provider who just left you speechless, or you are just a dude that likes new girls all the time.  Neither one is right or wrong.  but i will say this, having a favorite or 2, or in my case 3, does have its perks...off the menu items, extra time, and they pretend they enjoy my company just a little harder :P lol

you misunderstand the ATF thing....

when you stereotype it as being about "loneliness". that is a one size fits all thing. some clients simply prefer to repeat with favorites. one could make up something equally pejorative about clients who never repeat. but why bother slamming someone simply over different habits?

the positive reasons an ATF relationship develops have to do with discovering connections that don't suffer from the problems you've described. in addition some of us prefer the comfort of dealing with someone who is sane, discreet, and fabulous. my small circle of favorites are fabulous and delightful. friendly favors exchanged are not about my paying for something either.

if there is a good thing going, seeking novelty for the sake of novelty risks various kinds of unappealing drama either from the lady herself or third parties. that's not my preference, but i can understand how clients who need novelty don't mind those risks. rarely, i'll do something wacky adventurous too. like the time i walked into an elevator in SF and there was this.....

no. too bloggish.

But my experience has been different.  I'm in the NY area, where there's lots of choice, too, and I started out wanting to see as many new girls as possible.  But I've also been back to see a select few without disappointment.  In fact, the very first gal I saw was so amazing I went back four times in the first five months.  If you come to NY maybe I'll  introduce her to you!

and each session is just as wonderful as the first, or even better.

But there is too much variety to each individual client and provider, so no one can make any rules except do what works for you and don't compare yourself to others.

By the way, I make it a point to meet a few new providers each year because sometimes things with a favorite don't work out or she retires, etc.

Either way, it's all good.

I say just have fun with it and do whatever blows up your skirt. I got back into hobbling about 6 weeks ago and have seen 9 different provides. I have taken to one in particular that I really have fun with, genuinelly like and try to see 2x a week. Yes I'm spending a lot of money but I have a summer budget and will enjoy it while I can. I much prefer the one on one intimacy with a woman particularly one that I like. Stopping off at fantasy island once or twice a week with someone I like and enjoy is what I mostly need. Yes every now and then I need a rogue provider just to fuck but I like familiarity better.  Some of it has to do with the companionship I receive in my 2 or 3 hr session and the fantasy they sell me.

Bottom line. She's my ATF as long as I can't wait to get back to see her. When that's gone, she's no longer my ATF.

-- Modified on 7/19/2011 8:25:41 AM

There's more than one way to look at this. Most have covered it. It could just be different strokes for different folks ie. you always want something/someone new or you haven't found an ATF yet.
There is something to be said for seeing someone whose company you enjoy whether there is sex or not. Don't cross the lines but familiarity has it's rewards. I look forward to seeing my ATF. We can discuss things, we catch up with each other and lend moral support when it's needed. I say ATF not ATF's because one of my ATF's just went away as far as the business is concerned. I will find another at some point because I like having more than one. I don't want to see just one too often. I like seeing new ladies too. I'm in a process of doing that now. Seems to me the best of both worlds is have a few ATF's and see new ladies too. Who knows you may find that one that really knocks your socks off and joins your ATF group.
I say No the ATF thing is not over rated. Being an ATF doesn't automatically mean she asks for rent money or car payment etc.  That is beyond ATF to me. I will add that if the second session hasn't been at least as good as the first you need to see some new ladies.  

Sometimes we just click...  other times, you feel "that was fun!" but have no compulsion to return.  That said, if I decide to return, I find that the performance is BETTER on the second or third meeting...  we both know what to expect from each other, no surprises, we can relax & enjoy our time together.

Over my past, I only had one in particular I repeated enough to be considered
my ATF. For me her thickness made me owwz and how her azz was stacked
had me in aww. Her head skills were on point and could ride me and make me
cum in seconds...she was an ex stripper..what can i say.  I did a video with her.
I was offered some freebies and threesomes with her girlfriend but wasn't around
the time I was leaving the state so never cashed in my points to see. The best
thing in my opinion of ATF is that tighter connection..that definitely helps the sex
and earns you some more things that are not offered. Regardless civvie sex or provider sex comfortableness and closeness always makes things better. The cons are being too
close or involved in their life and losing perspective. It's pathetic some of the people on
here or other boards I hear who lose perspective and end up burnt out, hustled or emotional
compromised behind this.

There was some I wanted to make ATF and repeat but those ones are the hardest
to catch up with and sometime left the business. Also when you been out here
in the game long enough fishing through ads or the pick, you don't take shit for granted.
Whether it is her curves that make your mouth water or her skills some providers trump
the competition so bad it still does it for you....until she doesn't do it anymore.

There's also a difference depending on how much access a hobbyist has to different providers.  If you live in a relatively small town, and don't travel much, then your selection may be very limited.  In that case, the definition of an "ATF" may simply be the best girl you can find in town, because you've tried everyone else in Podunkville.

On the other hand, if you live in NYC, LA, or Chicago; or you travel 30 weeks out of the year, you have a virtual smorgasbord of girls to choose from, and your expectations of an ATF will be much higher.  She has to be damn good, good enough to keep you away from the dozens of others you could be trying.