I do love those/these types of posts. The posts that give me a look into  how much as a community we actually have in common and what the common thread is other than the obvious lack of threads we sometimes adorn ourselves in. Thanks CK, Kendall

Another reflective topic, which is why this place is interesting. It isn't all about "the old in-out, in-out".

Part of it is definitely seizing the day; but doing so with a sense of balance. There are ways to make today a little bit of heaven without sacrificing tomorrow. I don't want to burn through so many opportunities in one direction that I rule all the others. By taking better advantage of my varied experiences and savoring them to the fullest, I hope to be happier than if I’d denied myself too much or perseverated on just one thing. I’m still working on that, and expect I always will.

For example, it would be really easy to be addicted to the hobby to the point that you end up a lonely financial wreck. That would not only ruin hobbying for tomorrow, but all kinds of other activities as well. No fine dining, no enlightening travel, no leisure time with family, etc.

Having balance isn't really denying yourself categories of things, just moderating the extent of participation. You can enjoy a good drink or two now and then without going down the road of abuse. Good food without constant gluttony. A game of chance without wagering the deed to the house. I'd say occasional great sex without undue risk is the same.

I suppose there is a time in life when some people get to the point of knowing that the time is now. That point varies for everyone. Some people put off savoring life until retirement, only to find out that it might be too late to pursue many of their dream activities. Others burn out young, only to plod through their later years without hope or resources, doing nothing but wistfully reminiscing. I'd rather be on the golden path down the middle, with a plan.

I'm not hung up on piling up a fortune to pass on to spoiled heirs, being a titan in business or sampling every single delicacy available to man. I just want to have some little aspect of heaven every day. Not all of them are exotic or extravagant, but they all need to be savored rather than taken for granted:

-A tranquil sunset
-The subtle taste of a favorite drink
-A smile on one of my kids’ faces
-An excellent meal to remind that food is more than mere sustenance
-Time in the arms of a wonderful lover
-The smells and sights of a new place
-Some dash of risk to quicken the heart and sharpen the senses

that keep me coming back here every day.

Thanks CK

Talking about Martin Sheen...

A few years back I was in Las Vegas with friends waiting to buy tickets for "O" at the Bellagio. Martin Sheen walks in with a bodyguard and asks if there is a single lady waiting to purchase her ticket. A lady ahead of me in line raises her hand and Martin Sheen asks her if she would be open to joining him as his date to the show. Of course she says "yes" and proceeds to have the best seat in the house with him. Certainly, sure seems like he has the confidence to create a HEAVEN ON EARTH and to include random "civilian women" in his celebration of life as well!
--Sitara Devi

Kid, Thanks for this thread.
If I may contribute my take, "The Hobby" had been my long un-fulfilled fantasy. There was just always something intriguing to me about the thought of meeting a glamorous, beautiful woman for a few hours of anonymous, NSA pleasure. For the longest time, I denied myself that experience, because of taboos, social norms, guilt, etc. I even made a few appointments and cancelled a day or two before with cold feet. (Sorry ladies). But I NEVER NC/NS! LOL

Along the way, life took its toll (marriage, kids, routines, drudgery, complacency, etc.) and I became resigned to settle and think that this is all there is. Then sometime after the deaths of several people dear to me (some well before their time) I had the "blinding flash of insight" that life is too short to be this unhappy. I finally took the plunge into the hobby.  I must say that through careful research, long time lurking and TER membership, I have been extremely selective. I have never had a disappointing encounter.  Every lady I've met has been a delight in her own special way and each actually taught me a little bit about myself.

The other discovery was that I was surprisingly guilt free. An earlier thread talked about whether the hobby was cheating. In my case it is, because my SO would think it so. However, despite the connections I’ve made with the ladies I’ve seen, there are still less emotional ties here than in other options, so if there are degrees of cheating, the hobby IMHO is a lesser offense. Since RMan talked about the need for maintaining balance, I see the balance issue in a different perspective and it’s the balance between the real world and the little glimpses of heaven I get through the hobby.
I guess perhaps Sheryl Crow said it best:
"If it makes you happy
It can't be that bad"


-- Modified on 6/13/2008 9:19:32 AM