If after I have a few more visits with the provider I saw last week (business transactions), would it be wrong of me to ask the lady on a real date, with no sex, kissing, etc, a non-business transaction?

surprised if she says "no thanks"  This is what she does for a living.  Would it be "wrong" for your employer to ask you to come to work but you don't have to "all" your work, but your not going to get paid anything for it either?  No it wouldn't be "wrong" but unless you really love your job, you are probably not going to be too interested in coming to work and not getting paid for it.

Then again, I could be wrong.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

You, the lady in question, and the chemistry you share.

If I am ever going out with a lady (as a friend - no sex) it will be her idea. It is the women who are in more vulnerable position here, so if a woman really feels that comfortable with me that she is OK to go out to dinner, I believe she will let me know. In the past, there has been one who actually wanted to hang out with me.  If she doesn't approach, I don't feel the need to approach.

That's just me, and that's the philosophy I live by. There is NO RIGHT answer. You do what you feel right.

Do you think your the first guy to come up with this novel idea?

Clients ask us to hang out with them for free all the time.  On a good day, she'll just be annoyed and politely say no.  On a bad day, she'll fire you.

Try match.com for dating prospects.  

Seriously, this is the #1 pet peeve among escorts.  You're being incredibly unprofessional and disrespectful without even realizing it.

First off, I am single, and capable of having a "real" relationship, and secondly set your expectations very low, and be prepared to hear the word "NO".

Usually when I am interested in "dating" a provider I leave the ball in HER court. I float the idea of going out on a "real", sex optional date, but insist on her making a phone call to me to initiate the date. If she calls, that means she is interested. If she doesn't call, I have my answer, and I haven't put in in the uncomfortable position of having to say no to a paying customer. I never want to "pressure" a working girl to go out with me, I want her to be as interested as me in going out, otherwise there really isn't anything "real" about it.

You might be surprised about how many providers are open to this type of thing, but a couple of things to keep in mind, don't get possessive, don't push things, and let her take the lead in seeing her OTC. Most women are intuitive enough to tell if you are either a stalker, a cheapskate looking for a freebie, or a genuinely nice guy looking to get to know her better.

If you do ask... Don't be surprised if she gets offended, stops returning your phone calls and emails, and your appointments and fun times come to an end. Hypothetically....

If she is interested in seeing you off the clock, she will let you know.

...... there is the whole you're paying for her time thing...that's why she's a PAID companion. It's still business even when we're having fun.  We're supposed to be selling our time first and not flat out selling sex and all that and whatnot.

About 1yr ago I added "social dates" only rates because I got tired of being asked out for "free" dates.

A few ladies might not mind "free" dates if she doesn't have much to do but i'd expect most will charge something even if nothing intimate is expected.  Oh ALSO you might want to know her relationship status before you run something like that on a provider. I'm personally not interested in having "real dates" as in like civvie dates with a client. Envelope please.


-- Modified on 8/14/2012 1:16:13 PM

Many providers...  #1 are spoken for or not interested in dating.  
#2  Their "Provider" personna may be totally different.  There is one lady...  (UTR so not qualified to TER review) but I've know her for some years.  At one point, I thought if I was suddenly single again, i'd want to talk to her...   but as I have gotten to know her, I've learned her non-provider personna & I recognized the difference.  I still see her for a lunch meeting from time to time...  but am happy to go home after.

I'd suggest you keep the idea on ice, get to know her & explore the topic carefully.

BTW...  Are you seeing others too?  Because the sex hormones make us "fall for" a lady we have great sex with & more so for repeats.  Useful in cave man era to protect the offspring.  As hobbiests, we must learn to separate the hormone attraction.  This really should be taught in sex ed!  
Yes, we all "fall for" our providers...  until the next one.  

I won't say it "never" happens that a couple meets this way...  but it is way more difficult a road.  These boards are littered with "I fell for my provider & I can't get up!" posting.  Read back on The Erotic Highway board for more on this.

In general, what you suggest is a bad idea & yes, if she thinks you are falling for her, she likely will refuse to see you.  Why?  Because a clingy stalker is bad for her business.  Because a love sick client is posessive.   This is CROSSING THE LINE.  You do so at your own risk.
H

I have had this happen once before and it was nice.  But unless she has hinted at more than just repeat visits the answer will most likely be no. Remember this is TER and as always YMMV lol

please do not confuse GFE with reality.....

We like you, we really, really do and we enjoy you or we would not see you again and again but WE DO NOT want to date you..................If we change our mind. WE WILL ASK YOU!!!!!!!!

Oh how I wish I could post a quote from the ladies board!!!!!!!

I think you pretty much summed it up

It would be nice if you could give the OP a helping hand (pun intended) to get up again.

absolutely laugh your ass off at some of the shit you see us guys thinking about.

I have to agree with harbor_view...all "fall for" untill you get in the next one! I speak for myself and probably alot more providers would agree...we are not here to be in a relationship with a friend/client...if we wanted to really date...we would be! the donations are for time..it would probably insult or make her just tell you to go on..

so always keep in mind...IT IS WHAT IT IS!!!!

No, I didnt fall for the provider.  Yes, she is the first and only lady Ive seen, im new to this.   I just wanted to get to know her better. So after i see her a few more times, i will ask if she has a Social Date rate (w no expectation of sex) like the lady in this post mentioned.

Are bitching to those that actually want to listen about how mean some of the fellas are here.

Too much time on some gals hands...and plays right into the thread down below about the "fat" gals...but also the old and ugly ones as well  LOL

How much do you trust your sense of knowing what she feels?

If she is, then you have the following to consider next:

Is your situation such that you can start dating someone i.e., you are not married or already have a SO?

Likewise her situation?

How do you feel about dating someone who makes their living as an escort?  Are you prepared for them to meet your friends and family?

Are you prepared to lose her company as an escort if her reaction is that she can no longer see you on account of trying to become a civie date?

Are you prepared to cease being a hobbyist if she insists on that as a condition of dating?

Are you sure you want to have a SO?  What are your goals regarding same?

If you are fine with all of the above, then sure, go for it.

But know that you have some damn heavy odds weighing against you.

Hi GA,

Correct!!  I've asked an ATF If she would like to do lunch sometime, OTC!! She said yes, so one time I will ask her to lunch when the funds allow!! I'm just a poor fellow!! She even let slip her real name a couple of times!! I like the fantasy of her"stage" name!! When we have lunch we'll leave the stage name behind!! So, yes one can become just friends outside of the business, but expecting more would be implausible, for me, at least!! I would NEVER want to ruin a very good thing!!! Just my...

We have to eat.

If there is really good chemistry and a person asks me to lunch, sometimes I will say yes.  I have to eat even though I offer dinner dates.

But a newbie wanting to get to know me better?  Probably not.  That's just a recipe for potential problems starting between two people.  Gotta have boundaries for most.  If he was/is experienced and we get along and it's not someone wanting something that I'm not willing to give ... sure.  I might do it.

Especially if it were the symphony or a play (something) that I would otherwise love to see.

Elisabeth

also ruin the relationship you have. You somehow will become jaded that (not that you say this now) a whore doesn't want to date you and she will pull back out of fear you become a danger to her perfessionally.

You must remember love, this is her way of life, if she just dates all who love her and there may be many she would just be full of great meals and very exhausted with little free time.

Just Keep it simple and have fun

You can ask, but she may go crazy on you for doing so. Then again, she may be flattered or already has a boyfriend. Have you asked her that?

Since this is your first and only provider you have ever seen, it makes it even more of a bad idea!

It all depends on how you get long. Nothing absolute about absolute.

On the basis what you and few your friends? Don't believe you can speak for all, can you?

Going that route generally asks for problems. When I was an account my favorite client of two years asked me to file his taxes for free one year. It didn't go so well. Just kidding I am not an accountant lol, but I thought that the analogy might shed some light on why this doesn't usually workout.

Don't mistake the good time you had with her for her being interested in dating you.

I know this sounds callous, but it really IS about the money 99.99% of the time.

A provider I conversed with much more than I usually do,  in a fleeting hour  or two , used to ask me
about my hobbies when I was leaving . Sometimes when I was confused,  I suspected  she had an interest in me staying a while longer . Some hobbies  I would mention,  she would say  " Oh I have always wanted to do that "
 
  One time after a session  I showed her some photos of a fishing trip on my best friend's  new  yacht . She  had  four O's just looking at the photos   .
 
 The next few times I saw her she asked when I'm going to borrow that
yacht for a week end with her  .  
 
  After I got the OK from my friend  , I realized I had never asked for her number . I called her
screener and told him I have a Yacht available if she wants to do an afternoon , overnight
and morning ocean cruise  the following week end  .  He said he'd get back with me .  An hour later he called back ,
"Quad she says you're her fave , she really likes you ,  her normal overnight rate is { $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$} , for you and your friends yacht , only 800 bucks "

   Next time a provider tells me Oh I really want to do that , I'll ask her how much with no kissing or   sex  

 Why so many smiley faces ?   I can't stop laughing about the no money, no kissing, no  sex .
  I wonder If anyone has tried that on a civvy girl . Excuse me Miss , I'm wondering if you would be interested in me escorting you to the movies , I promise no popcorn jokes  , or kissing .