The provider was someone I met 3rd time. She got into a conversation about getting high and she asked me if I'm cool with that.  I'm not a pothead or a druggy by ANY means, but a little bit of that? I don't care.  

Unlike my "3 beer queer" alcohol tolerance, I have a surprisingly high cannabis tolerance.  Sure why not? I don't particularly enjoy it so the only time I ever lite up is when I'm together with a close female friend who is hooked on it. If a close guy friend wants to light up, I think it's a bit gay but a girl wanting to get high with me?  That's a different story. ROFL

Anyway, so this provider, she didn't want to smoke inside the hotel so we just went to my car which was parked behind public view. One of the good things about having tint darker than state legal limit, people outside can't really see inside esp at night. ;-

Whether Bong Hits or Shots I would not think it appropriate to ask

There are some girls I have seen mention it on BP ads in some areas but not many which is wise as a lot of guys are not into "Organic" offerings and as Mr. F stated you run the possibility of offending the girl. My best suggestion is to back channel guys that have see her or just go see a girl you like and if you smell that tell tale odor then bring it up.

1.  I'm sure as hell not going to advertise it because doing so puts a "target me for arrest" target on my head; and

2.  If you ask before we meet, or before we've "gotten comfortable," I may well assume you're LE trying to add up additional charges.

If you must ask and/or partake during a session, wait until the session is underway and trust is established before you ask.

I thought possession of it under some amount isn't a crime in many states? I also thought you'd have to have a large enough amount in possession with intent to sell in order to be charged with distribution.  I obviously don't know much about pot stufff.

Any other time before that, you may risk a NCNS... cuz some providers will assume you're LE.
Or if they are not 420 friendly, they may think you're a druggy and avoid session.  

I don't enjoy 420 regularly at all, but I'm not against 420 either.  Anything else, I'd probably walk out, for example, if the provider wanted to shoot heroin / meth around me, I'd walk out.

In my case, it has usually been the provider who asked first. They'd talk about home grown shit, good shit, getting lit, flying high, reefer, etc. Maybe cuz I sometimes talk about how I got drunk and shit faced, the conversation gets unintentionally "setup" for her so that she can talk about how she likes 420.  Quite a number of providers seem to be ok with 420, IMO