I'm in LA and I'm really not happy that someone cancelled on me last minute yesteray, knowing I'd relocated hotels in a particular area just to see him, and he didn't even bother to offer some compensation for my more expensive hotel.
This isn't the first time it's happened and I wonder if clients realise how expensive and time consuming it is to be able to see them.
This economic climate doesn't lend to getting deposits on every single date - a much better way - but if a 'gentleman' has to cancel last minute, and God knows life's busy these days so I understand that, the least he can do is offer some financial compensation. It may be that we (ladies) have stayed in a hotel for a day just to have a multi-hour date with him, for example. That happened to me before in an expensive hotel in Santa Fe.
Apologies don't pay bills.
If he's never seen you before, good luck on getting compensated. He'll likely not contact you again, thinking that approach carries far too much of a penalty. Not excusing the behavior, but when I've had to cancel last minute, I've always scheduled a longer stay to compensate for the lost income. This alternative may seem more tenable to hobbyists rather than demanding that you be paid for lost time. This is a business and all businesses lose revenue from time to time for cancellations, unwanted items and so on. Unless you were staying in the hotel only for him and it doesn't sound like that was the case, then you might as well, post about your new availability rather than get mad. If you moved just for him and he drop kicked you for a lame reason, I'd be mad too. Always have a plan B.
I appreciate what you say, and you sound like a gentleman because at least you would schedule longer next time, but yes I did change hotels exclusively for him.
I don't see a lot of clients...
Tamara G x
Cancellations suck. Pure and simple. Last minute(IMO)are flat out rude,but(still)can occur for good reason. I can't imagine them very frequent however.
I'm not going to offer for your 'upgrade'. Did he ask for an upgraded locale??
I(and I can't speak for the masses)know the expense involved in cancellations. How?? Well lets leave that a mystery.
I won't do deposits. Many guys won't. That's a tough call on your part.
Should the ladies offer something for their cancellations?? I'd be a rich man.
Apologies DON'T pay the bills. Your right.
I also like extended appts. 
My sympathies to you if your op is factual. Come see me.lol
Thats not true, some men will do a deposit if you explain why you need it.Just 2 weeks ago, I had a appt set with a gentleman I had never met for a 4 hr dinner date. He wanted meto drive 2.5 hrs to see him . I told him that I needed a 10 percent deposit. gave him the info to do so. I did this to #1 make sure if he flaked or no showed and I drove there for nothing I could get home lol.
If it was a guy I had seen before I would never have asked for a deposit more than likely.
But 10 perecent was only like $70 or $80 so it was not much.
But he was willing to ddo it. I think it helps to havea good rep and reviews?
I let them get their own room. This way they can pick whatever price works for them and figure their own budget. I don't travel so it is easy to do but for you it may not work.
Kisses Haley
already pasted this post onto your blog. Be that as it may, interesting though, and perhaps it could backfire in terms of marketing.
The lesson I say you learned here is never ever go get a luxury room or upgraded whatever for a hobbyist. If he's all that and a bag of chips he can commit to a room of his liking in the area he choose. That way you can then go to home but confirm with the front desk if Mr. NumNuts is there. You also said "this isn't the first time". I would think you would change what ever policies you have in place.
There is no way he or any other guy who stiffs you on an appointment is going to compensate you for the lose. If here were of a mind to do so he would have already.
I agree very much that "Apologies don't pay bills". But, getting mad enough to post on discussion board and writing it in a blog will not do much for you bills either.
If this seems harsh, it was not meant to be. I know for a fact that most providers get slammed like this much, much more than the hobbyist gets NCNS'd on. I've heard too many stories from too many ladies to think otherwise. The difference lies in we as hobbyist do research and confirm she is not a flake from any of her reviews. You on the other hand must have the faith that this total stranger will show.
While I feel for your situation in part , I must
say that it is so important to try to resolve
issues by going DIRECT to the client before bringing it to the boards. I beieve I posted
the same concern to a hobbyist just a couple of days ago.
Instead of venting it on your website please
check with the man . Maybe he was in a car accident or there was a family emergency .This can happen and has even to me . By posting this here and on your board if something is terribly wrong do you think he is going to book with you in the future?
And NEVER upgrade a room for someone.If he wants
extra perks he can pay for that at the front desk.
Also to help you , you should book direct and in
advance and make sure he confirms with you before
you leave for the hotel so that you can easily cancel your reservation in the future and no financial loss. I'm not at all putting you down
but I do think its important to stay as calm as
you can until you hear back from the man. If
a week or two go by then I agree you have a right to be upset and consider him a NCNS time waster
but at least wait and give the man the benefit
of the doubt.
Angela
Interesting responses! I made an appointment with a woman one night and she asked for a confirmation in the morning. When the morning came and I had to cancel, she was pissed. Seems to me if you're going to ask for a confirmation, you're assuming it might not happen, and are covering your own financial ass (literally), so have little right to ask to be compensated.
Just my opinion.
I appreciate your replies and understanding.
You know if this economy didn't suck like it does there's no way I'd be conducting business like I do - yes, like taking notice of a supposedly 'great client' and paying more for an expensive hotel room. You think any lady would like to do that? Nope, nope, and nope.
Deposits are the way to go.
My point in writing about this here and on my blog is the hope to make it more obvious to those who don't realise, that there are significant costs involved for escorts in providing a convenient incall. Just because a guy can get away with not paying a deposit in this economic climate does not take away his ethical responsibility in costing an escort time and money. Real gentlemen compensate that - and they do exist.
Tamara G x
I confirm a couple hours before I book the room...and Yes...only twice at the last minute I was canceled on...I took the loss...and You move on...in one case the gentleman wanted to re-schedule and I agreed...however he had to get the room...I felt it was only fair...and he agreed...things do come up and it's to bad for the loss...but instead of getting upset...send a nice e-mail saying You understand and hope we can get together...then let them pay for the room...it becomes a win-win situation and chances are he will re-book...as long as You are Not mad and want to have a Fun time
Only once did I ask a lady to book the room. She was happy to do so, and of course I paid for it. I sometimes will ask a lady to recommend a hotel that will be convenient for her to do an outcall, as I will be doing when I visit Chicago later this year.
kidding me??? .. This is an expensive business to be in.
Tamara G x
I like to book my own room. It is very easy to do these days, book online, pay online and the hotel doesn't even get your credit card number.
If you are smart enough, you can book the room in a different name and pay for it using your real name and CC, if you want to.
Cancellations are fact of life but asking someone to do something special just for you and canceling is not a gentleman thing to do, considering the fact that money is involved and someone lost money by your action. If you have to cancel, the other person should be compensated for the expense they incurred on behalf of you and that is the Gentleman thing to do.
Obviously, the numb nut doesn't even know how spell Gentleman and he has never come across such a word or acted in a gentlemnly way all his life.
Indeed, providers do NCNS, happened to me only once and it was not a well known provider.
that help keep the price down...Hotwire..Expedia..Priceline...and so on and so forth...I stay in 3-5 star Hotels...and I don't understand by what You mean...this is an expensive business to be in???? I have to disagree with that...I get a Great lifestyle...and when I go to (if that is what You want to call it) "work" I have a Blast...I enjoy a lot of Fun and Pleasure...but to go back to the expensive business...it takes money to make money...and if You are Not making a lot of money...I am sorry to say...if the only reason You are in this...is for the money...then You are either in the wrong business or You need to regroup and look at how You are running your business. I am a low volume provider and as of March 20th it will be my 1 year anniversary and I made 3x's what I would had made at my civie job...not to mention I "worked" a fraction of the hours.
I'm just saying...maybe re-evaluate...I wish You nothing but the Best...
And, honestly BEST JOB EVER. Sure, it has it's downers, but 95% of the time my reaction after a booking is "I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST GOT PAID FOR THAT, SWEEEET."
Life is good
me that I'm not going to get into it - just comment. Others are commenting too.
After reading your blog before you toured Atlanta, I had already decided you were on my "must miss" list. After listening to you today, I wouldn't see you on a bet.
To borrow a line "when you find yourself in a hole, quit digging" would be very applicable here.
Whether it's true or not, you come across as quite "bitchy" and self-centered. I can't imagine the whitest of white knights wanting to see you after this display.
You are free to run your business any way you see fit, but remember that your customers are also free to tell you to take a hike, and that's what I am telling you today. Chill the fuck out, and quit while you are behind. Aside from that, I hope you have a very nice day. lol
It happens on both sides of the ledger -- I called a well-reviewed woman Tues. morning, she called me back later that afternoon and I gave her my screening info; we then set up an appointment for this afternoon (Wed.) She asked me to call this morning to confirm, which I did -- but since she didn't answer, I left her a voicemail. When I arrived at the general area that she said I should be in a half-hour before our appointed time, I called her for "final approach" directions. Got the voicemail again, so I left her a message saying that I was where I should be at the appointed time and was awaiting her call. Another 20 minutes goes by and it's now appointment time; call the number and, you guessed it -- voicemail. So I leave her another message, stressing that it's now appointment time and that I'm waiting for her call; I also stress that I have a limited window of opportunity today and that I'll wait another 15 minutes. Yep, the 15 minutes goes by and no return call.
So I move on, go about my daily business and will give my discretionary spending fund to someone who appreciates it enough to respond in a timely manner. She's well-reviewed, with a couple of pages of high-numbered reviews, so I'm just putting it off to one of those things. Asi es la vida (such is life) --
Thanks for the kind words, darlin' -- just one of the pitfalls in a "hobby" that must stay under the radar. We can't very well call the Better Business Bureau, now can we? Of course, that's why we participate in TER -- live and learn, carry on with our lives.
"She asked me to call this morning to confirm, which I did -- but since she didn't answer, I left her a voicemail. "
You THOUGHT you had an appt. But if you were directed to call that morning to confirm, then you really did not have an appt. Why on earth would you head to her location WITHOUT a SOLID CONFIRMATION? You cannot consider this an NS/NC on her part. It was not a solid confirmed date.
I feel bad for you, really, I do. But, if she didn't answer the phone when she gave you instructions to call, I would have gone with Plan B. It would have saved you lots of time and frustration. I am truly sorry that happened to you but that is an example of lack of communication and not NS/NC.
My opinion.
Belinda
""She asked me to call this morning to confirm, which I did -- but since she didn't answer, I left her a voicemail. "" Quote quote quote.
WTF are you saying. She asked him to call. She instructed him what she wanted him to do and he did just that. He called her with no answer, even knowing that is what she told him to do.
So, he does what any other hot-blooded hobbyist would do, thinking there could be a reason why she did not answer and he left a message. He headed over there because like any other considerate hobbyist the last thing he want to be is a freaking NCNS on HER.
So you say "lack of communication and not NS/NC", which for all of us men is total BS. I know she made plans with him and so do other men on this board. What you say only leads to further problems within the hobbyist/provider community. And in essence what you are saying is what she did is totally OK.
The only thing I fault the guy for is not outing her unprofessional ass on her regional board. This happens more often than it should as well and perpetuates the idea that "Shit I can get away with it, men are just horny stupid creatures".
Smarty, you happened to catch me on a bad day, so I am going to cut right to the chase. Smarty, I will never be one to ask all the ladies to attack a gent. So, please, get off that "circle the wagons ladies" b.s. You know nothing about me or how I operate so let's just cut that crap out right now. Just like I really know nothing about you so won't turn it personal against you either. Agreed?
And, please, reread my post. I clearly stated a number of times that I felt bad for the guy, because I honestly do. I don't talk through my ass...in other words--I say what I mean. So, please, none of this "in essensce what you are saying is what she did is totally OK". That's BS too. Because that is NOT what I said. That's what YOU said. Don't put words in my mouth that I did not say. I do honestly feel bad for him. I do think he has to take partial responsibility, that's all. I don't think what she did is totally OK but I have no clue why any man would head to a ladies in call when she is not answering her phone and not calling you back when you leave a message? what part of that makes any sense? I feel bad for him but help me to understand that logic.
What this guy described is not NS/NC. She asked him to call to confirm the morning of for a reason. Calling and leaving a voicemail is NOT confirming. Speaking to the woman directly IS confirming. If you do not confirm directly with the woman, then you do not have a solid date! sorry but you don't. I don't care that you had a TENTATIVE date planned. IF you did not confirm as she requested the morning of, then it was not an NS/NC.
More times than I can tell you, I get guys who email for a date and say, "I will call you and let you know what time I can make it over tomorrow". So, in their minds we have a date! Well, we sorta' do...but not really. We have TENTATIVE PLANS. But nothing solid..nothing confirmed as to a time of day. So, when you get around to calling me, your call goes to voice mail. Imagine my surprise when I listen to your message saying you are headed over for our date and will be here in 15 minutes! OOPS...I couldn't answer your call because just maybe I was: elbow deep in a sink full of dishes OR I was in the laundry room OR I was at the drug store buying my condom supply for the month (LOL) OR since it's finally in the mid-60's here in MN, I was out enjoying the sunshine OR I was sitting on the toilet OR I was socializing with non-hobby friends OR I was getting my nails done OR I was otherwise not available (i.e. fucking). I also didn't get your next 2 or 3 calls when you got to my location because either I was still occupied or in the shower trying like a mad woman to get clean before you did arrive. I am sorry.
Get it???? LACK OF COMMUNICATION NOT NS/NC.
Now, just to add, earlier in this thread, another guy posted how the exact opposite happened to him. The lady asked him to call to confirm and when he did and his scheduled had changed and he couldn't make it, the lady was pissed off. To me, he did exactly what he was supposed to do. I commend him for being a stand up guy. In my opinion, if there is an understanding that there is a need to call to confirm then there should also be an understanding that the tentative plan may change.
Lack of communication bites.
if you call and there is no answer there is obviously not a confirmed appointment since they never spoke.Voicemail is not a confirmation of anything if the call is not returned.
Unless you know the lady it's a bad idea to just show up without speaking to her as there may well have been a reason that she couldn't take your call.
Was she unprofessional in not returning his call at her first chance.. absolutely but this is about a lack of communication,and he should just move on to the next lady on his to do list.
I ask all my gentlemen friends to call an hour ahead to confirm the appointment and get directions,if they don't call when they are supposed to I go on with my day and make other plans.I don't just sit in the house waiting for them to call.
and, we've had a good time hijacking this thread, but...
"I ask all my gentlemen friends to call an hour ahead to confirm the appointment and get directions,if they don't call when they are supposed to I go on with my day and make other plans.I don't just sit in the house waiting for them to call." Please WTF
This is what happen as he related it. She told him to call, he called, she did not answer. He did the right thing and left a message and headed out, because perhaps she "could not get to the phone". He does not want to be a NCNS himself. He gets there and makes further calls, since she has not returned his voice message. The deal just falls through and she never did ever call him.
WTF do you call this. Please clear my mind. So we don't call it a NCNS, WTF is it? IFABDFO (I found a better deal fuck off)?
Circle the wagons is what I expected. Defending her actions of lack there of, is inexcusable.
But hey since the guy has not chosen to jump into this side discussion what the hell do we care eh? lmfao
Smarty1101, over and OUT.
I had to cancel once with a Lady I'd seen a few times. I was on the interstate when a severe downpour actually stopped all traffic... I was stopped in the high speed lane when I called her. There was no point in continuing as I'd have had no play time left. I did appologize profusely.
I managed to get free the very next day, rescheduled & we had a splend time.
I am a gentleman who cares about my lady friends. I'd hate to pay up... but I would cover the costs for a non-visit if she had incurred expenses in my behalf.
skb
Did the OP stop to consider the hobbyist may have had an emergency that came up last minute? Was there a telephone call or e-mail contact made?
I get the fact you relocated hotels to see him. Was the choice of a more expensive hotel yours or did he request hotel X?
Yes, there are expenses with every business. In the present economy, every effort needs to be made to keep cost down to maximize profit but still provide a quality product or service.
....so if you cancel are you going to pay for the gents travel time or if he got an expensive suite?......was this gent a known quantity to you or a first time customer?
In my experiences, I have been canceled on about a dozen times and myself have only canceled twice (once I called with plenty of notice, the other was traffic issue). I didn't expect anything in return for the inconveniences.
You are in a service industry and yes the economy is tough, but if you con't stand the heat you may want to get out of the kitchen.
I've never cancelled on a client and your comment 'if I can't stand the heat' etc is just excusing bad behaviour that cost me money. Why would you do that?
I recently had an experience where I canceled with a provider twice in a row. Both times I gave at least 4 hours notice, but she will not see me now. It did not occur to me to offer an extra compensation for the previous cancellations. Now I know, but think that I've burned that bridge.
I'm really pleased with some of the public and private respnse that shows that there are still considerate people who don't believe in wasting mine and other ladies' time and money. How lovely to hear from the gentlemen and great to hear from the women who don't have a doormat mentality either.
Happy St. Paddy's Day!
Tamara G x
If I feel that I cancelled too soon (a few hrs) to allow the person to reschedule with someone else - and therefore affected her income for the day - then I should make it up to her monetarily the next time. Even if not for full amt. Before I put any meeting in stone, I know already things can go big time wrong schedule wise that are beyond my control and I resolve to be fair in this instance.
Do a longer meeting and leave early or give her some more ching in the envelope and don't mention it. What would you expect if you were on the other side? Some gesture of fairness is in order I think.
you at least learned something from this. Education is expensive! You change hotels for a guy on his word he would be there? And now you are pissed at HIM? Be pissed at yourself for being so dense! Then you say this isn't the first time this has happened. I take back what I said, I'm sure you learned nothing this time, and will be back here sobbing about this at a future time. Not exactly the brightest bulb on the ole Xmas tree, HUH?
Besides that, is your whole attitude toward this business. Although your dissertation on all the red ink on your balance sheet was semi interesting, you gotta remember you were touring!
That's always a risk! Many get NO dates, and just sit by the phone or laptop with their fingers crossed. Is that why you changed hotels for ONE guy? Brilliant!
Look the only good advice you got was from AileySally, and you got pissed at her too.
You need a new line of work IMHO.
do you get off being so offensive? You can present your view in a respectful way.
Tamara G
on this point, so I'm out of the thread. I appeciate the good sense and fairness from most respondents.
Tamara G x
and fairness were those that agreed with you! I guess if you're happy with the answers that you chose to pick as the "right" answer, you're all set.
Next time, please post the answer you would like to hear so more of us could "appear" more intelligent, fair and sensible.
I gotta agree with GAG, you definitely made the "must miss" list. I've seen saucers that were less shallow! Hope you make lots of money!
Noone but you knows who he is...and he probably doesn't care..
You were given sound advice by AA and you were a complete brat to her,and to the other ladies and gents who responded to your rant.
I suggest you take a step back and take a look at the person you are presenting yourself as here.
If you bother to look at this thread you'll find that I've been appreciative of the support and understanding here, both on and off the thread.
The majority of respondents feel that he acted wrongly and compensation is due.
Tamara G x
I must be spending too much time working,Ill have to stop that and follow in your footsteps.
Starting today I vow to post right here on this board whenever I make a bad biz decision.(should I make a blog too?)
Then I can ask for opinions and talk down to anyone who suggests I might have done things differently .
Nobody's saying he wasn't wrong for cancelling last minute without offering to make it up to you somehow, either an appt another time or compensation for the hotel.
What people are trying to say is that it is YOUR business and YOU control how it is run. As such, agreeing to change hotels for ONE man is silly, unless you collect a deposit first, of course. And, that is not likely to happen.
Look, things come up and schedules change. These are business men that we see and sometimes their day changes with little to no notice. We have to be able to adapt to that and be somewhat accepting of that. It's just a part of being open for business. That doesn't mean we like it. It just means that we have to be smart about certain things. And changing hotels for ONE man is not being smart. In fact, it is financially irresponsible.
People here have tried to give you sound advice but you don't seem to be reacting very kindly to it. Little snippy comments like the ones you made here to Sensual Leigh and some of the others is not going to endear yourself to anyone. The guys will remember. Do not make that mistake.
By the way, Sensual Leigh is one of the most kind and helpful ladies on TER so please be nice to her. Okay? Same with AA. Sound marketing is not about telling people how angry you are about things. Instead, tell them how you can compromise and adapt to that same situation. Turn it into a positive...the guys will think much more highly of you!
Thanks, Belinda
I am a mean horrible person ...(now stop telling my secrets Dammit )
God, I love when you ladies talk dirty (to eachother)!
My advice is to make him/them get the hotel if they are the only client that wants that area. You are then only out travel and I would chalk that up to the price of doing business provided it's not over a 45 minute drive.
You look smoking hot!
Some people around here can be jealous of that