a wake-up call to all Hobbyists. Providers can be put in a very vulnerable position by even the slightest indiscretion in a post or PM. I just heard from a provider I care about (a lot) who has been compromised by an unthinking or uncaring dolt. There is no excuse for this; both sides need privacy and we all need to be careful about what we say or write.
I've always felt that there are those in society who cannot see lines... all around them, whether it be an invasion of personal space or following too closely behind a car, or assuming that your advances are welcome.... Those are less worrisome but still spooky all the same...
Then there is the other darker character - the one who is well aware of the line... and crosses it just to see you move. If we could just see which is which perhaps we would have a saner and happier world....
Alas - we cannot - and neither can psychology...
Thoughtful - you are correct, both sides need privacy.... and both sides need to be careful... odd, while I have noticed that while it does happen, it happens very infrequently where providers cross the line.... but think about how many more times we hobbiests cross the line... barely a week goes by without some provider feeling threatened... perhaps it has always been so, but with the internet, accesable databases and so on, we should be extra careful to give these ladies enough room to feel both secure and safe.
"it happens very infrequently where providers cross the line.... but... we hobbiests cross the line... barely a week goes by without some provider feeling threatened..." How you could read that and think that I said that providers cross the line more frequently!?? Well - beyond me!
How do providers cross the line? some report having shown up at the work place! some report unwanted calls etc.... But that IS NOT THE POINT! the point is that hobbiests cross the line more frequently that providers - at least as measured by posts on this board!
I would imagine that a provider crossing the line is either calling someone who has a SO at odd hours or flooding the person's inbox with email, just the same as we receive. I think that "stalking" can go two ways if the individual is not stable between either party. Sometimes there are women who can just as easily "fall" for a client as the other way around. It's not a hard thing to do. I think the vast majority of providers are able to define the line between what's appropriate and what is not but there are those women who can fall instantly in love as well.
Remember, being threatened is a two way street and while it's never easy to be the recipient both men and women alike can fall victim to people who are less than stable without intentionally meaning to.
We all have experienced the "falling faster than we should" episode and if in the context of the hobby it's rather easy when you consider that intimacy is the trigger... Knowing how, when, and if you should continue or even go there in the first place is the most compelling question, no?
the first is just social ineptitude - you know the type where someone is just totally clueless and takes advantage of other peoples "polite behaviour" the other is the sociopath - who knows the normal boundary but believes that the boundaries do NOT apply to him/her. That one is FAR more dangerous. That one will kill you... the first type just creeps you out.
but as I stated - we (society) has a hard time distinguishing between these UNTIL they do something really really really bad (I know, a technical term)!
A lot of guys hesitate to give personal information for fear that it will be used against them. This is a legitimate fear and fortunately, it is an extremely rare occurrence.
On the other hand, providers don't just have to worry about losing their livelihoods and reputations, but also their physical safety. I can't verify this, but I would think that physical harm to providers happens more often than providers outing hobbyists.
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