Months back I posted a thread (I think I did! Well, months ago...) about losing one of my best buddies (who also sometimes did the business with me), becuz she brought a horrible boyfriend into her life and chose him over me, and he judged me for the business (basically he separated us). I knew the guy was poison, but what can you do?  The pain over losing her as a friend lasted for about 6 months, then I let go of the situation and her, and it bothered me much less. Anyway, she called me today and we got together. What a difference an (almost) year can make! She really spiraled downwards in her dance with this guy. I feel like I've grown immensely in the area of sacred sex. And yet, we reconnected and I could see our mirror image (her image in me, mine in her)! She's completely in the past: she's so caught up in getting over this guy, she talks about him incessantly. On the other hand, I'm caught up in trying to make my website work: answering e-mails; doing photo, video, live cam shoots; talking on message boards (including my own); doing the biz; etc etc. But what all that adds up to is: I'm distracted, living in the future! It's all the same... just missing the present. Not being in the moment. Wow. And what else is there? XO Faye Desiree

Hi Faye, this is Chrissie. I came here months ago looking for my sister(she left to get into the biz). She has turned up tonight, with a cop BF and wants to make up. What a coincidence, they need us now but we're not there waiting. We have gone on, and are the better for it, I might ad!               HuGGz,                      Chrissie

For each of us has our own reasons.LM--modified by lustman at Sun, May 27, 2001, 23:10:48

Faye, Chrissie!  Synchronicity!  Communication on  this web can show how we are all really tied together in mass consciousness!Growth, pain, gratitude.  Keep on keeping on, let's!I had different plans for the weekend than what ended up happening (life is what happens when…)  What happened was painful yet healing.  In fact so intensely so that I need  a couple of days recovery time. Whew!This involves issues of betrayal, trust. A valued male friend who at one time hurt me pretty badly through lies and deception, and another  male acquaintance.  My Valued Friend and I  had been in the process of rebuilding trust  and slowly it seemed to be working.  But last night, while in his company,(Call him Frank)  I received a disturbing voicemail from my male Acquaintance, (call him Adamant, accusing  me of setting up a sick   phonecall he had received.  Because the sick phonecall was in a man’s voice, Adamant insisted on talking to Frank, in whose company I'd been around the time of  the sick phonecall. Frank graciously consented. Adamant took that as a sign of guilt and weakness, of backing down because he'd been "caught".  Furthermore, Adamant insisted that the voice was the same, so he subjected me to verbal nastiness for playing a rude joke and having "sick friends".  Then I in turn punished myself and Frank further by doubting Frank's word that he had not snuck out behind my  back to make this phonecall, since I knew I was not the one to induce it.  It was all so bizarre, but, well, the voice being the same? The memories of Frank's past bad behavior?Today, Adamant insisted on coming over to the hotel where i've been spending the weekend (supposedly vacationing, lol), in order to crossexamine me as to whether or not I had actually put Frank up to the perverted phone call. Although he then "exonerated" me,  Adamant screamed and shouted at me, making  sure I knew that Frank's head would roll should these phonecalls continue.  (Adamant is convinced the voice on the phonecall was Frank's, but interestingly, Frank never even knew Adamant's phone number - or does he?  Is Frank really and truly deeply twisted, was I in dangerous company?  My mind played tricks under the pressure.) Talk about poor Frank guilty until proven innocent!  (I didn’t even know if there had actually been a phonecall, but I believed there had been.) I was tormented.   I had also hurt Frank with my questions of doubt.  Through a painful day and night, I am happy to say, that I chose to continue to  trust Frank.  I am grateful for my decision and not allowing doubt, someone else's insistence,  and circumstantial evidence to destroy the rebuilding of a treasured friendship.Frank and I are still both in quite a bit of pain because of what happened, but have decided to treat this as a test we have just passed in rebuilding our friendship.Whew.  Exhausted.  Happy to be growing, though xoxofelicia foxx--modified by feliciafoxx at Mon, May 28, 2001, 15:45:32

Hard read FF, maybe I will listen to what my sister has to say. It's been two years and a half mile between us,what a memorable Memorial Day Weekend guys!!!

Hey Chrissie, Hi! Good to see you back I was an emotional mess today, so that post was a hard write too; Perhaps I shall try to edit. thanks for reading it though...I wish you well with your sister; remember that healing has it's time, and it's wonderful when that time arrives xoxoff

Hi to you back! The emotional wound is a hard one to survive. For people to call your honesty into question or impute wrong motives to a person is hard to handle. While we all here know there is a thing called privacy(real names, personal data on the board)we all seem to share an emotional openess, a sharing of true feelings. Anger, jealousy, guilt, shame, lust and love.  Everyone knows that sex is great for evoking  an emotional bond between people. Some run from it, some seek it, some are just confused by the power it has over them. I too am verbose at times, and this is one of them. I am no gifted writer, I just wanted to share my perception of this little cyber "Home Town".                    HuGGz,                       ChrissiePS FF what I meant by "hard read" was hard to read, emotionally difficult, not hard to understand.--modified by chrissie dahl at Mon, May 28, 2001, 02:23:44

Felicia: I suppose Adamant is not interested in finding the truth only validating his own feelings?CD:  I know it takes time to heal old wounds, but family remains family despite trials and tribulations.  I am fortunate that the difficulties between myself and my brother had long been resolved prior to his untimely death just a few short years ago.Do what you can to keep your side of the street clean and let the old wounds heal if you can, because tomorrow may be too late.Just my two centsLustman

I love it when the ladies post!  Guys, please let's be polite and respectful and not scare them away.  The more the ladies post, the more we can see them as beautiful human beings with feelings, not just objects.There are some very awesome ladies out there!

Live in the moment... A lot harder than it sounds. With the pain of the past (why do we only obsess with the painful moments of the past rather than the glory?!!?) and the uncertainty of the future, it is a comfortable trap, no.I think staying in the moment is developed like any other skill, with practice and exercise.I wish everyone here a safe and wonderful day. Today

I do agree with mojo, there are some incredible ladies out there and we need to be just as nice to them on the net as we would in person. FF, i will never understand the boneheads of the world. Everyone knows you and knows that you are a class act and would not even waste your time on a sick joke with another hobbyists.I have noticed the same parralels with the hobby and the business I am in. It is amazing how people are when they want something from you. Last year, I heard how if we should suddenly lose our jobs, how people would take care of me by giving me leads or helping me find a job. Just keep on the 24/7 attitude I have with getting things done and everything would be alright.I took care of people, did my job and then Kapow! I was laid off in Febuary. Suddenly I looked around and discovered i was utterly and completely alone and I had to do something about it. People were not returning my calls, I never got leads and I was unemployed.Well, I took a not-so-great job and now am looking for somewhat-better-job. I know it is out there somewhere it just takes time to find it. I still have the 24/7 attitude and I know that will pay-off eventually. It is just going to take time.But I agree with everyone with the attitude about everyone wants something and then when they get it, goodbye. Luckily, I have met a few that want nothing at all, just a person to listen.

Dear Neverwuz, Lustman, Mojo, Straightman... Thanks, you men for being here.  I forgot to mention that neither "Frank" nor "Adamant" are hobbyists.  I believe Adamant would make a rather nasty hobbyist, but I know that if he got on this board, it would be a great education for him to chat with you men, if he would only allow a shaft of light to pierce through his congealed pate of a brain.  Regarding his attitude well,  that is why Adamant never became more than an acquaintance ... although because he thinks he understands what I do for living, he chose me to blame for his unfortunate phone call.  Yes, I am way too busy and dont and never cared to dwell in the realm of which i stood accused.  Neverwuz, being cut off from a job as you did is so painful; we begin to make coworkers our family; our lives begin to revolve around everything associated with the job.  Then to be cut off and cast out without a lifeline, is so painful!   I'm sorry.  But you know the man you are, even if they dont see it, so just keep on so you can be ready to receive the goodies with open heart and smile when they do come to you , knowing that you deserve them xoxoff--modified by feliciafoxx at Mon, May 28, 2001, 10:57:55

mojo,I agree.  There are truly wonderful women out there.  Love ya ladies.

Congrats on "winning" your sista back!  I feel like I'll still be friends with my friend.  We've changed in our outlook quite a bit, but I'm glad for the reconnection!  If love is true and real, I think it lasts, even if interests and philosophy have changed between people, ya know?  Sometimes maybe all we can do is just love people... even if we're not really close to them anymore.  It's good to hear about your sister though.  And the cop boyfriend, what does he think about you and what you do?  XO Faye Desiree

And in the end, that's all that really matters.  Any accusations that we listen to are just self-doubts that we allow ourselves to be tortured by.  And you're a true person.  A gorgeous Foxx.  Part of the sistahood.  So listen to your heart and not those god-awful accusing voices!  You must know by now that you're a High Priestess...  XO  Faye Desiree

Surprised, alone and having to figure it out for yourself!  I'm glad you're still loving, open and giving.  Imagine the women who really shut down after getting busted.  How we try to squish love on this planet! But ya can't squish the Light forevah...  XO Faye Desiree

I can second that Faye! I have had the pleasure of meeting the wonderful FF earlier this month and can only say WOW!  Not because she is a gorgeous woman or that when I kissed her I almost hit the floor (best kisser in my life) but the person within... I can't even tell you how special and beautiful she is and that she truly cares about her friends and clients.  I can't wait to see more of her inner beauty and hope that she will accept me as a friend.  I would feel all too humble and privileged!Felicia... You are a wonderful person and have so much to offer so don't let anyone try to convince you different!  XXXOOO Ashley

...preferably my room!!!  Sedagive.

Sedagive sweetheart..... Just name the time!XXXOOO Ash

So when I come to LA, think we can have a kiss-fest?  Yeah!  XO  Faye Desiree

Ok Faye... How does that song go?  You better you better you bet!  Maybe that is the blonde kickin in but you better bet... let the kissing fest begin!  Where is FF?  Let the games begin!XXXOOO AshPS:  I think my panties are getting wet... nooo! Saturated!Related link: Ashley's Place!--modified by Sensual Ashley at Mon, May 28, 2001, 22:58:16--modified by Sensual Ashley at Mon, May 28, 2001, 23:01:08

Tonight  I ran out to one of my favorite salsa clubs to make up for not dancing the night before at the convention, when I had my "incident" (see post above, once a friend, always a friend).  Happily my twinkle toes are now twinkled out and ready for the ice bucket. ( that's when i know I've had a GREAT time, i can hardly walk, LOL?  Sounds a lot like sex.  Actually Latin dancing IS a lot like sex. Standing up. With cloz on. Whew. )In the meantime, you two ladies have been scheming! ;->>> My kind of ladies!Faye, Ashley took me by surprise in the limo, and we  BOTH hit the floor.  Quietest limo ride I've ever been on!  That chatty  driver got awfully quiet. Got quite the show, didnt he, Ashley?Now here's a thought, you two ... a limo ride all over Historic Hollywood where you get looked at funny for being conservative.  We'll get a limo with a sunroof so we can pop up for air every now and then and shout, Halleujah!And yes, Ashley, I do consider you a genuine lady, and a friend, you sexy thing, you...Faye, I'm dying to meet you.xoxoff--modified by feliciafoxx at Tue, May 29, 2001, 03:00:55

Kissing should be like an intimate conversation. Never does one side dominate the other, or overpowers, just an exchange between two people. I can say that this LUV fest should be on tape...among other things...LOL

you been holding that story in reserve?Are you saving that one to tell us over the dinner table!OPA!LustFullManps-it has been entirely too long since anyonehas typed OPA on this board!LM

r u really just a stusent iso fun, that's the $64 q *S*

y, r u 1 2? I believe the price for my answer has gone up to 100,000USD    I can't figure our how to change it, have a suggestion? The ID, not the question,lol            Chrissie

(^_^)

y, r u 1 2? I believe the price for my answer has gone up to 100,000USD I can't figure our how to change it, have a suggestion? The ID, not the question,lol Chrissie