Thanx for the feedback from those of you with the backbone to reveal your identity & provide something constructive.
Too trusting? Yes, sometimes. In all though, the amount of times I've gotten burned pales in comparison to the amazing people I am fortunate to have in my life b/c I trusted them.
The two room-mates in a row were my examples of choice & were also trial-arrangements for several reasons, but both of them knew before I met them that I was a Provider b/c I met them through Providers & these two were (are) hypocrite Hobbyists with far less to lose in an outing-war. Maintaining a quality incall that is safe, discreet, clean, accommodating, & comfortable to all, costs a great deal of money & we Providers do have a plethora of other expenditures that is invested in the biz additionally. I don't sit so well without a substantial savings acct & it's definitely time for a different vehicle before this one is worth nothing as a trade, & I don't do car payments nor do I drive something that frequents the shop. Therefor a supportive co-industry room-mate within compliance seemed to be the thing to do at the time & I didn't worry that someone who plays on the same team as I would cause me grief during the game. But if I were ever to out them, which is not my style, they would just one-up me.
So you see, I did stay unto those I thought I could trust & I was posting a hazard of the trade which I imagined many others to have been able to relate to. I do stay to myself such as I have always done, so my habits didn't have much to variate in terms of a lifestyle change, though I have had to avoid certain friends which I miss & feel terrible about. I bite my tongue often to save face, but it is these truly evil, & in this case, hypocrisy-practitioners, that I find it difficult to turn the other cheek for. In opposition, what I should now fear is the fact that I have reiterated this post, now revealing too much information to a public that I would otherwise omit my personal details from, but I felt the need to possibly clear up any misunderstood insinuations.
I periodically deal with this same person (the room-mate) throughout life; he just wears a different face each time he intrudes & sometimes even a really difficult to detect mask over that face, making him hard to recognize until after his wrath has consumed me. Perhaps the battle with him to seek peace is one of my life-lessons if such exists, & I see no harm in attaining assistance in armor if it will help. For the record, I loathe drama & though bitching is one of my many talents, it was not my intention here, but then again, I am often misunderstood ...another flaw that's currently under construction.
Most everyone who knows me thinks I'm a genuinely good person who is honest, compassionate, & just. Most everyone. Then there are those who I've managed to piss off & what kills me is they're pissed off b/c of something harmful that they have done to me - not the other way around! It takes two to tango & I don't just sporadically go around doing things to people that cause them to hate me. Notice that when someone does something wrong to you & you confront them with it, they get mad or embarrassed & retaliate by expressing their dislike for you, & re-directing the attention away from them by appointing you as the spectacle instead. There is one thing I despise about my profession, & that is I can no longer stand up for myself when someone is evil to me. They always threaten to out me if I even hint toward confrontation or any demand they apologize or rectify the situation. For example, my last 2 room-mates cost me a large sum of money each... the first of which kept my entire deposit w/out cause b/c he has a gambling problem & didn't even pay the bills w/my monthly contributions, which is why I moved out... & the second one I had to kick out after attempting to ween his share out of him for three months, beginning each month with a balance from the month prior, & I had to pay for his damages b/c the deposit was mine. Both have dragged my profession into their unjust feeling for me by threatening to post bad reviews (though none ever appeared) & the other did out me to an acquaintance who fancied him, whom he knew had the power to impact my life with this knowledge, & I'm still dealing with that aftermath on a daily basis. I obviously didn't know what these two were capable of, had things gone sour; nothing I can do about that now, except live alone. So basically, if I should dare to irritate the wrong person, who again, obviously did something negative to me in order for me to resist, I just have to bite my tongue & allow them to walk all over me, which is something I've never been known for & find very difficult to do, b/c I am all about justice, equality, & the right to pursue happiness. And just b/c I am not ashamed of what I do, doesn't mean society isn't, which we all know, can have devastating repercussions. I know this is a hazard of the trade for many of us, unfortunately.
I have a few dudes who stalk me too.
Your problems were NOT hobby related & didn't happen because of hobbyists. Move on, and quit bitching.
I'm in an apartment where my neighbors are cool. I love it! But I think that if I were to ever provide in an another area where I wanted to provide on an extended basis, I'd rent a house.
But you're a highly reviewed provider, WHY THE HELL DO YOU HAVE ROOMMATES?!?! Business is allegedly low but it ain't that low! You're a grown up. Get your own place! LOL. I'm sure you can find a hobbyist who will co-sign it!
Why the heck are you posting this on the general board? Are you trying to get advertisement and bitch at the same time??
Sweetie you are a grown women and a well known provider - why the heck do you have roommates? and most importantly why the HECK DO YOU LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU DO?
This is your fault you got yourself into this ..
This is a secret world & yes, guys have it easier... we can switch from hobbiest to civie guy when we choose. It is more difficult for Working Ladies who must try to keep their worlds separate. Ladies, you SHOULD keep your work phone, work email etc just as separate as a hobbiest.
The profession is a lonely place because except for here... you can not open up about this side of you. As you have unfortunately discovered, knowledge is power... and you do not want to give others the power over you. It is sad that you must live your life constantly on alert, never totally revealing yourself... perhaps there are exceptions... but be very careful.
skb
Dear Ms. Stylez:
Considering the experience that you had and the series of event that transpired from those relationship, you must remember and realize that you are not the same as other people much less other woman that you come in contact on a daily basis. With that said, you need to have a new approach to life and your personal relationships that includes compartmentalization and safety with respect to your professional and personal worlds.
Your first move should be to have a living arrangement where you are by yourself or where you have a large degree of privacy to conduct your business in the hobby. This is critical because you don't need to give anyone any ammunition or opportunities to discover you professional life and to be able to use it as leverage against you. Then make sure that you spend as much time as possible in your personal life with those that you can confide in and won't judge you so that you can continue to receive unconditional love. This is essential because you need to be able to talk to someone when certain events happen which will be prejorative. Then at that point you can begin to achieve a certain level of being at ease with out anyone having anything over you.
Finally with respect to the compartmentalization issue, get a throw away phone or a voice over ip phone, so that no one can concatenate your primary phone number to your activities of being an active provider. With these rules and pieces of advice, you should be able to be functional psychologically,personally and professionally. Also you should be able to work at a companionship professional with more than a modicum of anonymity. These things are essential and mandatory to your mental and psychological preservation as a person as well as an adult companionship professional. I know that this experience was harsh but you will never be the same again as you have left the world of innocence.
Your absolutely right. And in many ways so is skb when speaking of knowledge is power and the power to remain at peace belongs to all of us. I completely understand what your saying because when I was a sprouting provider I thought it natural to let my secret be known to the one person who has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember but the moment I didn't help her out with something she, "needed", I was outed. I tried to fight that battle because I too believe in justice, equality, & the right to pursue happiness. Eventually I decided to withdrawal for my own peace of mind. That mistake is not going to be repeated.
When I first started reading the GD a month or so ago there was a poster that many did not like but he did say one thing that I completely agree with. It is a lonely existence being an escort. We do find ourselves isolated and we cannot share ourselves the way we used to. It will cost us too much if we do. Its not a matter of being ashamed or not but being an escort is not socially accepted and it is best to be quiet about it. As much as it is out against my character to let certain unjust events slide you have to in order to protect yourself from the harm that can come from someone that is angry with you and in the position to seek revenge. Being on the other side of it now having regained some peace of mind I learned the value of controlling my own fate simply by keeping to myself.
Actually, I despise drama, & that's my partial point. Seems to me, in this particular post, it's those of you choosing anonymity who are the ones seeking the drama, the ones bitching, the ones I wouldn't want pissed at me in everyday life. Please, those of you whom have never had an enemy, enlighten me; I too want to be of such the noble creature. On second thought, check that. I like who I am just fine & wouldn't trade places with anybody.
It DOES suck... but at least the ones you have met weren't looking to actually bury their prey.
HH
it happens on both sides of the envelope spiel? maybe yes, but i'm tired of pointing out the obvious.
sometimes, it's not the client or provider you meet directly, but their BUDS who are the problem.
Thanx for the feedback from those of you with the backbone to reveal your identity & provide something constructive.
Too trusting? Yes, sometimes. In all though, the amount of times I've gotten burned pales in comparison to the amazing people I am fortunate to have in my life b/c I trusted them.
The two room-mates in a row were my examples of choice & were also trial-arrangements for several reasons, but both of them knew before I met them that I was a Provider b/c I met them through Providers & these two were (are) hypocrite Hobbyists with far less to lose in an outing-war. Maintaining a quality incall that is safe, discreet, clean, accommodating, & comfortable to all, costs a great deal of money & we Providers do have a plethora of other expenditures that is invested in the biz additionally. I don't sit so well without a substantial savings acct & it's definitely time for a different vehicle before this one is worth nothing as a trade, & I don't do car payments nor do I drive something that frequents the shop. Therefor a supportive co-industry room-mate within compliance seemed to be the thing to do at the time & I didn't worry that someone who plays on the same team as I would cause me grief during the game. But if I were ever to out them, which is not my style, they would just one-up me.
So you see, I did stay unto those I thought I could trust & I was posting a hazard of the trade which I imagined many others to have been able to relate to. I do stay to myself such as I have always done, so my habits didn't have much to variate in terms of a lifestyle change, though I have had to avoid certain friends which I miss & feel terrible about. I bite my tongue often to save face, but it is these truly evil, & in this case, hypocrisy-practitioners, that I find it difficult to turn the other cheek for. In opposition, what I should now fear is the fact that I have reiterated this post, now revealing too much information to a public that I would otherwise omit my personal details from, but I felt the need to possibly clear up any misunderstood insinuations.
I periodically deal with this same person (the room-mate) throughout life; he just wears a different face each time he intrudes & sometimes even a really difficult to detect mask over that face, making him hard to recognize until after his wrath has consumed me. Perhaps the battle with him to seek peace is one of my life-lessons if such exists, & I see no harm in attaining assistance in armor if it will help. For the record, I loathe drama & though bitching is one of my many talents, it was not my intention here, but then again, I am often misunderstood ...another flaw that's currently under construction.