Here is my dilemma.

Because I am prolific provider, seeing many guys a week, I did developed a routine I use with them.

You know, setting the mood with candles & lights, fresh smelling crispy sheets, tons of fluffy pillows, bathroom filled with travel sized niceties for the gents, fridge stocked with good wine, champagne & stella artois beer.

My dates with clients are always wonderful, they appreciate being pampered and all.

But, when it comes to dating men in real life, I think I need to change or get rid of some of the stuff I do for my clients, so I don't ruin the date because I am acting...like a provider! lol

I had a client this week and he kind of opened my eyes on this subject.

He came to visit me because he wanted to see HOW a provider behaved with a client.

He was worried about his girlfriend being one, because of the things she does before, during and after sex.

After we were done, I went to fetch the infamous hot washcloth to clean him up and while I was doing it he was shaking his head and saying "NOW I am sure!"

I was puzzled and asked "sure of what?" and he told me his reason for booking with me.

He told me his girlfriend always get a hot washcloth to clean him up after sex.

I said "well she is pampering you"

He said "yes, but that gives away what she does, she is an escort behind my back, real gfs do not get up after sex to get towels for their bfs".

So...I got to think, NOW I know the little things I do is probably too much to a civvy guy right?

Tonight, I had a date with a guy I met online. He has no clue of what I do, I didn't want to blow it so, after some very hot and vigorous sex, I didn't get the hot towel lololol I just laid there and told him to go to the bathroom and clean himself if he wanted to.

I think fetching the towels for my civvy guys made them realize that I am not a real state agent, lol.

Anything else I should avoid or stop doing?

You know, the things most of us do for you before or after appointments.

I want to act like a real lazy girlfriend type, help me!

BDG







-- Modified on 12/15/2007 7:15:55 PM

Any civvie guy you date who knows the routine of a provider is in no position to be judgmental.  How would they know?  It's not common knowledge.  For instance, if you removed his condom for him afterwards, he might think you were just overly considerate, maybe a little weird.  Obviously, guys on this board would know better.

Unlike the first client you mentioned, I doubt many of your clients are doing research.  I'm sure that guy hated every minute of your session and that's what he told his GF

This got me to thinking about past relationships with girls.  (As many of you know I'm a TS and I go both ways - boys or girls, or best of all both together... giggle)

Anyway, yes, I can't ever recall a girlfriend ever bringing me a hot towel.  Though I do with boys or girls.  So yes, I guess it's an instant "outting."  But I think it's such an nice caring thing to do for your partner.

But I just now realized also, that I don't do this for my partner Jessica, and never have. (Something I'm going to change tonight.)

Sigh.

Another way to ensure they don't "make" you is tell them to empty the garbage and maybe fix some odds and ends round the house.

This allows them to show off their manly prowness and impress you.  But don't let them anywhere near electricity or plumbing.

Giggle,
TS Jamie

To act like the real lazy girlfriend type, I'd suggest taking whatever your provider instincts are telling you... and do the opposite.

For instance: Think you should clean him up after with a hot towel? Instead, tell him to get up and get YOU a towel!

Think you should get him a bottle of water if he's thirsty? Instead, tell him to get YOU a bottle of water!

etc, etc. You see? Easy as pie.

Tell him to get you a pie, too.

You should be natural and do the natural thing. Get the wash cloth. He will appreciate it.

...he might get some clues that you're a provide, especially if he happens to know or is/was a "hobbyist".

After reading your post, it brought back memories of my college girl friend.  She use to pamper me with the infamous "hot washcloth" routine, as well as disposing of the used cover afterwards.

This was many years ago, before I discovered this hobby, so I just thought she was being very considerate.  Now I'm beginning to wonder if she was moonlighting as a provider to pay her way through college ...LOL.


-- Modified on 12/15/2007 8:33:12 PM

This is a great observation!

For the 30 yrs I was married we always had handtowels in a drawer next to the bed since there was always a super-wetspot. My wife literally flowed during sex and it was not unusual for ME to wipe HER down after a hot romp.

She used to say, "Don't put your horse away wet!" LOL

With separate bathrooms we usually did our own detailed clean up. There were only a few rare times when she wiped me up and that was NOT with a wash cloth.

The only other things I can think of is to slow your pace down heading into sex. Unless you've been teasing each other for some while. And don't use any of the "trade" acronyms!

if you get married someday and you don't want the guy to know about your past you MUST stop giving him BJ's commencing on the wedding night!

My ATFs are Ashley Shye & Mia Domore (together), Adrianna Azzure, and Audrey (Miss Trouble). I've only ever had one civilian girlfriend who approached sex with the enthusiasm, skill, and ingenuity of these providers. (And, I'm beginning to wonder if she really was a civilian.)

And what does it matter if he guesses? If it is a short term relationship why care? If he has the potential of being a long term bf, I would expect that you would want him to be okay with your being a provider anyway.

Not a tip off for me. I've had women do that for me for years and when they were at my place I would do it for them... it's more of a courtesy. Now the thing that I think that might be a red flag for some guys is the expertly putting on the condom with your mouth... I love it, but I have never had a civvie do it.

Well I have  had lot of GF get the wash cloth went we where thru ,It depend on who on top at the time and who go to bath room frist. So I dont think you can tell that way. It just called being nice to your lover.

"....want to act like a lazy girlfriend."

Now you know why most guys use providers.

The problem is, a lot of signs could be interpreted as "professional" or "loose". I don't think either makes a great first impression.

Other signs:

1) Assortment of condom sizes.
2) Being able to seamlessly put on the condom with your mouth as you start the BJ.
3) Being too good at BJ. Hold back at first (dont' use all your tricks), and over time get better.
4) Watching the clock.
5) When he asks you out on a date, you ask how long a date he wants (just kidding on the last 2).

The guys is suppose to romance the lady. The lady can have a comfy place, but not stocked for a weekend of sex (unless you both planned it that way). Let him prepare the scene, and take the lead. Once you are in bed, then you can let out the wild side.

Best wishes.

-- Modified on 12/16/2007 3:29:55 AM

OMG, has everyone gotten super-paranoid all of a sudden?  It's funny how hobbyists describe the provider experience they are looking for as a Girlfriend Experience and when their girlfriend starts doing it, they suspect she is a provider.  I think the guy you saw was just looking for a reason to break up with his gf.  You just go on doing what you like doing.  The more you try to avoid messing up, the more likely it is that you will.

And don't ask him if you're his ATF!

-- Modified on 12/15/2007 10:33:30 PM

Probably the assortment of "trial size" items in the bathroom.  If it really is an issue look at it from another prospective.

As silly as this analogy will sound, when you are baby proofing a house the best way to do it is to get on your hands and knees and walk around to see what would interest a baby, i.e. sockets, cords, heating vents..etc.

If you look at it that way, think about all the stuff that was not in you place before you started adding all the "amenities" for you clients.  Then think "would whatever item it be" seem "normal" in the context of what would be in your room/ apartment/ house or would it not be something you would have in your living space.  If its not then consider it contraband and consider putting it somewhere else when not with clients.

Food for thought...let us know how "spring cleaning" works out.

I am not sure where I come down on whether the "love sponge" is an act of intimacy and courtesy or a red flag.
And if all else fails invite Martha Stewart into your home. ; )

I still clean my sweetie up after sex. I just use something warm to do it with - but not a washcloth :o )

That is the most absurd thing I have ever read.

Be it a boyfriend or a client, of course you would go and get a wash cloth! (out of respect and also just because perhaps, you are a nice and considerate  person)

Would he like it better that he keeps his 'happiness' all over him?

And when he stated "real girlfriends dont get up to get a wash cloth"????????

Perhaps HE has been hanging with the wrong type of girlfriend?

What a strange post!

ok well, just because she was considerate doesn't mean she's a provider! lol..i remember doing that with all my ex bf's ..WAY before i was a provider...so idk..maybe that's me..but i don't see how that would "give it away"

If the guy found out your "secret" and was cool with it, would you be ok with it?

you are welcome to pm me...

It reminds me of an old chestnut about how President Lincoln was told by his staff that General Grant is an alcoholic.

Lincoln replied that they should find out what General Grant has been drinking and send a case of it to all the other generals.

there aren't recipes.  It depends on who you are dealing with, and who you want to attract.

The "hot towel" habit could be picked up by any guy who ever did a tour in Asia, and ever had a weekend off; and it's very easy for people who are halfway bright to learn from each other, or even figure it out for themselves.

I'm way older than I like, and have been around the block several times.  Women who think of their partner are about the only thing I care about anymore.

If a woman is over 21, it's "don't ask, don't tell".  As long as she doesn't have some medical or psychiatric condition, I really don't care how she lost her virginity, or the other BFs.   Maybe her mother taught her to be considerate.  

Maybe the answer is that real girlfriends act like themselves, and pay attention to what's going on.

If you are dealing with a BF who can't cope with the possibility that you might have been an escort (and I would advise you to maintain plausible deniability - it is just not something that ever needs to be discussed, unless you have done time)  then you need to find somebody else who can look forward, instead of needing to look back.

A few year ago, I hooked up with a friend I hadn't seen for many years.  We flew across country to meet for a weekend.  I woke up in the morning and she was sitting next to me with a cup of coffee for me.  I will never forget that moment, and it had me thinking for months how I could arrange my life to marry her.

To be honest until I started this hobby and reading the boards, I never knew about "warm washcloth" trick.

b-

Don't get on your cell phone or computer while he's in the bathroom cleaning up.

My civvie boyfriends always used hot washcloths. They were the ones that got them for me, not the other way around.

Oh pu-leeeez!  Real life GF's (some) get up afterwords and get a freakin warm rag to clean up with...that is just ridiculous!

Ask him to toss some "keywords" out there and see if she responds back with some.  THEN he will know if she is a provider or not.

In my experience no provider I have seen had pussy odor, and exactly 1 civilian did. You need to see a more tidy group of civies...

-J


-- Modified on 12/16/2007 2:58:37 PM

My ex-wife was a ho after all...lol

It shows how rarely guys experience that kind of treatment in civvie life.

I was being a bit facetious.  You're right, by itself it wouldn't give anything away.  

My point was that someone wouldn't even look at that kind of behavior suspiciously unless he was a hobbyist at some point in his life.  Would he have the right to be judgmental then?

"Seamlessly put on a condom with your mouth"

DAMM!  And I thought I gave an out of this world bbbj! Never knew to put on the cover with my mouth! Need to start practicing the next step with my mouth instead of my hands.  Any volunteers?

Not necessarily true.  My wife still does a wonderful job at providing me with BJ.  She just won't go TC anymore.

-- Modified on 12/16/2007 7:09:12 PM

considerate, caring, etc. for your lover (civie or otherwise).  I don't imagine there are too many guys that would object to a warm washcloth afterwards, gentle cuddling in each others arms afterwards, feeding each other fruit or cheese while lying in bed between rounds, etc.

There is one lady I have seen multiple times at her incall (and will see again) that has a small steamer on the nightstand so all she has to do is reach over to pull out a warm washcloth when we are finished each round.

Don't change a thing.

Well i have always been the one to get the warm soapy wash cloth for my lady. All seemed to have appreciated this too. Remember guys take care of your woman first in every way, that includes refreshing them afterwards, and getting them a cold drink or maybe a soothing massage after sex!

I'm going to ask my next girlfriend for the HEPE
(the High End Provider Experience).

i've never been on a first date where sex was involved.
It would be great if it happened but it never has.

That might get me thinking....