I don't know if this is really a question, or just one of those things.
Understanding that at a basic level, the provider is working for the client and, for most, interested in doing her job well, sometimes getting a "real" answer is tough.
Part of this is because most of the time when we ask "Would you like to . . ." what we really mean is "I would like to . . ." and so the provider will, of course, say "I would love to!"
A very simplistic example: I sometimes bring a bottle of wine with me, so I'll ask if she likes wine. Now it really doesn't matter to me either way, but I wonder if she is saying yes because she thinks that's what I want to hear. Now before hand on the phone, I can usually explain that it really is her preference I am asking about and not trying to lead her answer.
During a session about more intimate matters, it can sometimes be difficult to make the distinction between questions with "expected" answers and genuine preference questions.
Part of the fantasy is that she's into it, so constantly asking her directly "would you please . . ." starts to feel like I'm paying for it or something So I (and I'm guessing many) "ask" if she would like to . . . to which she always responds enthusiastically. "God YES I want to give you a blow job!" So now we've established the expectation of a yes answer to almost any question. Even if I have my own "code" as to how I ask the preference vs. expected answer questions, the provider doesn't know my system, or may even distrust my assurances that I want her actual opinion on the matter.
I guess it's in the same vein as the "do I look fat?" dance. "No, you look great" "Now don't just say that, tell me for REAL." "No, you look great"
It would seem hard for one person (the woman in this case) to determine how much truth about her preferences the other person (the man) would be tolerant of hearing, even with his assurances that he truly wanted to know. We can think we want the other person to speak freely, but then find ourselves somewhat surprised to learn that they have said something totally unexpected.
Ha wellllll you are paying for something. Me personally i'm a terrible liar and a bad actress and don't think anyone is being helped by being lied. I kinda don't wanna be asked haha I wanna be told turn over, come to edge of the bed etc. I'm sure you can to an extent pick up when someone is well faking an answer. I'm ridiculously blunt if you ask me do you look fat and you do oh i'll tell you yes and if you're doing something i don't like and ask me do i like it i'm going to tell you know and probably tell you a better way to do it buuuutttt s'just me.
I will always lie. Why? Because I am not the guy's real GF and I am being paid to provide a fantasy. Part of that fantasy is not telling the guy he sucks in bed and that I'd rather be somewhere else.Yes I have boundaries and fiercely stick to them, however I will be very enthusiastic with the things I like to do, even if the guy is so not my cup of tea. That's why I get paid the big bucks...to NOT make anyone feel less than great but also NOT to do anything I don't like.
My job is to make him believe that everything is right in this land of P4P and that he leaves feeling fabulous. If I really can't stand the time with him, I will not see him again, but will I tell him if he asks if I had a good time, "No, you did nothing for me and I'm glad it's over?" or will I say "I had a fabulous time, it was great meeting you"..you guessed it number 2. Will I book with him again...no thank you.
I have told the truth before and it gave me nothing but grief. Hence my alternate game plan. I am here to do a job...I do it well, I am not here to be any one's real live GF.
Seriously Blue...not all seriously suck, it's just that I am here for you and you are not here for me, otherwise I'd be paying you.
My preferences are generally not met with my client base and that does not matter. They are great guys and there is a lot to be said for a great personality. And because I am not looking for a life partner or my next BF, it doesn't matter if I am not attracted to the gent.
What matters is how he is treated and that he gets what he is expecting.
Based on the first four words in your post that you always lie, then what you say in your post is not true. However, if you always lie then stating you always lie is a lie and the post is true.
Whattda ya got to say about dat Yours Truly 2010 = 28
Hmmm there's a way to tell the truth nicely.... I like to think depending on the question they already know the answer before they ask. And on the other end one shouldn't ask questions where they might not like one of the answers.
do not ask a question to which you do not want the answer. this seems like the most basic of common sense to me, but so many people seem unable to grok this and insist on doing so anyway. perhaps it is a form of masochism?
Lol not sure, in other ways I've been a glutton for punishment and I'm glad it's not just me in thinking you don't ask if you're not prepared....same with giving ultimatums. I think some people might need reinforcement but still if you're the sensitive type or have a fragile ego be careful.
...nor do i create some "fantasy" facade for them. i offer myself as i am, and put a heck of a lot of time and effort into choosing men as clients who will like who i am and what i have to give.
with me you will not get a fantasy, but you will get sincerity, empathy, compassion. the other thing about me is that i tend to be a literal thinker and hence will only say exactly what i mean. this "quirk" of mine is not so good for getting jokes, but serves me well in developing and maintaining authentic and meaningful relationships with other people.
"do you want to blow me?" She said "not really" I said "do it anyway" She said "where's your dick" I said "right here" She said "that's a dick?!!" I said "go fuck yourself!" She said "that would be better than blowing that little dick"
So be careful what you ask you might get the answer!
I have to agree with lilli above. The best dates are those that both of you just do what comes naturally. I've never asked a woman in the civial world, "can you blow me now? or want to do doggie? or can I lick your ........? and no one has ever asked me, "do you want to put it inside me now? Do you want me to bend over? Well maybe a little dirty talk with a whisper here and there but you get the point. It is the robotic question answere thing that makes me cringe. What ever happens just let it happen. Body language should tell you what to do next.
I also hate those ladies who give you the list of does and don't when you walk in the room, Don't kiss me with too much passion, don't put your fingers up my other end, don't kiss my breasts. If there are things you do not like, then please post them on your website so we know before hand. I will respect your wishes, just let me know in advance.
I saw a woman recently who clearly states no BBBJ on her ads and website. I'm fine with that, but the first thing she said was "I don't do BBBJ" How romantic is that, I told her I already knew and was fine with it, but it took the wind right out of my sail.
if they ask me a question...I Will be honest...so if they ask me if I am into something that I am Not into...I Will gesture to do something else and whisper in there ear...I'm Not into that...and give them some other Pleasure...if a gentleman offers me a glass a wine...and I prefer water...I Will ask for a bottle of water...the way I see it...if You are asking...then You must want an honest answer...and I Will give You that
i think most folks want so much fantasy that there is a lot of speaking in strange enses: you say what you think the other wants to hear to make the fantasy as fantastic as possible.
i am likely in a tiny minority, but i find that tedious. i like to repeat. so with valued albeit compensated friends that won't fly either way.
i prefer a no nonesense no BS we're having fun and it is what it is approach. i like give and take and approaching the encounter as a mutually created piece of performance art. occasionally i will want to call the shots, sometimes i'll want to have them called.
i get bored if "yes" is guaranteed....
at the same time i don't want false negativity either. it's happened, but not with anyone in my review history.
for some folks variety of partners is the spice of life. for me the spice of life is skillful resistance that gets us both to someplace that we both feel is worth the time, effort and compensation involved.
all of this 'lie' business is crazy to me. i like to be exactly what my clients wants for that given time. it's like faking an 'O'. it helps no one, i get no pleasure from it and how does my partner (paying or not) know to do things the best way to make me respond positively if the main parts are faked? =) my guys love the way they turn me on as much as they like their 'O'.
anyway, the only thing that makes me uncomfortable enough to want to lie is when i'm asked how good they are in action or if they're my favorite or best i've had. i usually make a joke and don't really answer lol.
sometimes i feel that this is just as much of a hobby for me, i'm just on the other side. if i were a guy, i'd be an avid hobbyist =)
enjoy the moment you're in and don't obsess about anything else!
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So I (and I'm guessing many) "ask" if she would like to . . . to which she always responds enthusiastically. "God YES I want to give you a blow job!" So now we've established the expectation of a yes answer to almost any question. Even if I have my own "code" as to how I ask the preference vs. expected answer questions, the provider doesn't know my system, or may even distrust my assurances that I want her actual opinion on the matter.
