the only two important questions you must answer are:
1) Can you afford it? Ex wives can put the squeeze in un a way they would not do if you were still married. If this is simply a way to put you in an unreasonable financial potion, you need to make that clear to your daughter. There is such a thing, even after divorce when refusals can be used as emotional weapons.
2) Is this what your daughter really wants pretend for the moment the ex was dead? Would you give her this kind of wedding because it is your daughter even tho it may please your exe.?
If the answer to these two questions are "yes", I would do it and try to enjoy the happy event
Posted By: whollysh!!
Was married 30 plus years. Due to circumstances the attendance at my daughters wedding will be 90% my exes family. Why should I pay for my exes family? I know its my daughter's family but .......
And whatever you planned to spend on the wedding, write your daughter a check, and tell her to elope! I did it, with my ex-husband, and we put the money to good use by putting a down-payment on our home.
My son got married a few years after our divorce, and while the bride's family did carry the bulk of the cost, there were some expenses like booze for the wedding and the wedding party dinner the night before that the groom's family typically covers. There was also the wedding gift to the couple to consider. So i asked my ex to pony up half of that and she agreed, somewhat hesitantly, but she knows this is a 50/50 deal still so she agreed.
It's worth a shot.
The last thing you want to do is anything that would threaten the relationship you have with your daughter. That's an investment that is worth a lot more than any amount of money
Honestly, your daughters day, don't screw it up! Some things are priceless
But in any case it's your daughters wedding. It's a happy joyous occasion. Pull out your wallet and have fun!!! Congrats!!!
Set aside you and your exes differences for one priceless day. Your daughters happiness should not come with a price tag.
Because you love your daughter and she loves them
No chance of splitting the costs with your ex as its all her family attending the wedding?
First for making it 30 years in a marriage, and on your daughter getting married. Seems to me a father of a bride being obligated to pay for a wedding is so antiquated.
You get a proper dowry. i'm thinking 10 goats, some chickens and at least one cow.
This is your daughter's event. Give your daughter a check to subsidize the wedding expenses for however much you think is appropriate as opposed to getting involved in the details of the wedding. Then dig deep and double or triple that. Worst case - you might have to cut down on the hobby for a year or two....
Don't worry about what she spends it on; think of it as a dowry. I would politely suggest (one time and only one time) that she take the money and blow it in Vegas as opposed to an overpriced party - but that you will be perfectly happy going to the party - just let you know when and where. And when she holds the over priced party anyway - just enjoy it. At that point it's her money, she can do what she likes with it.
My guess - if she's writing the checks, it will be considerably less elaborate than it might have been. It will still be ridiculous....
Don't worry about who is on or off the guest list or what they are serving. Bottom line - it ain't your party
is what you should celebrate. Time to set the ex-enmity aside and take care of it because you love your daughter and her happiness and special day come first
This is your Daughters day, plain and simple.
Look at it this way, you can have fun at the Wedding while supporting your Daughter on one of the best days of her life, and you don't have to fuck your ex. Sounds like a great time.
Icing on the cake would be to bring a hot provider with you, and have her play the GF part
