I got another one of those cutesy "cc'd" emails. It's appropriate and about Gender Semantics. Here Goes..

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1.  Yes = No
2.  No = Yes
3.  Maybe = No
4.  We need = I want..
5.  I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6.  We need to talk = I need to complain
7.  Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to
8.  Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9.  I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10.  Are you listening to me?  = Too late, you're dead
11.  You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
12.  Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
13.  You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
14.  Do you love me?  = I am going to ask for something expensive
15.  It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
16.  You're certainly attentive tonight  = Is sex all you ever think  about?
17.  I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game  on TV
18.  How much do you love me?  = I did something today that you're really not going to like

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1.  I am hungry = I am hungry
2.  I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3.  I am tired = I am tired
4.  Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5.  I love you = Let's have sex now
6.  I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7.  What's wrong?  = I guess sex is out of the question
8.  May I have this dance?  = I'd like to have sex with you
9.  Can I call you sometime?  = I'd like to have sex with you
10.  Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
11.  Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
12.  Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you
13.  You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 minutes.
14.  Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep > person and then I'd like to have sex with you.
15.  I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay