I see what you're saying about Fish's comment. He didn't clearly go to where I did. Rather, it led me there. I didn't really enter the p4p until my 40s. And, at least the first few years, I didn't know to even seek out a GFE experience. And, when that first one came, it was more about the services (DFK, BBBJ, DATY, etc...), then it was about the conversation. But I did like it when there was some conversation.
That said, I have almost always had a girlfriend. Occasionally, providers will flat out ask me and I will tell them the truth. And, some have asked, "Why are you with her if you're here with me." Every time my answer is the same. "Because she is my best friend." She gets me. I get her. I enjoy eating out, seeing movies, traveling, and talking to her endlessly. But it's rare that I have both this and the sex is great. In fact, interest in sex seems to fade quicker at my age.
In my 20s and 30s, every girlfriend I had fucked like rabbits. It never crossed my mind to see an escort. Even in my early 40s it was less of an issue. Which is why when I first saw an escort, it was a one off, and it was because I wanted a hot much younger lady to fuck. It wasn't until my mid-to-late 40s that sex faded more. And, it's probably as much me as it is my girlfriends. The ones I am attracted too are wicked smart. Finding one that is a match mentally and sexually is really hard. And, if I find one that matches mentally, I take it because I would rather have a best friend. I see an escort once every month or two. That's never going to fill the lonely void if I don't have someone to spend time with between sessions.
That said, my point was always about my experience. I understand others may have different experiences.
Not even talking about deep or long chats, just… how easy it feels.
Sometimes you can tell straight away. If it flows, everything else kind of follows. If it doesn’t, you notice it even if everything else is fine.
I’ve had situations where nothing special really happened, but the conversation was good and it just felt easy overall.
And other times where everything looked right on paper, but it felt a bit flat just because the interaction wasn’t there.
Maybe it’s just me, but it feels like a big part of it.
Anyone else notice this or do you not really care about that side?
I get into great conversations.
Of course sex is still the main draw, but unlike in earlier days, it's not a blowout.
Woody Allen wrote a short story about it:
Yeah I get that. It’s like the priority shifts a bit over time. The physical side is still there obviously, but if the conversation clicks it just makes everything feel more… complete I guess.
Not so much on a quick one hour date.
Dinner dates, overnights & vacations yes the conversation is a prelude to a kiss. 💋
Yeah that’s fair, longer bookings definitely give more space for that. But even on a short one, I feel like you can still pick up on the vibe pretty quickly.
Great convo is often a precursor to great sex! This isnt always the case but I find it to be the norm. Its not just from my side. I have found many women need some time to get to know you, feel comfortable with you, have some sort of bond or connection before "getting busy." lol.
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It goes towards trust. Meeting up, especially for the first time, each side wants to make sure that the sane, decent person they thought they were meeting in the verification process is roughly the same when they meet face to face. Those first few moments can be a littel awkward at times, but once each party greets the other warmly and kindly, both can relax a bit and settle in with some great conversation.
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Those moments are often crucial to how the rest of the date unfolds, and truth be told, I find them exciting as I never quite know what I am getting until that door opens.
Yeah that makes a lot of sense. I think that initial comfort and trust you’re talking about is a big part of it. Once that’s there, everything else just tends to fall into place naturally.
Good conversation certainly can be part of the experience. And, I do prefer it. But half, for me, is a stretch. If it was just for conversation, I wouldn't be seeing an escort. The main goal is the sex. While good conversation can make the sex better, it's still about the sex. I'm not trying to make new friends. I'm trying to have a good time getting my rocks off.
If it were truly half the experience, I would be disappointed more than half the time. It's the rare gem where we connect organically in conversation. But at the end of the day, if the conversation is okay (not bad) and the sex is great, I'm super pleased. But if the conversation is great, and the sex is just okay, I'm disappointed. They are not equal.
Mind you, if she's too fake with her conversation, unfocused, and/or unable to converse, it can make it harder to enjoy the sex. But she doesn't have to be great at it. I have had shy providers who struggled to find the right words. I was with another who was very socially awkward. And, there have been many where English wasn't their first language, but they seemed genuine and they tried. None of these situations stopped the sex from being good.
But sure, if the conversation is great too, that might be the true home run. So it does count. I just put it more in the 10%-15% range. It's like the icing on the cake, just not half of it.
-- Modified on 4/10/2026 8:16:25 AM
I get what you’re saying. I don’t think it replaces the physical side either, but I do notice that when the interaction is missing, even if everything else is technically good, it just doesn’t hit the same.
But im here for the sex. That mouth isnt doing much for me just flapping lips. Unless im clapping cheeks at that moment.
I can usually meet a gal at any given moment during an average day and strike up a convo. Im not going to pay for that. For the same reason im not paying for vanilla sex. And because its not easy to meet a hot and hung tgal, i prefer to juet pay for what i am looking for.
Now...if i was not lucky enough to be able to do this, maybe i would be lonely enough to care what the provider wants to talk about. Everyones expereince is different.
Fair enough, different priorities. I just find when there’s even a bit of genuine interaction, it tends to make everything flow better overall.
Not me.
Do I love the afterglow when the 2 of us (or 3 of us) are lying around naked, glistening and idly chatting? Absolutely. I cherish those moments. But that's not "half" the value of the session for me.
-- Modified on 4/10/2026 8:58:24 AM
Anytime I find myself drawn to meet someone and the rate is right I try to book 2 hours. In one case I flew to Salt Lake City to meet a lady I was super interested in and booked 4 hours (her rate structure really encourages longer dates). My usual appointments are an hour or 90 minutes most.
In no way do I expect or desire 2-4 hours of "action" - the extra time is set aside for getting to know the lady better and vice versa which, to me, enhances the physical part and helps to build a stronger connection, which, in turn, enhances the pleasure received from intimacy.
I know one lady who I've seen numerous times and we each know a lot about each other. Not too long ago she told me that sex with me is really great and she attributes it to us knowing each other so well. I found myself in complete agreement.
That’s kind of what I was getting at. When you have the time to relax into it a bit, everything just feels more natural. Not rushed, not forced.
and I think what you're getting at with the "how easy it feels" is largely unrelated to conversation but what I would call good host manners and skills. Some old comment I read somewhere made the point about manners not really being about refined culture but rather the simple ability to make others feel comfortable.
The best sessions I've had were all will women that had that skill. They could make one feel welcome, comfortable and at easy almost right a way. But it's not really about just talking but the entire experience -- while often there were no awkward moments and everything felt relaxed and we interacted physically, sensually, sexually, and mentally very smoothly.
But, it's also a situation where different people are looking for a different experience so it's not clear to me that everyone will read that type of description and think "that's what I'm looking for" some just want the raw sex and to some extent the tension and adrenaline of a less comfortable, easy feeling experience.
However a very skilled and intuitive provider might be able to satisfy both types of customers (and other types too) but suspect they all have their own preferred sessions that make things less work or stressful for them.
That’s a good point too about different people wanting different things. I guess I just tend to notice that “easy” feeling more, but I can see why not everyone is looking for that.
I think it’s a big part of it.
When the interaction feels natural and easy, it creates a level of comfort that makes everything else better.
It doesn’t have to be deep, but even a brief moment of genuine connection can shift the whole experience.
Definitely a facet of FMTY, Vacations
0vernights and Dinner Engagements.
There's nothing more seductive imho,
then flirting and mental foreplay, during
a flight for a luxury weekend getaway, or
over a meal.
That's the reason for a concise dossier
of who I am when not under-the-covers.
....this was a "feminine" thing where girls want to get to "know you" before they sleep with you, hence why dating was invented. I remember them interviewing a female porn star once on one of the podcasts and she said that the scenes she enjoyed the most were the ones where she got to chat with and make a connection with her male co-star before the shoot, not always the most "hung" or attractive dude.
I found out that applies to me as well. The experience is so much better when you guys "click" and genuinely get along and have things in common and like talking to one another. When she seems cold and distant and is clearly faking it, the fun is sucked out of it. I get that she may not be feeling you, but if that is the case, then maybe consider another line of work because the guys that regularly hire SWers are probably not the type that are good around women.
Interestingly enough, the provider I know I had the BEST experience with so far was the one that emails me from time to time to let me know her tour schedule so she probably felt the exact same way and wants to develop me as a long-term client. (which is great - I think more providers should reach out to favorite clients to encourage them to book again)
"guys that regularly hire SWers are probably not the type that are good around women"....
~~ brokeloser123
You'd be surprised!
Your statement as quoted above, in my experience, is about 50% of the gentlemen
are indeed, awkward, shy, average or
under-average-looking, somewhat
inexperienced lovers; even at any age range.
( Most men know, women don't usually abide
by "sex-on-demand" unless you've communicated extensively, wined/dined/gifted expensively, or it's in "The Pre-Nup" )
The other 50% of Clients are Men whom fall into various categories:
• "Sex Addicts"
• Travelling Businessmen sometimes are both
savvy in the boardroom & bedroom
• Men whom are sexually-unfulfilled in their
relationships
• Men whom are single, however fatigued
by "the dating ritual"....
Said costly result;
Boring "vanilla missionary, sans Bj's"
when desiring a "PSE"
• Professional Athletes whom get hundreds
of women, yet desire the company of a
"Pro";
"Pro" offers discretionary fantasy, leaves
promptly when the "game timer" buzzes
Some said Athletes hire,
"travel to them / with them" whether
they're single or married because I'm
attentive, yet unobtrusively laid-back,
especially during extended stays
• Men in their "Golden Years";
sometimes loneliness prevails
• Men whom have " hidden" sexual proclivities
I'm curious if you've ever had a female client? If so what is your view on their comfort around sex workers?
Indeed I've had female Clients.
One has become my "Civvie" friend.
The few were a bit timid at first, but
then were unstoppable for the
remainder of rendezvous!
I agree the connection side makes a big difference, especially when it feels natural vs forced. Not sure I’d put it down to gender though, I think it’s more about how people experience comfort and chemistry in general.
I'm pretty good at chatting and making nervous women feel at ease, lol. I perfected the technique in strip clubs and having a good verbal exchange is essential for someone like me to make sure my often bi-curious partner is comfortable and the chemistry is good.
I pay for good sex! Good bbbjdt! Good CIM! Good DFK! Good vibes and sexual tension! This is 90% of the session for me! One of my favs always says she missed me, and she loves my cock! She also purrs and moans her enjoyment during our session! That amounts to two minutes of talk during the session! What brings me back is the great sex and mind boggling bbbjcim finish every time! Talk is cheap to me, and any good provider can engage in five minutes worth of sexy stimulatiing banter! Beyond that save it for after she delivers a world class performance in the sex department! That’s 90% of the session for me. The convo is 5-10%.
Yeah I think we’re just weighting different parts of it. For me it’s less about conversation itself and more about how it affects the overall feel while you’re there.
The fun is always better when you know each other.
I’m a conversationalist myself and enjoy it when the provider is as well. Sets the vibe for me when we get to know each other a little bit. I’m a major GFE type though and it seems most providers I seek out for that service like to start that way as well. Although there has been a couple that shut me up pretty quick and got things going right away I guess, ha
the experience if it is intelligent but light, but is it HALF the experience? Not by a long shot, unless the customer is stalling the action waiting for the boner-meds to kick in. Then a verbal tap dance can help save face.
Bad conversation can hurt a session way more than good conversation can improve it. We all, on both sides, hope, and expect, a light and breezy flow of conversation. When that happens it’s great, but it’s not totally unexpected. These well reviewed providers are professionals after all and generally know how to handle themselves. Same thing with the men. Most guys want a good session and aren’t going to ruin the mood by being an ass. However, when conversations get awkward, those are the kind of sessions that stand out in a bad way and tend to determine future repeat business, on both sides. I wouldn’t be surprised if providers feel the same way about this, which is perfectly understandable and natural.
Excellent point. It’s always challenging to get through a session when the conversation isn’t going well. What immediately comes to mind is controversial topics/politics as a topic of discussion. As a professional, I may smile and nod, avoid conflict, while internally disagreeing with what you are saying.
The flip side is that every once in a while you meet someone that you absolutely click with and are completely energized by the conversation. The times where you were booked for 2 hours in the evening and you are still there the next morning. Rare but they do happen.
"The times where you were booked for 2 hours in the evening and you are still there the next morning. Rare but they do happen. "
so you become friends with them?
“so you become friends with them?”
I have definitely become friends with some of my clients and I even became romantically involved with one many years ago. Those connections are rare but not completely unheard of.
That said, I do like to visit a bit with an adult beverage to break the ice whether it is a new acquaintance or catching up with a regular. Without a bit of personal connection and a feeling for my companion's likes and dislikes or current activities outside the hobby, the visit just seems too mechanical.
While a little icebreaker is nice, convo before the main event can smell of a time waster, especially if I booked a session longer than an hour.
Save the conversation for recovery time between rounds, or if there's no time for another round.
Otoh, if I'm with a regular, it doesn't really matter, before, during, or after. She knows how to please me and what subjects make for great conversation.
The 'E'xperience is what makes the GF a total package. The conversation is 60% plus for me. I can get right into the conversation with some amazing ladies like we've know each as GF. It just makes it more satisfying for me. Once we are comfortable with each other, the TGFE (T for temporary 
, will include dinners, outings, movies, etc... The key is no drama or commitment and just fun time at that instant.
Too often the phrase "girl friend experience" just implies what kinds of sexual experiences one can expect, or not expect; and totally ignores what having a girl friend, albeit for only a brief moment of time, is really about.
To the head of the class, sir.
Really to have a true girlfriend experience, you would need to be a repeat customer. The getting to know you for the first time chit chat is more like first date conversation. But it’s certainly a way to get the process started.
I have had many, many true GFE dates in this lifestyle on a first meet up. It's one of the main reasons I see that same girl again and its also why I love this realm as much as I do.
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Even when there are times I dont get to see that same girl again due to geography, or she leaves the business shortly afterward, etc, I still consider those dates to be GFE even If we met just that one time.
Correct Robert. Some women are so warm and engaging that it feels like you've known them for a long time, even though it is the first meet.
Not sure how I lost you. The conversation shifted to how it would feel to be with a true girlfriend. You don’t go out and pick a lady you never met before and say, “You, you’re my girlfriend now.” A true girlfriend is someone who you have already gotten to know. This could be someone you have been friends with for a while, someone you met and asked out on a date, someone you met through a dating app, or what have you. Over the course of dating, you get to know each other before you become girlfriend and boyfriend.
By the time you call her your girlfriend, you both know each other. The conversation with someone you know is not the same as it is with someone you’re meeting for a first time. At least it’s not for me. I know the difference. Maybe you’re suggesting some of your dates make it feel this way. That’s not the case for me. I had too many real life girlfriends for anyone to be able to emulate that feeling on a first meeting.
The intimacy certainly can still feel GFE, especially by how some define it. Heck, even the conversation can fall into what many call GFE in the sex worker world. Both of these matter. But once you cross into the conversation being just like it would be with a true girlfriend, for me it just can’t be on a first meeting. It would have to occur over time. Once the provider got to know me better, and me her, then it can be like the real girlfriends I have had.
When Mr Fish said "... a girl friend, albeit for only a brief moment of time", my natural assumption was he was speaking about this lifestyle, and not the real world. Of course p4p isnt EXACTLY like a RW girlfriend sitch. Its more of an illusion I pay for. I kinda thought that was just a given.
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I was more pushing back on this line: "Really to have a true girlfriend experience, you would need to be a repeat customer." That just isnt the case with me at all. Again, in the p4p world, I have experienced this many times on a first date, but perhaps we have vastly different experiences.
I see what you're saying about Fish's comment. He didn't clearly go to where I did. Rather, it led me there. I didn't really enter the p4p until my 40s. And, at least the first few years, I didn't know to even seek out a GFE experience. And, when that first one came, it was more about the services (DFK, BBBJ, DATY, etc...), then it was about the conversation. But I did like it when there was some conversation.
That said, I have almost always had a girlfriend. Occasionally, providers will flat out ask me and I will tell them the truth. And, some have asked, "Why are you with her if you're here with me." Every time my answer is the same. "Because she is my best friend." She gets me. I get her. I enjoy eating out, seeing movies, traveling, and talking to her endlessly. But it's rare that I have both this and the sex is great. In fact, interest in sex seems to fade quicker at my age.
In my 20s and 30s, every girlfriend I had fucked like rabbits. It never crossed my mind to see an escort. Even in my early 40s it was less of an issue. Which is why when I first saw an escort, it was a one off, and it was because I wanted a hot much younger lady to fuck. It wasn't until my mid-to-late 40s that sex faded more. And, it's probably as much me as it is my girlfriends. The ones I am attracted too are wicked smart. Finding one that is a match mentally and sexually is really hard. And, if I find one that matches mentally, I take it because I would rather have a best friend. I see an escort once every month or two. That's never going to fill the lonely void if I don't have someone to spend time with between sessions.
That said, my point was always about my experience. I understand others may have different experiences.