Howdy everyone,

No one's going to recognize this username, or my IP.  I haven't visited TER for quite a while.  My previous username was retired and wiped from the boards by the admins, at my request, when I decided to finally quit obsessing about prostitutes and seeing them.  Before that, I was a TER member for almost a decade, though for most of that time not much of a participant on these boards.  Some of you might remember me.  A couple of you have met me in person.

I got into hobbying for probably the same reasons most of you did -- boredom, curiosity, some loneliness.  I'm actually pretty good looking (or so I am frequently told by (unpaid) women, and hit on quite a bit by civvies), but I used to be rather shy, so I guess never really sowed the oats I should have as a teenager & college student.  As a result, I guess I got it out later when money could substitute for charm. Anyway, before I 'retired' from hobbying (though I'm not that old -- mid 40's), I basically did it all.  I fell in love, had women fall in love with me.  Had my wife find out, had hookers call my wife to defend me, introduced my wife to various hookers I knew.  I've seen outfits and equipment that would blow your mind, been in gang bangs on film and off, been sucked by the woman with the world record for most BJs in a session, and had every manner of weird things shoved up my ass. I've been in horribly seedy dive brothels in foreign countries, and super upscale silk and champagne suites frequented by Russian mobsters and wayward children of royalty.  I've known women on the clock, off the clock, known their husbands, kids.  I've been cried on and about, and even once cried myself.  I've pimped and pandered and photographed and helped with web sites.  I've been involved with sex worker organizations both for and against prostitution.  I've been counseled, and referred because I was too far outside what the counselor thought he/she could handle because they had never dealt with anyone like me.  But I've never done anything with anyone I suspected of being under 18, or enslaved, never been abusive, never taken unfair advantage of anyone, and always always always paid even sometimes when they tried to refuse, even if it hurt some feelings.  Even the horribly depraved like me have ethics.

Eventually I got bored.  I realized, there's no secret to anything in the business, nothing to achieve beyond the immediate cheap thrill of having someone pretend to like me.  I finally got to know enough people well enough to realize that people are just people and paying them to be friendly is a terrible way to meet them.  Whenever I met someone I really liked, I felt shitty because I wished I could have met them in a legitimate way.  And whenever I met someone I didn't like, obviously, I thought how much a waste of time and money it all was.  I honestly got bored of seeing naked women, no matter how incredibly hot they were, and getting blow jobs, and being seduced.  Finally I couldn't even get it up easily with anyone but my wife.  I went through a period where I hired girls just for the hell of it, to take them to dinner, or get them outside the brothel into the sunshine and chat, or whatever.  And they would sit and smoke with their tits hanging out and we would make small talk and eventually not even that was interesting any more.  I met some super people, incredibly talented interesting people, but so what?  I might as well have watched TV, or a movie, for all the lack of relevant reality.

Blah blah blah...

So here's the deal:  I happen to be right now in a certain foreign town and a couple weeks ago while hanging out with my son near the market square I see a woman and her daughter walking along.  And she looks at me and we recognize each other.  She owns a local brothel.  And not just any brothel, but a brothel where I once fell in love with someone, and me and that girl eventually had significant off the clock time until we finally determined never to see each other again, and that was that.  She had no way to contact me ever again, and I had no way to contact her.  I heard a while back from a former coworker that she was now retired, and I thought 'good'.  So anyway me and the brothel owner are catching up (last time I saw her she was 8 months pregnant, so I find out all about that youngest daughter, etc.), and the conversation turns very briefly to the woman I met at that brothel.  The brothel owner confirms that the girl hasn't worked there in a long time.  I don't ask anything else.  The brothel owner knows we were pretty close.  And after a few minutes we're on our way.

But yesterday on a whim -- don't know why -- I check out the website for the brothel.  There is a note on there that the girl I used to know will be there next week.  I KNOW she hasn't worked there in a while, and that she also hasn't worked in another place in a neighboring country where she used to work.  I also know that the brothel owner thought we were a sweet couple.  She practically used to push us together off the clock.

So what's the deal?  Do I go to the brothel next week and see this girl again?  I'm not going to sleep with her.  I can't.  My wife knows about this girl and the feelings I had for her, and I promised my wife I'd never have contact with her again (one of two girls I have promised to never contact again, although my wife has met others).

I'm happy having quit hobbying, really.  I have no urge to hire a hooker for anything.  It's stupid.  It doesn't make me happy any more.  And I love my wife.  There's no way I see a meeting turning romantic.  But why is she suddenly here?  She used to joke about having my baby.  I am pretty sure I couldn't have gotten her pregnant.  But she also had a plan to get artificially inseminated after she retired.  What if she wants my sperm?  Does it even have anything to do with me?  Maybe it's just some sort of weird coincidence.  I shouldn't bite.  Right?  I shouldn't bite.

Whatever your responses -- and please rip away -- thanks to TER admin, mods, and members for all the years of entertainment here.  You guys (and girls) are a twisted and glorious bunch of addicted misfits.  I love you all.