Not sure why I'm posting this here. I figured maybe some folks in this community could relate and share advice.

There are plenty of websites out there which cater to variety of guys. Guys over 50, Black Guys, Jewish Singles etc.  Or you can find more generic ones like Match or E-Harmony. One of my friends found his girl friend on OKCupid.  It really doesn't take much to approach women on dating websites, does it? I mean you are behind the Internet. Worst thing she will say is NO..

It sounds like you need to go out, get a "real" GF, have your heart broken, and learn how the "other side' lives.

You might find that a relationship built on something besides a financial transaction might be just what you have been missing all your life. or you might find out that you like your life exactly how it is all along. Either way, you really do owe it to yourself to find out if this it really bothering you.

Personally I find myself bouncing back and forth between the two worlds with a lot of lines being blurred and downright crossed all the time, but before anyone decides to offer me advice, let me clarify that I am completely happy with the way I choose to live my life and I have no intentions of asking anyone for their approval. lol

As for you, I am simply offering my two cents, which may or may not actually need adjusting for inflation. lol

in -non-P4P sex -  but the service levels are more variable :p

Depending on how old you are I'd suggest you seek professional counseling. I doubt than advice given here (including mine) will solve your problems but, good luck.

An of course you won't confuse any of us with  the Love Doctor, because we're all here with you, but we've all earned a few scars along the way and here are the benefits of a few that I have:

You need to give Wicked Brut lessons on how to deliver a punch line. lol

I also started seeing providers at a young age.  Almost all of my first experiences were p4p.  I tried dating, but I never had the moves, nor the looks.  The women I was interested in we're never interested in me.  I was friend zoned everywhere I went.  Making the leap to civvie relationships seemed impossible.  To this day I can't count the number of women I've been with (but figure 10-15 per year for over 26 years since I lost my cherry, with several as repeats or threepeats.  Out of all those women, only 4 were civvies.  One was a long term girlfriend, one was a one night stand and one was a neighbor, also a one timer.  The last is my wife.  It's tough to see how to make the leap in real life from girl you just met to Girl you date, bang and perhaps have a relationship with beyond sex.  P4p is easier.  Real life is hard.  In the end, while P4p will keep your libido happy, your heart yearns for something to hold onto.  At least it did for me.  The jury is still out if we'll live happily ever after with me playing around with providers behind her back, but hell, a guy does not live by steak alone.  Sometimes some garnish, or a nice dessert completes the meal.

And I am running a little low on humor today..

This is the best advice the OP has received here.  He clearly is troubled and never fully matured in terms of forming long-term relationships.  But the trouble is, most of us on this board haven't been great at it either. For example, I've been married twice and blown it twice.  At least, like some others here as well, I'm happy.
So I'd second cooper's advice and suggest the OP get some help, do some self-relfection and see what happens.  Change, however, is hard.
Good luck.

even though i dont want a girlfriend and have no plans of settling down anytime soon i often find myself wanting companionship, especially after i finish
and i too never really had any serious relationship, i wonder how p4p will effect us youngster

that is gonna be hard as hell to break loose from. You might want to consider some kind of counseling because it sure doesn't sound like you can quit this lifestyle on your own.

in the level of intimacy if you see them regularly or exclusively.  I've been seeing one weekly exclusively for two hours paid, four to six hours actual for seven months.  It has been a wonderful if financially tasking, relationship.  We had a talk early on about keeping it real, but ...  She's a part timer sees only regulars and who wants to get out of the business but can't afford to right now.

... stay here and you'll be reading about the health risks associated with pussy cottage cheese.   No matter how bad civie dating gets, it will have to go a long way to be worse than that.

-- Modified on 8/24/2014 7:53:54 PM

just as in any workplace, people meet who just click and the interest at least to a degree can become personal......

There is sex, and love, of course, but what keeps them going is friendship and compatibility. Courtesy, honesty, and respect cannot be underestimated in a relationship with someone you see everyday.  

Ehh but then again it works both ways. I always hear of how married men say it sucks and how they wish they can be chasing women again. Unless you can find the one true love of your life, if that even exists, i think people will always want what they cant have.

I'm single too, and while I've learned a lot during my time in the hobby, I"ll probably be exiting soon, as I also desire intimacy. Best of luck to you, hope you find what makes you happy.

You are messed up relationship wise. What you should have learned in your late teens, early 20's, you did not. There is no short cut. You have to go back to square one, and learn how to date ladies.

as well -   just so they can get off of the treadmill and have a steady income....

I"m sure the entire board joins me in wishing you the best of luck, as soon as possible.

Correct. You (the OP) need to learn how to interact intimately with women in ways that don't involve leaving an envelope. You need to have the experience of a real relationship, with its ups and downs, and strong emotions. Right now you sound emotionless. There's constantly posts on this forum from guys who are seeking that relationship experience from GFE providers, and it almost never happens.  

In fact, one of the quickest ways to run me off as a client is to start with the OTC stuff. A little here and there is fine, as long as it can be chalked up to loyal customer service practices. Anything beyond that and I run for the hills. The problem with extensive OTC is the inevitable development of unspoken/implicit expectations and it almost never ends well. Stay in your lane and play your position.

Well, I don't know about you, but I treat my mechanic like a buddy when he fixes my car or changes my oil.  I pay him exorbitant amounts of cash to do so.  We are polite to each other, make small talk, laugh and joke.  I've even gone so far as to tip him when he has done an awesome job.  Yet I don't expect to see him outside of his garage.  Nor do I expect to be best friends with him.  I have real friends for that.

I'm using "cum bucket" as the lowest perception of a provider by a guy.  IOW, no consideration for her humanity or for her as a person.

Yes, it's a little fake-ish on first meetings, but just like with all social interactions we're really just meeting each other's representatives at first. After a while you let your guard down and build a real rapport. Intimacy comes from shared experiences, so the more you share with someone, the deeper the intimacy. This can be achieved in a provider-client relationship. If the money bothers you, just consider that you are compensating her to go out of her way at attend to your needs and desires. You can also take the viewpoint that she needs the money and you're helping her out, in a quid pro quo kind of way. Good luck!

It strikes me that my relationships with escorts are more honest than those I had with civies, for reasons that are not too hard to fathom.

But I don't think that issue is the crux of what is truly bothering you.

The issue of not being able to relate to the opposite sex and form a lasting relationship leading perhaps to matrimony can have myriads of causes, and to diagnose and treat you through a thread like this would be irresponsible.

My suggestion is that you see a good councilor who has experience in the problems you have.  That's what I did, and it worked.

I have a legit masseuse who comes to my house once or twice a week as a regular thing now for several years.

There was a point where I was really falling for her.  Somehow or other, I managed to keep myself from going totally bananas over the situation.  She's simply too good as a a massage therapist for me to want to mess up a good thing by turning it into a "relationship"...

Also, with her visiting so often, you know how it goes:  You'll tell your bartender (or massage therapist) things you would never tell your spouse, or your doctor, even sometimes your shrink.

Once I revealed that I have "hobbies", that totally slammed the door on us being anything other than friends and legit masseuse/client.

But that's ok.  She's worth more to me a "life coach" and massage therapist.  Just always be careful.  Men are terrible when it comes to reading more into interactions with women than actually exists.

(Not that I'd know anything about that from personal experience....)  

but I've never had one worth a fuck that didn't at least start off that way.

Please keep in mind this is a "fuck" board, not Match.com

Also remember MANY of the guys here suffer from "perpetual friend" syndrome.

I almost alway feel "empty" after seeing a provider, or at least my "sack" feels that way,  as it should I might add.

People who start off in P4P when they are young see both games in a different light than those who lived most of their lives in relationships and then took up the hobby when they either started going to seed or were put out to pasture in their latter years.

A few months in this world had a rather interesting effect on me. First girl I had sex with after,  I found myself calculating how much I'd spent. Then I learned that particular girl could be useful to me in other ways so I let her use me for sex so I could use her to help me with what she did for her day job.  

Get professional help.  
Make female friends. Get a hobby where you can meet women.
Gotta try things if you to live life.

and I think that men, whether they are away or not, do put a value on a female - how much she is worth to him. ..whether or not she is a provider.