this is kinda long (and somewhat silly i guess) so i apologize. i just needed to vent and it may be entertaining to some...
just a quick background: have seen a total of 3 providers recently but have experience dating a few ex-strippers/providers many years ago.
so i met one a little over a month ago through a friend/provider and we hit it off wonderfully. she said she was brand new and didn't even really wanna be doing it, but has a 2-year old daughter with a deadbeat dad. i spent alot of time with her the following weeks. she said she hated to even ask for money but really needed it. i had no problems with it. with spending so much time both together and on the phone, i really fell for her. plus, she told me she only saw 2 or 3 clients the whole time (again, because she didn't really want to be doing this and i was helping her out so much). so then last week rolls in and its her daughter's birthday. she wants a big party and asked for help. and by help she apparently meant me paying for everything. of course i was a little irked by the bill of $600 but after seeing how much fun all the kids had, i was fine with it. however, not only did she ignore me the whole time, she had only thanked me 2 days prior - about the cake.
well, i had to leave the party after 3 hours or so and couldn't find her. i let her mother know i had to leave and took off. i didn't hear from her for 3 days so i dropped a few items off at her parents place (where she stays most of the time) and left.
here it is a week later, at 5am no less, and i get a text from her. she's goin off on me saying how i embarassed her by being late to the party and she didn't have the money to get the kids in. (even though it was supposed to start at 1pm but her only ride was at 1130a) she continues by saying that i'm the selfish a-hole for expecting her to thank me. and then it keeps gettin better...
she decided to "be honest" with me and tell me that i'm an idiot for thinking i ever had a chance with her. she gave great detail how she so easily tricked me into shopping, dinners, etc.. all she had to do was "pretend to enjoy sex with me even though she was sick to her stomach the whole time". she also confirmed (another provider told me of this) that she has been with several clients every day she wasn't with me and also on the same day if i was pickin her up in the evening. she bragged about how easily she's got "a bunch of guys" eating out of her hand right now and how she makes plenty of money without me. she ended the barage of texts by saying i should feel lucky she got pissed and decided to drop me because she knew she could've gotten anything she wanted from me - but she realized there are plenty others out there who will take care of her instead.
needless to say, i feel like a fool and am gonna take another long, if not permanent, break from the scene. she doesn't have an ad or website yet, but as soon as i see one, i'll post a review to warn everybody. i don't know if i'm allowed to post her name on here so i'll withhold it for now.
been ther done that.
This sort of BS happened to me once. I'm lucky I did not lose much at all.
I also know of a lady that refused to let me help her when her kid was in the hospital and had no insurance with out her working for it. She quickly became my favorite. She is retired now but we are still good friends. She now works for me at my business. Yes there are plenty of con on both sides of the envelope but there are plenty of honest people as well. Don't let one bad apple spoil your fun. Just mix it up and don't see any one lady to often. Most of all think with your big head.
That's a really bad experience and a very clear example of why to be slow and cautious in relationships. Honestly there are a lot of women with questionable motives and it takes time to disciver what they are.
When I first started this hobby (not long ago) I read carefully the posts about falling for providers and the advice given about it by the good folks in this little cyber community. I decided that the rules must be there for a reason so I continue to follow them to this day and so far my experience has been very good.
We live and we learn. Thanks for posting this as a good warning to others.
I would be interested in her name via pm as I'm sure others would.
Doc
...don't let it keep you away from other girls, as long as you know they're legit. Sounds like this one's a real She-male Man-Hater. It's bad enough to blatantly get used and even worse when someone rubs your nose in it. I agree with the other poster who said you should PM her name to anyone in the area so they can stay far away. It would be a useful lesson for her.
sounds like a horrible experience. i hope that getting and keeping disengaged is as easy as possible for you. many of us have had unpleasant experiences along these lines. yours was clearly very nasty.
it is too easy to say, don't let it eat at you. taking a break might be a good idea, but don't get stuck in a swamp of self doubt. there are folks one can deal with who are not predatory. good luck.
that, "there is a sucker born every minute"
I do not wish to rub the OP's post in this as I believe from his posting that he is suffering enough from indignation and humiliation caused by this whole affair. However, the only reason that he was not sucked completely dry by this "vampiress" is precisely because of the quote attributed to Mr. Barnaum! She let go of the OP for another poor sap who makes for much easier target perhaps without the need for her to feel any semblance of pretend accountability. From the tail end of your post:
"...she ended the barrage of texts by saying i should feel lucky she got pissed and decided to drop me because she knew she could have gotten anything she wanted from me - but she realized there are plenty others out there who will take care of her instead..."
In the grand scheme of things, consider yourself very lucky that you did not lose your 401K or the deed to your house, to this woman. You are now jaded because you got hurt by over extending yourself emotionally and financially to this person. Take some time off and reflect before you jump back in, specially if you have the tendency to assume the role of a "White Knight" in most of your liaisons with providers and strippers. Although I do not universally subscribe to the FOUR EFF protocol of the hobby as subscribed by most to most, I do definitely recommend it to you. Let us recount"
First F: Find them
Second F: Feel them
Third F: Fcuk them (literally, not figuratively)
Forth F: Forget them
I am very sorry to say that very, very, very few people practicing in this industry (both male & female) are serious relationship material. Ladies and Gents, remember this: Most women do this because the remuneration on an hourly basis is really excellent (specially in this economy) and most men do this because men love the variety of pussy. Again, I do not wish to generalize as there are some of the providers/hobbyists are not merely motivated by money.
Thanks for the correction 
you met a really horrible person, you paid her to go away. don't think this kind of person isn't all over civvie land. be careful with yourself and good luck.
head do the thinking.
I mean seriously, if that's all it takes to chase you off, maybe the hobby is not for you?
as some of the more sensitive poster have told you "you got played." Now I am telling you "get over it", it's not the end of the world, I am sure the money is not going to impact your lifestyle, so it's your pride that has been hurt. Just learn your lesson and get on with life. These things happen in both the "real" and P4P world. Don't become a jaded jerk, just be a bit more careful with your emotions, and your money of course. lol
You got taken. She was an ungrateful tramp. But you are fortunate that you did not get taken worse. More than the money, I sense she hurt you emotionally... "It only hurts if you care." She played you. Now you know. I've had civies do that to me. I have made costly mistakes. One still owes me 5K, the second I married, that mistake cost me 5 good years when I could have been with somebody nice... and cost me around 75K.
It is so very easy to fall for someone we have great sex with. It's in the protecter hormones. I always fall for the Fav I'm with... but I rotate a few so it keeps it in perspective.
I recommend against serial repeat meetings with providers. Rescuing ladies is generally a bad idea. Loans & such frequently turn out badly. GIVE her as much as you can afford, but don't expect it back.
skb
different situation altogether, but I think the best advice reading through the posts, better to rotate a few women and not focus too seriously on one Provider, even though she is your ATF.
It's tough when you get emotionally invested, and though you can do your best to safeguard against, if you're human, and we all are, this will happen even in the hobby world. I've become pretty adept at brushing off the disappointments and moving on. But, I do understand your disappointment, and I'm feel better about my own situation reading through the comments and your own experience. So, thanks.
That is my approach. I am at 5, though one is from out of town so we are only regular when she comes to my town or I go to hers. If one goes away, pushes the wrong buttons or I just get bored, it is hardly noticeable. Not saying I do not care about them, just that I do not want to care too much about any one of them. Friendly, ideally, and compatible in the sack, that is all I want. And by compatible, I mean that we each enjoy ourselves a bunch, or at least each of them convinces me she is enjoying herself, too. If she can quiver, lubricate, perspire gently, and breath hard, she either is having fun, or is a great actress - either way it is both fun and admirable.
Used to have a guy who worked for me who decided to mentor a hot, young, single mother who I had known for a while and knew was more than a bit of a tramp. Told me it was his call, but it had not upside and could be a lot of trouble. Actually, she was not that young, late 30s, but very hot. Not too sharp, nice enough lady, but she was not ever going anywhere in the company. After we went through an acquisition she filed a sexual harassment claim against the guy when we gave her notice. Turned out he had lots of documentation that he had never really touched her, but he had helped to support her, coached her, taken tests for her, shared confidential business information and more. He thought they were sole mates, destined to be together.
Needless to say, her boyfriend was the one coaching her through the harassment claim. So he paid her, lost his job, was humiliated and never even got laid. He did hold onto his marriage, though I have no idea how.
I guess it was just P4. So it could be worse, OP, at least you got some.
Zig
That was a very strong reaction on her part, and such reactions are seldom come out of the blue. It would seem that you really pissed her off some how, and it wasn't just being late to the party. My bet is, either you said or did something you're not sharing, or she wanted something more from you and you weren't going to give it to her. Anyway, I believe it was Shudaknownbetter who said something about it not being wise to try and rescue a lady. Very, very good advice. Don't give up on the game, but quit trying to rescue damsels in distress believing they are going to be eternally greateful to you.
It could happen to anyone. You are a lucky guy to get that kind of chemistry going with a provider. Too bad about the harsh ending though. Believe it or not some hobbyists fantasize about having an encounter such as yours. I would have been bored to death with it but thats just me.
such great responses, and i appreciate it. one of you mentioned you think there is more to the story. i hadn't thought of it when i originally posted but i'm pretty sure i know what caused this reaction from her. even though i had been helping her with money, i did mention that i think she's above this type of lifestyle (no offense to providers) and i would do whatever possible to help her get away from it and raise her daughter in a different environment. remember, she did say she didn't like doing it. however, hindsight is 20/20 and i had this conversation with her shortly before her daughter's bday. now, looking back, i think she realized that i was no longer gonna help her as an escort - only as a significant other or more. that's when she decided to come clean and cut me loose. yes, i do feel lucky to some degree that she didn't continue playing me, but it doesn't make me feel better about my people-reading skills. but although she supposedly didn't enjoy her time with me for those 4 weeks, i did. i may not be able to remember her with any positivity but i will surely take this experience with me from here on out.
May the force be with you! You will go far in this hobby.
of something like this. Yes I am a provider. No I don not ask my clients for anything more then what is expected. I get very upset when I hear these type of storeis from gentlemen who have clearly been taken advantage of. Guys...stop letting your lil heads do the thinking for you.
If you pay a woman for sex..She is also making money from someone else. Do not believe for one second it is anything more then that. What ever her personal problems are, they are hers. Not yours. You pay her for an hour or more and that is where the buck should stop. I cant imagine why you guys keep lettingt these females keep getting over on you. Ever wonder why a woman who lies on her back for money has none? is it bad business? Is she that bad with money? Does she have other issues that eat up her money? Either way, the problem is hers, NOT yours. I can not imagine ever asking a client..for anything extra that I did not deserve..
I honestly feel bad when I hear the horror stories some clients tell me.
WAKE UP GUYS....please...I dont mean to sound so MEAN..but you need a wake up call..
Do the math.. even one client a day at the cheapest rate for a girl and over 5 days is alot of money any provider can live on..
Just my 2 cents
yes I did this under an alias.. I dont need the back lass from other providers telling me to mind my own business.. I recently heard one of these horro stories from one of my regulars who I adore spending time with. He traveled across the miles and hired a girl and she pretty much has taken him for a ride..
Good luck guys..
seriously...you need it..
give me your number, i like you
I've had it happen at the hands of civies -- and I learned from it.
What I recommend is that you learn from it too -- NOT in a blanket sort of way, but rather to understand the elements of character in a woman and realize its value.
I am really sad that she took advantage of you.. I have heard the story before. But, Please know that there are some ladies in this little world that have class, dignity and a moral code. What she did to you was wrong. I have to ask....... Where did you find her? Did you do your homework. Sometimes you get what you pay for and more then you bargined for...
The other sad fact is. You allowed her to take advantage of you.. Live and learn. Just don't let it happen again and please do not think we are all that twisted.....
There ARE ladies with solid ethics in the business who would *never* take advantage of a guy.
Of course, ascertaining that aspect of a provider is not the world's easiest task; as there isn't a score for ethics from 1-10. I have always figured it out through indirect correlations; but IMHO, it is the single most important attribute a provider possesses, without which she has nothing else that I want.
You got used as an emotional punching bag, but I think her reaction had very little to do with you. In the days that followed the party, someone did a number on her and made her feel incredibly small. Maybe a a parent, client, etc - tough to say. But the goal of her outburst was to demean you with the specific intention of knocking you down a peg below her. Which, again, sadly means someone did it to her recently. She knew you were available and genuinely NICE - that's the key. She can't knock down someone who's an asshole - they'll fight back. Being a nice guy, she knew you'd take it and move on.
Not to get all head-shrinker, but she's EXTREMELY self-aware... and because she's so "proud" of her ability to have men eat out of her hands, I'll bet a million bucks that there's a whole lot of self-loathing there too. And because she knows you're a "nice guy", she might feel she doesn't deserve you and in a weird way, push you away out of anger at both whomever demeaned her AND out of anger at herself.
Sorry for the clinical breakdown, but you really sounded down. Just know that she's got an ENTIRE set of issues that have very little to do with you. You seem like a really decent guy - YOU deserve better, someone worthy of YOU. Sometimes it's easy to lose sight of that.
damn man, that's really insightful info. that scenario would've never crossed my mind. i am a little bummed about the whole thing but it's gonna be a great lesson moving forward in this business. thanks!