If only wives would take a good look at themselves. It's easy to put all the blame on the husband but that's not honest. I believe most of hobbiests are here for reason. Oh sure, there will always be the guys who only want variety, but I think they are the minority. There are a lot of men who would love to have that spark in their marriage they once had. It takes two to diminish the flame. It takes two honest and mature people to bring it back. There is usually enough blame to go around for both of them.
BTW, I put the link in my second post.
Here's what I said:
I am a wife too. You know the answer to your question already. No need to go to the massage parlor. You would not find answers there anyway. A marriage is full of ups and downs. This is a down, but not necessarily a deal breaker. Work through this and you could find yourself in a better marriage than you ever imagined. The question you need to ask is why. Figure out that and you stand a good chance at saving your family. Do you have the strength to get past the hurt enough to deal with him in a kind manner? You can't improve a marriage without hard work from both of you. I wish you the best and hope you can work through this together as a team.
It got me wondering. What you you say to her?
Hey guys. Haven't been around in a while because my daughter is redecorating her home. Came across an interesting post on a regional board. A wife caught her husband and wanted advise. She mostly got wise cracks from the guys. But this is a family she was thinking of breaking apart and I thought it needed a serious answer.
Here's what I said:
I am a wife too. You know the answer to your question already. No need to go to the massage parlor. You would not find answers there anyway. A marriage is full of ups and downs. This is a down, but not necessarily a deal breaker. Work through this and you could find yourself in a better marriage than you ever imagined. The question you need to ask is why. Figure out that and you stand a good chance at saving your family. Do you have the strength to get past the hurt enough to deal with him in a kind manner? You can't improve a marriage without hard work from both of you. I wish you the best and hope you can work through this together as a team.
It got me wondering. What you you say to her?
...would an aggrieved wife come to a fuck board to ask advice from hobbyists like her husband? How does she know about TER? How about a link to that thread so we can read it for ourselves?
BTW, did your daughter use Peter North as her "Decorator?"
don't know the answers to your questions but here's the link..
-- Modified on 3/13/2013 1:16:45 AM
How did "keshlegija" find The Erotic Review, and did "she" really buy a VIP membership just to ask a fuck board if "she" should follow her husband to a "non-asian" massage parlor, bust him, and divorce him?
Nothing odd about THIS situation.
-- Modified on 3/13/2013 7:27:24 AM
and posted something for his/her own mental masturbation, BUT its not a unique situation..
Any wife can find herself in her shoes if she finds out that hubby hobbies. I was once told by a provider that about 60-70% of the guys that come to her are married men..
a group of guys or gals that seek to place disturbing posts on boards like this to try and dissuade us from hobbying using these nightmarish tales of woe.
I think I've seen BS like that before on here.
for a man to want to have sex with multiple women. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Its just like me wanting to have Chinese food one day and Steak another. No reason for the "cows" of the world to be upset with the "shrimps" of the world...
Man needs variety...Period..
No matter how hard she tries and puts out, most men get bored of fucking the same pussy and sucking on the same tits day after day after day.... Now not all men cheat in reality, but they do fantasize in their thoughts. They don't cheat for various reasons like faith, fear of getting caught and divorce, embarrassment of getting caught or what have you... So a man can be happy by having sex with multiple women or be miserable by being with one..
If she really loves her guy, would she want him to be happy or sad?
I know my views are little bit extreme, but they are what they are...
Don't you think Brad Pitt is getting a little tired of fucking Angelina Jolie?
...I'll be happy to stand in for a bit
Really think this lady sat down and wrote this 6 paragraph, very polite plea to a fk board about her husbands infidelity to total strangers or would it be more likely she would be crying on a friends shoulder and said hubby would have a frying pan wound to his skull? And she used the word "provider"? I don't think so.
Some of these are for real. I recall one a couple of years ago whose handle was cuteandsmart (or something like that). She'd caught her husband cheating with a provider and wanted to understand more about this world and what attracted men to it. We ended up having an extensive on-line relationship during which she revealed a lot about herself. Could it have been bogus? Sure. I'll never know. But I'm as sure as I can be that she was for real.
Seriously, I think we don't have the information for a correct response. Men go outside for different reasons. TER rewards those who have sex with a lot of women, so any averaging of results here will be bias.
Speaking only for myself... I don't think I'd be going outside if I was satisfied at home. Some guys like strange... It's in a man's DNA to spread his seed as widely as possible. I ask her to look inward first & ask if she has throttled their sex life... at this cross roads, would a change keep him home? I don't know. Is she willing to comitt to that?
Is HE willing to stay home?
Both need to separately examine their own needs & desires... and see if there is an overlap where they could build a new & successful relationship. The old one is history. They can not go back but they can possibly go forward.
A wife... who is willing to do it all... despite her possibly older body... I feel has the inside track. SHE has the LOVE (if they can find it again) to COMBINE with the SEX which is what balads are written about. NO, provider, NO fling can do that. But if a relationship is limited to anniversary sex... the WIFE is giving away her advantage to that sexy lady either Pro or CoWorker or ??
If only wives would take a good look at themselves. It's easy to put all the blame on the husband but that's not honest. I believe most of hobbiests are here for reason. Oh sure, there will always be the guys who only want variety, but I think they are the minority. There are a lot of men who would love to have that spark in their marriage they once had. It takes two to diminish the flame. It takes two honest and mature people to bring it back. There is usually enough blame to go around for both of them.
BTW, I put the link in my second post.
Here's what I said:
I am a wife too. You know the answer to your question already. No need to go to the massage parlor. You would not find answers there anyway. A marriage is full of ups and downs. This is a down, but not necessarily a deal breaker. Work through this and you could find yourself in a better marriage than you ever imagined. The question you need to ask is why. Figure out that and you stand a good chance at saving your family. Do you have the strength to get past the hurt enough to deal with him in a kind manner? You can't improve a marriage without hard work from both of you. I wish you the best and hope you can work through this together as a team.
It got me wondering. What you you say to her?
A wife who stopped fkin her man, can't MAKE him cheat...he decides that on his own and then uses her non compliance as a justification for it...same goes for women. If you are that codependent that your actions are dictated by how another person treats you, it's time for therapy.
Don't mean that absolves the man of his choices. It's just not that simple that it's one or the other's fault. But a wife who fails as a woman... whether it's loss of interest in sex, not making her man a priority, or walking around looking like a slob... is complicit in the deterioration of her marriage. In order to fix a broken marriage, each has to own up to their own failings as a partner. It's a hard thing to do and very rarely accomplished. Don't think I would throw the husband under the bus all by himself. There's room for both of them.
before I would dare give her advice, I would have to know what her views are on marriage, monogamy, and cheating. I doubt I would toss 20 years of marriage if my man saw a hooker though, because I happen to know what most of us are thinking whilst doing this, and 90 percent of us want nothing from a married man other than his envelope.
A believes her husband is cheating and his babbling excuses do more harm than good for his defense. She asked me my opinion and I told her three things. First, I am the last person in the world who should be giving relationship advice. Second, be wary of any advice you get from others as they may be biased based on relationships to involved people or situations in their own lives. Third , and lastly, the foundation of any relationship is trust. If you don't feel you can trust the other person again can you live the rest of your life with a person you can't trust. Of course if I new how to fix relationship I would have a talk show like Dr. Phil.