maybe some:cottage cheese in the ol' beev, while dining?....it's the cheese.poop on your  John after a nice greek session?smelly pits...or breath?---jBugs

Been seeing a "provider" friend for over 10 years - love her - she loves me - been to Europe 3 times with her - no charge. Day trips all the time. One lovely lady. Met another provider - been seeing her for 8 years - she's wonderful, smart & a doll! I would not trade either of them!

About six months ago I went to Oriental Accupressure in, I think, Bellflower (on Eastern Avenue).  I just wanted to try someplace new that I was sure would not deny full service.I was rewarded with a thin, 40(+?) year old Asian woman, probably about 5'4" 105 pounds (why do most Asian women have to be so god damn thin???!!!).My only consolation was to think "Well, at least she isn't fat" (as if she actually had a choice).  I was surprised at the low price that she quoted me, a price of $60 for full service or just a blowjob.  Part of this was related to the fact that I deliberately parked out of sight so that they could not see the Zorro-mobile and part of it was just because the place is a fucking dive!!!Anyway, I elect for just head, since I am not especially attracted to this most mature lady, who was probably just waiting on pins and needles for the mamasan to die so that she could step right in.  After about ten minutes of head, she seems exhausted and reminds me that I can fuck her for the same price.  Since she wasn't that good at head, I agreed.  I was rewarded with some decent 'reverse cowgirl' for a few minutes, but then I wanted to take charge and put her in doggystyle position.With kimchee still fresh in the air, I started pounding away doggystyle and she accepted me very nicely, allowing me deep penetration without shifting all around to mess up my rhythm as some others have done.  What did mess up my rhythm, however, was the fact that just as I was really starting to bury the bone deep inside her and had begun fantasizing that she was half her age and twenty pounds heavier, I swore that I heard a belch!  I shake it off and continue pounding away only to hear what is a definite belch.  This belching continues after about every fifth stroke inside her.The race is now on!!!  Am I going to cum first or is she going to lose her lunch first???!!!  It seems like a very tight race, but I pull it out by a hair and have a powerful orgasm, as this whole scene disgusts me so much that some sick part of me actually finds it erotic.  I thank God for my deviated septum and other sinus problems (hey, at least I didn't have to smell it), get dressed and walk out, never to return.

An Armani suit wrapped around 5'6" Iranian dude with a Checzh piece of shit 9mm wearing sunglasses and a smile. Until... He opened his shirt and showed me the gun. I reached in at kinda pulled it away from him... Long story. Lived happily ever after, but I WILL NEVER meet somebody I don't already know in a motel room. I should have known better....But it's a good story...

Luckily I have not been as fortunate as to meet Islamic jihad when I went to see a prospective provider. About the worse thing that has happen to me (other than miscommunication) is one provider (not anyone I have reviewed) said the words "You can do it!" I suddenly saw Rob Scheider's cajun man at the end of the bed. I cracked up laughing and she got pissed! I profusely apologized in between laughing...I am still sorry and you know who you are...

After all in 26 years one can see and here and do a lot of shit.Now that my altered states days are behind me I prefer to leave them as they are, the faded memory or in some blackout somewhere!Lustman!

This is not intended to be sexist or racist... just an experience I had... you asked!Well, this guy called and asked if I did couples (this happened a couple years ago, when I first started the business); sure I do (and did).  He came over (honkie) with his big black mama.  She was rather hesitant at first, but decided I could eat her out.  Well, I almost got swallowed! I dove in and almost didn't come out alive! I mean, she wouldn't let me surface for air!  "Eat that pussy!  Eat that pussy!"  I wanted to use a dildo on her, she let me do that for awhile, then it was back to work, diving through layers of flesh, hair and folds.  And, well... I have to admit... I've been in more pleasant surroundings before.He wanted to start sawing me from the rear.  I was beginning to think I wasn't getting enough compensation for all this...  Somehow I got him working on her, but I could see she was happier with me (ah well, what can I say?).  Then I noticed I had some blood in my spit!  Oooouuu.  She was still coming off her period (no wonder she smelled so ripe!).  Well, that was all I could take.  I really like to please my clients, but...By the time I got to my bathroom, I noticed my eyelashes on one eye were smashed up to my eyelid.  Hell, I had lashes hanging up on my forehead!  Wonder if I could compare notes with Mick Jagger's experience for "Brown Sugar"?  xoxo Faye Desiree

But since you brought it up, I'm with Lustman on this one.  I don't want to recall stuff like that.  However, one thing I can't get out of my mind, although I wish I could, is something I once read on another board--a provider complaining about a client leaving skid marks on her bedsheets.  Eewwwww!--modified by Girl Next Door at Fri, Mar 30, 2001, 02:36:01

I knew she was a "tall" women from her ads. She had a very pretty face, but the pictures did not disclose the rest of her body. She got good reviews and some said "she has a big girl who carries herself well"  I was thinking Anna Nicole Smith. I like a woman of substance.  She stood behind the door when I came to her apt. and closed it behind me after I entered. There she stood wearing only a bra and thong on her 400lb.+ body!  I didn't know elastic could stretch that far.  I was totally taken aback by her size but was too much of a gentleman to run for the hills. Additionally it was a hot day and her body odor was the worst. I was still fully dressed contemplating my next move when she went  down on her knees to perform a BBBJ. After 5 minutes I knew I was not going to get it up for the first time in my life.  I apologized  for my reoccuring "medical problem" and quickly dressed.  I went to pay her $200 fee for her time and she informed that she need $50 for travel.  Travel? From what planet? Being a total mensch (idiot?) I gave her $60 (damn ATM machines)and high tailed it home. All well buyer beware - YMMV.

we're glad you did'nt get assimilated in the folds...maybe you start charging by the pound...

YEP! I have tried to erase that one from my mind too. Just pops up every once in a while. We all have our experiences. Not too many of a really icky nature for me but ya sure gave us an ima"gag"ery on that one Faye! Whew, I think I prefer your kinder, gentler fantasies! Not in my venue of fantasy memories.BTW, on the topic of fantasies, Faye, I forgot one element of my Tarzan of the Bar Room Fantasy Night. (see below post by Faye on fantasies) I was wearing a suede mini and well, it kinda wound up with a Monica Lewinski dry cleaning type bill...Havent worn the skirt since I got it cleaned, but it sure does evoke memories just to look at it!

me thinks lady need go back jungle.  george waiting.

Those overseas missions where you had to find ordinances and destroy....Not the kinda missions where ya find different positions other than mish...not to mention other arsenals that can destroy the mood!

OMG...Whatever you got paid for that gig was not enough!

Ya wanna do the bungle? LOL! Watch out for that tree....

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