If a girl spends as much time researching a guy's reviews, as he does hers..many compatibility issues would be eliminated..between reading reviews, getting references and talking on the phone,some level of comfort should be reached, if not then pass.
-- Modified on 12/15/2003 1:11:20 AM
I would like to know your feelings on the following situation..you see a client he is yucky..so you do your best to give them great service..then they post a sorta negative review..now they tell you they had a great time..but during the session you sit and listen to them talk arrogantly and boisterously about themselves..you do your best but you just dont like him and then put him on your DNB list but of course you dont tell him that.....then you read a review they write and it is not like any other review you have ever gotten...he literally blast's you..but you dont get to say anything back..like he is rude..full of himself and I wont get into the physical part..because to me personality is much more important...should I have left the apt..when I kinda got the feeling he was going to be negative..said" thanks keep the donation but I am not feeling it" rather than risk a negative review. when you think he is going to be mean just because he feels you have to many great reviews.what are your thoughts...
I would let your reviews speak for themselves. I, for one, tend to find that ladies without a range of reviews tend to be mechanical or scripted in their services. A lady with a range of reviews shows that she is a human being and like human beings her performance changes with her partner.
I also do not give much credence to reviewers who have a limited review history. I'm glad you took the opportunity to blow off some steam and ask the questions that needed to be asked.
As for leaving an appt when you know it isnt going to be 10-10.
That's up to you, you know your needs and how you want to present yourself. Had you not taken any money from this fellow, he would not have been able to post a review. However I don't think you are in this business to get 10-10 reviews, I think you are here to provide a service which, you seemed to do your best to do, just because the 'chemistry' was not 10-10, does not mean you should call things short and take a hit financially. You certainly passed up other opportunities that day.
We live and we learn, both as hobbyists and providers.
Just my 2 cents worth anyway
--ML
I think Martin Luther is straight on the line and speaking from the heart. No relationship is perfect, and you should be expected, like any human being, to have both positive and negative feelings. The important point is that you have feelings, and customers should realize that a little more sometimes! -and like martin luther alluded to, it's not all about numbers, but about personal chemistry between 2 individuals--something that can't be charted on any scale.
-rf
Megan,
I'll be a contrarian and say the review (from spinner39) isn't that bad. Similar to the one you got from dsl24.
If I were looking, I'D CERTAINlY see you after reading all your reviews, including that one. I agree, the numeric's aren't that super, but the words ARE fairly complimentary. Even if you didn't "click", he says you were nonetheless competent and pleasurable. Right?
So, no worries.
I suspect that you don't get this feeling real often. And I see that you care about the client and about your reviews and as such would not do this too frequently for that reason as well.
I am in a business that provides a service too, and as much as we want to have everyone leave happy and please everyone the truth is that there are those with whom we just do not click. Several years ago I realized that I just can't make everyone happy and accepting people into my business that I was unable to work well with did two negative things. It drained me, making no good for anybody. And I really found that I didn't do the best job for that person either, I was producing half assed resluts that made me mad at myself.
I now tell people from time to time that I just don't think that we are a good match and ask if I can help with a referral to another in the business.
I don't see any reason for provider ladies out there to have to put up with too much. I realize that you like some of us better than others and there is a little more faking of having the good time with some than with others. But when you get the sense right up front that this just wont work out well at all, I see nothing wrong with staying polite and not going through with the service. Why make yourself miserable and provide tacky service as well? He may be pissed, but not like he would be with paltry service...and no bad review would materialize.
Now, as for the avoidence of a bad review...so what. You do your best every time to make the client happy enought to write a good review, right? So you are in that sense manipulating your reviews. Why not take it one step further and just avoid the bad review by avoiding the session?
I see it as being better for everyone.
...if it was me I'd have left the apt. As I see it you are running a business and time,of course,is money. Efficient sales reps don't waste time on prospects that won't materialise into a sale and you also have a reputation to protect,which leads to more work for you.
I think cutting them off,in future,would be the best bet and you will be more productive,IMHO. You don't want to cultivate those that will waste your time and make you miserable.
I guess I understand what you are saying..but I never used to even read my reviews..and the review I am speaking of is just such a contradiction to the clients attitude...he seemed to love me..I even let him take control of the situation ..meaning the way it went..usully I get to do a few things I like.. I did not in this situation and I honestly feel the client wrote negative things because of some of the things he asked..he asked how much I make..I told him..his mouth fell open..I dont want to sound immature but I think he kept constantly tryying to one up me...I usually get great people..ones who are secure enough in there roles and place in life that they would not try and be mean..nit picking my knees(he did that)saying I am too thin..blah blah..when I mentioned I am about to do my first adult film..he asked why? as ifhe did not want me to do better..really that was the impression I got...I am using this forum to vent my frustrations of trying hard to please someone who will not allow you to please them..really if i did not care about my clients and my work ..if I was just in it for the $..it would not seem so important..but I honestly care...
1) forget about it and move on as you may not ever know..or
2) if you have his email address, you can email him that you really care about your clients' satisfaction and welcome open communication that will help you in your business.
Perhaps you can create a sample Word Doc Questionnaire and sent along in your email. Let him know that you are in the practice of sending to _______ (all, some, those with reviews with low scores, etc. ) clients as a way of bettering yourself and your service.
This puts the ball in his court to respond, and respond in a way that is somewhat 'removed' from you personally.
Hope this helps.
I choose #1..thanks
You have to just do what you do and let the reviews take care of themselves. Asking the guy why exactly he didn't enjoy his time with you won't make him realize what a wonderful time he actually had and recant his review. I went though a similar situation recently. Please don't rehash the past. Trust me, let it go. Most of us guys are smart enough to draw our own conclusions. Of course, sometimes we read with the head with 1 eye instead of 2, but that usually works in the provider's favor.
You're much better off never reading any of your reviews. If you get turned on reading reviews (I know I do), read other people's reviews.
Seems to me that an occasional negative review has to be expected. I tend to look for trends rather than just one particularly good or bad review. As for particular clients, I think every provider ought to have the right to say no thanks--I've turned away providers so you should be able to turn away clients. One of my top 3 rules is no provider should ever do anything she doesn't feel like doing. To me that's a better solution than feeling as if I just spent an hour with someone who just wants to get rid of me. And trust me, no matter how horny, a hobbyist can tell when he's not wanted.
Hopefully, you can get a feel before your appointment via email or phone conversation and make your decision to accept/not accept.
Before accepting a date, I like to read their reviews and their posts (if handles are provided) so I can get a feel for their personality. This is a big help! Then I will volley a few calls or emails and then accept, or not.
If you haven't had the opportunity to make that determination, and you're at the appointment, hopefully you have some 'get to know you' time over a glass of wine or something and then get a feel.
I would sympathize greatly for either party in this position that has to say, "I don't think this is going to work out and let's call it a night. Thanks for your interest and your time" (or something to that effect) and then depart.
As long as both parties know they always have that 'acceptance clause', then it shouldn't be too bad, and hopefully, he'll appreciate or understand your choice.
I just want to make sure I am understanding your post correctly. You like to read the posts and reviews of any clients that provide with a TER handle. You then go through the list of ladies they have seen and then either email or call any that you know in order to get input on the potential client prior to accepting an appointment?
HE and I exchange emails or PM's back and forth!
You should not provide services to anyone you find distasteful (phyiscally or personality-wise). It's true you can't know this right off the bat when you meet them or over the phone. That's why you should spend 15 minutes of non-charge time getting to know them. If they aren't for you, turn them down.
If I see a bad review b/c the guy didn't get any service, I'm much more likely not to judge the provider on that incident (especially if she has other good reviews). However, if the review says the service was bad, then it's hard to determine what the circumstances might be.
Personally, I only believe that this profession is degrading if a provider sees hobbiests she finds "yucky". If a provider turns away guys she doesn't like and sees guys she finds to be respectful, then I have more respect for the provider and I think everyone will have a better experience. . . and this situation of bad reviews you describe is less likely to happen.
Is it so bad to take 15 minutes of your time for the sake of your personal satisfaction and reputation. If a hobbiest is disturbed by the fact that you want to get to know him (for no-charge) before you provide services, then the guy is probably a jerk and is worth passing on.
Well said Q. I would have to agree on what you have stated. I wish more providers would turn down clients if they did not click or did not find them attractive.
Sucking it up for the $$$ should not have to be done.
I have been suggesting for over 2 years that you girls should have a forum for reviewing your clients. I know several ladies who simply won't see anyone unless he's way up there in looks and performance. They want a hot time with an attractive, kind man..., not just a living.
Until that forum becomes a reality, try asking for some referrals before setting dates. You can tell a lot about a guy by the nature and tone of his reviews and posts. That, combined with a brief chat with anyone he's seen should keep the bad ones off your door step.
Happy Holidays all,
Jacksonlips
If a girl spends as much time researching a guy's reviews, as he does hers..many compatibility issues would be eliminated..between reading reviews, getting references and talking on the phone,some level of comfort should be reached, if not then pass.
-- Modified on 12/15/2003 1:11:20 AM
If you are personally uncomfortable with an individual, I see no reason why you should not tell him and not follow through with the appontment. Short of that however, I don't think you should make your decision based on the fear of getting a negative review.
All you can do is do your best, and it sounds like you did. You can't please everyone.
with your record? If it reflects negatively on anything, it'll probably be the reviewer's judgement. So from that point of view, keep on as you have been and don't worry about it. No matter how good you are you'll never be EVERYBODY's idea of wonderful.
As for just walking away, it depends. Everyone should obviously walk away from any situation that looks like an LE setup or a person that might be dangerous. As for a situation that just might be less than great, you've got to weigh the financial consequences (only you know what you can afford).
Above all, don't let a single negative response get you where you live. I can tell from your posts that you're genuinely upset, and not because your average was harmed. That you can't afford, no matter what your finacial situation.
Problem is, people have agendas. Of course Megan, in this case it doesn't apply to this situation, but I am talking of a buildup of negative reviews, because both men and women will jump on at some point to mess with you and your reviews if you don't keep an eye to them...that is if they mean anything to you at all. What's one bad review? At one point, once every three months, I would have three nasty reviews written, two days apart. Hmmmm. Turned out to be other females. If I didn't keep a vigil, I would have many many other stupid reviews up there opportunists for a free vip ... a lot of obviously lame reviews, but no one would really know, except me.
Take care of yourself...some of this cannot be helped...some people will rearend your car when you are on the road, then jump out call you a dirty so and so and then report you to their insurance company for having caused an accident so they can repair previous damages to their car. Why should this biz be any different?
Good Luck, stay Strong!
-- Modified on 12/15/2003 12:04:04 AM
I hadnt realized the abuse of reviews for membership was so common until recently when I went part time..In the past 6 months, Ive seen 4 new gentleman locally, seeing mostly regulars and doing some travel..but lo and behold... several reviews went up from gents claiming we met..though the scores were high, I notified staff, and he looked into them. I guess they thought I wouldn't report a fake review with a high score. Wrong!
Recently a review with a low score went up with claims of an act that I'd only been asked to do twice and it had been over a year ago..others mentioned m.o I hadn't done in ages, one waited over 8 months to write about our encounter..he 'fessed up it was to get membership.
Im stickler about keeping track of handles and this is just one of the reasons why and with my seldem seeing anyone new, I remember when I do and what we did...so I know a fake review when I see it, and I will report it, no matter what the score.
Though a girl might have some 10/10 reviews by one time reviewers, it doesn't mean they are fakes. I know that I have those.
On the other hand, I had to ask Staff in the last two weeks to remove a 9/10 and a 10/10 because they were truly fake. The score didn't matter. Not keeping a vigil just makes it much easier for the one time fakes to become credible by piling up a bevy of fake reviews, and many of the hobbyists here seem to think that a string of reviews makes a reviewer more credible than having only one, so better not to let one fake one slip by.
-- Modified on 12/15/2003 10:55:10 AM
It takes character and integrity to have a 10/10 pulled. Good girl!
I asked to have one review removed from someone who wrote it a year after our date and it was never removed nor did I receive a response. I guess they felt I should have been happy with the high score.
Anyone who reads the review should realize that it is obviously an abberation in the comment on your personality and companionship. Unfortunately, some people need to exercise their control of a situation where they have not fared well. Chalk it off to that, ignore it and remain who you are.
I hope that the people that use these boards are intelligent enough to understand that YMMV applies to every provider out there. When two humans get together, there are always two stories of how the events work out. I think it would be a rare person that can be perfectly compatible with everyone they meet.
Unfortunately you cannot please all the people all the time. If you see this as being a trend, maybe then you worry and look to take corrective actions. Until then... just be your best because that is all you can be. If you do, it will all work out in the end.