There's nothing more exhilarating than the anticipation of meeting someone purely for pleasure.  

After reading some of the posts today, I've gotten the feeling too many are confusing sex with love.  Any thoughts?

-- Modified on 2/23/2004 7:45:00 AM

although the excitement and anticipation of sex with a new partner has its merit I'm more often inclined to seek the comfort of an established favorite.

   As for mistaking sex for love I think it is more a falling for the fantasy the provider gives. The hard wireing between the genitals and the heart only helps to facilitate this common occurance.

Agreed, how do you and your ATF retain this lust?  In my humble opinion and generally speaking of course...there are two types of hobbyists:

1. Those between relationships (looking for another, which sometimes gets confusing)

2. Those in relationships (looking for lust, but can also be confusing)  

I'm bored today waiting for my contractor to show up and work on my house.  He's coming here alone today, sexy and quiet,  which for some reason turns me on.    

-- Modified on 2/23/2004 8:20:18 AM

But it has nothing to do with my hobbying. Everyone is looking for something different here and it is very easy to blur the lines between sex and love. I am lucky/stupid enough to know what I get from a provider.

I love my wife but our sex life is a -1 on a scale of 1 to 10. I have always avoided affairs because an affair always includes love and/or emotions. The hobby is about sex for me, plain and simple. I have to admit that I’ve become somewhat addicted to the thrill of meeting different young women that I can romp with for an hour of fantasy time. The hobby (for me) is solely about pure physical pleasure with hot young women.

I'm a builder who is also bored today. That senario just gave me something to smile about.

It's me who retains the lust. For her it is business.
I'm a divorced/single and prefer the hobby to civilian dating. I prefer to see a select few or ONE provider regularly.

about part of this topic, and I'm still 'working' on it.

However, for here, and this thread, I will say that I don't know if I see so much the confusion between sex and LOVE, as I see the confusion between sex and (having a/ being in) a RELATIONSHIP.

More later..


(PS. Sorry, Carrie, but I'm enjoying the rain - we don't see it often..)

Just kidding.  You're certainly not atypical.  I think you're doing what's best for you and you sound very centered.  

I worry about some that I meet.  I'd never take advantage of a guy, but there are plenty who see that lonely look and take full advantage.

"confusion between sex and (having a/ being in) a RELATIONSHIP."

I am guessing that because of the intimate nature of the professional exchange it is easy to forget that this, for the most part, is purely a professional relationship.

There are times where a friendship or more can develop, but just like dating your therapist, it should be conducted after the professional relationship has been terminated.

I think in the psycology world, this is called transferance and counter-transferance. It is often very dangerous to both people and should be avoided at all costs.

With that said, I can speak from experience that it is an easy trap to fall into.

Even for someone who has been in the hobby for a while, I have to check myself occasionally and take a cold shower to remind myself of why I am here.  Although I have someone that I enjoy being with (she'll know who she is), I need to mix it up by not seeing her too often and get too attached to the relationship.  

Thanks, OCSir, for your comments above.

good post i agree.
my version knda goes same way , just a diffrent version, sex is a purelly physical ,whether your wife, provider, one night stand , left hand , right hand.
making love is physical AND emotional, and i agree some people have a hard time knowing where to draw the line between the two...my .02

As Tina Turner sings, "what's love got to do with it?"

at a later time.

While I agree any amount of "and more" should be conducted after the professional part has ended, I do not agree about the "friendship".

I believe (and maybe it's because I want to believe) that friendship is not only possible, but is desirable.

Friendship does NOT mean expecting free services.  Friendship is NOT a "relationship" in a way that either side owes anything to the other.  But depending upon the two people it can mean occasional phone calls.  A dinner out with nothing else expected or provided.  A shoulder to lean on.  Or any of numerous other things.  Ideally (for me) I would like every Lady I see more than once or twice to be a friend to some degree, though many of the Ladies don’t want that and it actually occurs rarely.

I think I have a "friendship" to some degree with a few of the providers I have seen/am seeing, though we both understand anything beyond that is neither possible nor desirable in our situations.

After taking a few months off the hobby, I found that I am addicted to the chase. I like nothing better than meeting someone whom I know very little about (including what they look like.) As you know, I've had a couple of situations where I spent the whole day thinking about the lady I was planning on seeing that evening, and found out when I got to my hotel room that she could not make it that evening - that a friend was coming in her place. The tension that creates is delicious.

Yes, Misty, there's nothing more exhilarating than the anticipation of meeting someone purely for pleasure.

Misty, how right you are! There is something way too stereotypical about my response. But....the freedom to respond with the truth is the reason that I love TER.

With apologies to megapig, oink, oink!!!

I like to think I'm an expert on this one... I'm in it for the emotional high, the endorphine rush that too many young people take for "love," but which is in fact good ol' infatuation.
 Don't knock it: it's a chemical stew our brains cook up to make us want to fuck like rabbits. You know the feeling: dopey, blissed out, distracted by the touch, smell, voice of your object du'jour.
 Sedona hinted at "relationship;" infatuation is the result of the chemicals that make us want to build that relationship, to touch, be around, remember, anticipate... and explore every hole of. It's a pretty personal relationship. And it can and should be warm and friendly in addition to "hot."
 So for me it's not "just sex." It's what I can do with sex and what it does for me.  But, yeah, it's definelty not "love."