Here's mine.Before I discovered escorting/hobbying I would always dream of getting married one day or having a serious relationship.Some girlfriends told me if i dated an unattractive guy,that I wouldn't have to worry about him cheating or leaving me(thought that was stupid advice).Now that I have discovered the hobby I don't want to have anything serious with a guy ever again.WHY?The hobby has made me realize that any(and i mean any) guy can get a beautiful girl to have a session with him for as low as 60bucks these days.Anyways...this is how the hobby impacted my views on serious relationships.How do you guys feel about serious relationships now since discovering "the hobby?"

a few years ago that found that women who marry "down" as far as attractiveness will have a more faithful husband because he'll feel like he's really lucky and treat her like a princess.  They advised women to move things like intelligence and earning ability to the top of the list ahead of looks.  

After that just didn't come to be, and after a long series of monogamous relationships and "true love"periods of my life, I became too old for any woman to look seriously or even sideways at me. So...my lifestyle changed and ladies of the night became my pleasure. No complaints. Just how things went.

My views have chopped and changed - I've had four serious relationships since I was 23 and got into this industry, including a marriage in which I didn't work in the sex industry. I have worked during the others though and honestly I don't really think about whether the guy has or would be faithful sexually to me during that time because I haven't been faithful to them.
I compartmentalise my life so that this hobby is my work life and my outside relationship with a partner is entirely separate and the hearts and flowers and Prince Charming view of men and love has never been the one I've become attached to.
I like men and indeed women, in all their glorious frailty and need and emotion. If I fall in love with someone Ita for their heart, their strength, their humour, their depth, but also their weakness, insecurities, thoughts, feelings and so much more.
From my point of view I know I can have an amazing session of connection and sex with a client but not feel anything about it or them when it's over. I go home, to the man I love and what I feel inside that relationship is wholly and totally different, just like it is for a happily married client coming to see me. I'm a fun distraction from the banality of everyday life but I'd hope he doesn't develop feelings for me outside of that time.
So to answer the question I feel no different about serious relationships now than I did before getting into this work. It may work, it may not

I would give up this hobby in a heartbeat if she asked it of me. We have an open relationship and I only hobby because I have her blessing. This game is fun but it doesn't come close to having a wonderful woman by my side, whom I love and adore, which has stuck with me through hell and back.

In the meantime, I have my sexual bases covered with a group of ladies who take of me.  The fact that I have to pay them?  Irrelevant: you have to pay one way or another.  It is what it is.  But never stop searching...

I totally agree with you.  I believe most of married men don't hobby or see providers.  Peoples here are minorities.  Most of my married friends are faithful to their wife or husband.  Providers who think all men are like their clients are probably very wrong.  Their clients can't represent the whole population.  It's similar  that providers can't represent the whole female population.  Not all women are willing to sell their body and be a sex worker.  Don't get me wrong.  I have full respect to all the ladies here and the work they are doing, and my view is different from general population.  I am just saying the fact.

Both marriages lasted just over 15 years.  I started seeing providers when I knew that my last marriage was over.  

I don't think you can draw the conclusion that because someone hobbies it means they are an unfaithful person.  

That's a whole other story about how to keep a relationship together.  I'm married 35 years.  Married her because she gave great BBBJ/CIM (no lie).  Did not touch another woman for over 20 years while she continued giving great head.

I think that if you do seek a serious relationship with any guy outside of Escorting/Hobbying. then make sure that you do not tell him that you've done this and make sure that you are always willing to occomidating him just as much as you do the hobbyist.

we're all human beings with needs and wants; lives that exist and are defined primarily OUTSIDE of the hobby. The hobby is merely an activity, transient and peripheral to the real lives we lead. We find our way into the hobby, we find our way out again, ultimately (or so I generally believe). Along the way, we may find cynicism, but it seems to me that such cynicism arises within the hobby and is thus only peripheral to non-hobby lives we lead - it is not to be confused with the power and beauty of relationships we can find outside of the hobby, in the larger world and larger portion of our lives.  

If I'm in a committed relationship, then this world ceases to exist.  I'm either all in or I'm not.  I've never cheated on anyone I've ever been in a relationship with.  My conscience won't allow it.  That's just me.  

From my experience, I don't think it's biologically possible for a man to stick with one piece of pussy for the rest of his life.
I don't think it comes naturally to men, no matter how much they profess to be loyal to the wife.  
(women either, for that matter)
It's like asking a guy, "Why do you drink water?"
It's a biological function.

I am exactly the man in this research study. This research is correct.  

As for how to choose a mate:  Looks should be way down on the list.  Instead, look for things that are important to you. and also take stock of what the other guy (gal) wants.  Things like self-sufficiency, intelligence, agreement on aesthetic issues (arts, politics, silverware pattern, etc.) are more important than many people think.  And don't overlook a sense of humor, I think that is also key.  Views on raising a family are also, of course, of great importance.

It's an interesting irony:

the person who makes you so miserable that you seek sex elsewhere is the more culpable.

You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.

Body Count.

oh, I agree on that!  life experience changed my views on a lot of things.

after experiencing the hobby now.  Have only experienced a few serious relationships in my time which ended because I wanted variety and the other cases I just did not want to be with them.  You are right any man can get a good looking woman for a low price.  As someone mentioned most men crave variety - it is in our nature to do so.  That said, not saying men in general cannot be faithful with their significant other.  I know some of my friends have been or so they have told me but they are in 15 plus year marriages.  Infidelity in long marriages are typically catastrophic for the man (if culprit) or vice versa = monetary penalties for life especially with children involved.  I know some guys as well that wished they did not get married but they stay in it because of no "out".  I have never been married so these are my opinions.  But I know once you cross that line into marriage - that piece of paper can be handcuffs IMO.

Jake thinks he loves you.

I don't think it has for me.  I'm a 47 year old widower, was widowed in my mid 20s after only 6 months of marriage.  I point this out because I want people to know that the hobby, for me, is not a dealing mechanism or therapy in dealing with my grief.  For me being involved in the hobby is just easier than dating.  I like the idea of the no string attached and we can both be real and authentic with each other.  Plus when I do date and women find out my story women tend to react in 2 ways.  One, they want to fix me because I must be broken because of my experience, and two, they run because I must be broken because of my experience.  Now its important to understand I have to be seeing someone for a long time before I discus my deceased wife.  Some have told me that being involved in the hobby is very unhealthy and is my way of defecting my grief.  I totally disagree.  I like having fun in every aspect of my life and the hobby allows me a way of doing that without the drama of being in a relationship.  I'm not one to say that I will never be in another serious relationship, you never know, but I don't feel the need to go out of my way to be in one because that's what my family or friends expect of me.  If I want to be in a relationship I will, but it will be because I want to.  I will say this though, if that time does come and I do get in a serious relationship, I will be quitting the hobby because I believe that in order to be in a committed relationship one has to give of themselves fully, physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually.

Just from personal experience I would never date a provider because once a hoe always a hoe. I know one who has 3 kids with a guy, got married to him and a month after she was married to him she was sneaking around seeing clients on the side.  She does bbfs and had 3 ru486 abortions in one year, 2 behind his back.

I am looking for  a relationship with an escort but it's a sexual relationship.  

IMO that is what marriage is about.

With 50% divorce rate, serial monogamy is probably in most people's future.  (Provider/client is an itty bitty tiny fraction of a percent of the general population, so best not to draw broad conclusions from our behavior.)

I was on the losing end of a serious love affair...  she went back to her husband / father of her (then 20yo) child.  Probably the love of my life.  
 
I went all in, loved her, in my first marriage.  She plaid me, rationing sex nearly from the beginning.  She wasn't rationing HER sex, only mine.  She was cheating & I caught her.  I never cheated.  I did the whole counciling thing but when my money ran out, she wanted me gone.  She told her adult daughter (who later told me) that the ex had never loved me & only married me to solve a finincial crisis.  

I'm not looking for a sexual relationship in this world.   I'm looking for physical and sexual chemistry, nothing more.

I guess you're a really old codger who still thinks that women can't/don't earn their own money.

It is much higher than that when you consider all the assets house(s), retirement,  insurance, and other investments it could be over 1 million dollars.  Also if the woman at home has only worked at home it can be expensive for alimony.  This is why is good to get your spouse to get a career. Also have investments in her name so the split up is easier, especially with retirement assets. Some states have a limit on alimony.

One thing that you might want to try is to go on vacation with her. Also go to sleep every night naked.

My previous marriage was miserable.  I won't bore you with the details but we ultimately divorced.  In all that time, I never hobbied.  I later remarried.  We had a great sex life for a while and then she started being available ONLY on her terms. If she wanted it we had sex; if she didn't, there was no sex. If she initiated it, we had it. If I initiated it, we didn't. Finally, she simply would not make herself available at all. She decided our relationship had enough going for it without sex. We actually get along really well in most every other area. I did not want another divorce but I became resentful and angry. After a few years of celibacy, I cautiously ventured into the hobby. Of course, she eventually noticed that I no longer showed any sexual interest in her and that sparked some periodic renewed interest on her end; but I can no longer respond sexually to her.  So, knowing what I now know about myself...if my marriage ended I likely would never remarry.

Mention a local prostitution bust and watch what happens. You will notice she will be initiating sex more often lol.

Tell him before marriage, because if he finds out that you hid that from him, it makes you look ashamed and it will destroy the relationship. If he's not a guy who can understand, you need to know that before it gets too serious. In the Internet age, it's hard to erase every trace when you retire.

After my failed marriage, I began to view the hobby in a much more positive light.  I realize now the role that it plays in our society: A man loves his wife and doesn't want to leave her, but she's not putting out.  A person has social issues, or is disfigured, and the hobby is there to meet their needs.  A person is sexually frustrated, and the hobby is there to soothe that frustration, rather than a tragic outcome like rape.  As for my views on open relationships and polyamory, they are products of my failed marriage and other failed relationships that I have observed, not products of the hobby.

No..it's not anywhere near $ 1M for the majority of households in the USofA.  As well most statistics are skewed for age.

During 2008/2009 crisis I went below $100K, now I up over 3 times from the market bottom from 2009. Thanks to dollar cost averaging in 401K at work.  

I said a hundredaire.

You sound like a pro trader that I know. He has done very well over the years. He made $400,000 in one day from a stock weeks before it declared bankruptcy.

I definitely know this feeling and agree with you. Yep I want all those things in life to. Now that I decided I no longer need a child in my life and marriage if it happens it will be cool with a twist. Kick over some norms and said this is so much better now. We all come to have fun for different reason. We chose this is the best reason well its just how our brains like it

I have weird views on life and stuff anyways. When younger, I wanted marriage/kids just because it was a societal norm. As I got older (I'm 30 now), I realized I did not want kids and didn't see the point of marriage (I'm not raising kids, I'm not religious, perhaps if the woman I loved really wanted marriage I'd propose but I would get no enjoyment from marriage). I've always joked that if I get married, it's because the woman I'm with is proposing.  Serious relationships, sure, but marriage is doubtful for me.

My upbringing was extremely conservative. My mother made sure to instill the concept of long term relationships with eventual marriage. And, for a long time I actually was convinced that I desired that lifestyle as well. Of course, there is absolutely nothing wrong with such an arrangement, if that is what you genuinely want. I've had 2 long term relationships where my faithfulness wasn't reciprocated. At that point, I realized that I wasn't upset at them for exploring their freedom, I was upset a myself for not exploring mine. The lesson I learned is that the criteria for a serious relationship isn't based solely on sexual exclusivity.

While working in the industry is not a fear of my significant other becoming a hobbyist, rather his ability to deceive and lie and disrespect. The hardest thing for me to accept was the realization of human nature being flawed and selfish. That even the happiest man with the most beautiful, successful, loving mother and wife can still be dissatifised and capable of infidelity. I've learned that monogamy is a self-discipline and takes conscious effort. I've learned that there are many, many ways to hide an affair given the technology we now have. I've learned that infidelity can come with no reason at all.

impacted my view on marriage or serious relationships. I personally  never wanted to get married. I think it is overrated. I feel if you have that bond and connection with someone you don't necessarily have to get married to validate it. IF and that is a big IF. If I ever decided to get married I think I would much rather him to participate in the hobby rather than have a girlfriend or affair because I know chances are less likely for it to go further than just an encounter.

That one of the providers he sees will want to take it further into a girlfriend relationship. Hopefully he will be strong enough to say no to a girlfriend relationship and move on to another provider should that happen.

When I first started hobbying, I had one goal and one goal only: to offload my V-card, so I can say "no" when asked if I'm a virgin. Then I planned to never hobby again, except maybe in places like Amsterdam.  Heck, even my handle I_like_escorts, that providers in my city know me by, was originally meant to be a one-time throwaway of sorts, that I planned to use only briefly, to find a provider.  Because hey, it's a pretty unoriginal handle, despite its truthfulness .  But then I noticed civvies of all ages reacting exponentially better to me after that first appointment.  So it occurred to me: what if I try again?  Sure enough, same reactions, on my part and theirs: I'm flying so high that FAA is getting complaints about me, and civvies are giving me extra attention, like checking me out on the train or hugging me more affectionately than normally.  So despite going on a 4-year hiatus for a relationship, I never really stopped hobbying.

In the 11 years I've been hobbying, I've never heard of a provider who wanted to take a professional relationship into the boyfriend/girlfriend territory.  At least not the ones I've been hobbying with.  That's just a plot device in "Pretty Woman" . Although, I can imagine higher odds of it happening with BP providers.  Besides, with most civvies my age scrambling to settle down and get married---which I'm not looking to do---I wouldn't exactly be comforted by the notion of a provider looking to take things in that direction.

I started the hobby to get what I wasn't getting at home - and that was causing strife in the marriage.  Now, I hobby once a month and get what she won't give and I'm happy, she's not getting the pressure from me and things are good at home.  If I hadn't, we probably would have split up and I'd be miserable and poor (instead of happy and poor

Curious,  

Discussion board topic. This has greatly impacted my views, but in a very different way. I like most providers have seen many clients in all kinds of unique relationships, some with love and some without. Some are older, younger, scruffy, clean cut, average, handsome or below average. They are all so different, and yet come to see a provider.
90% of the time, although many are looking for a connection, they are not looking for love when they walk through the door. Intimacy, a sense of closeness, conversation and sometimes just the mechanical components of sex depending on who they are. My point is, society has an idea that stepping outside of a marriage sexually, equates to there being no love or all of the other components that make up a healthy relationship. Although many years ago, I agreed with those views. But now, I have met way too many men now who I can tell are very much inlove with their wives, but are still sitting on my bed ready for an exciting hour with someone they've never met.
If only we lived in a society that didn't have such unrealistic views on monogamy. I believe that marriages would be much healthier and sustainable, if the unrealistic expectations were dropped. Of course, this is not possible. If I were to ever be married, it would obviously not be traditional