I am amazed at how few hobbyists respond to PM's that I send out.  

I am lucky if one in five guys I send a PM to with a question about a review they wrote respond back to me.  Why is this?  I have six reviews posted, so I am obviously legit.  I post on the DB's all the time.  Almost all of these guys I PM are established and have written multiple reviews (I don't PM guys with just one or two reviews).  And yet, 80% of guys who I PM with something like "You saw so and so and does she really do this?" never write me back.  

I thought that one of the concepts of TER is that we, as hobbyists, can help each other.  Am I naive, or are people lazy?

One of the most frustrating "features" (ie, bugs) of the TER PM system is that it doesn't tell you if the person you're PM'ing is a VIP member, thus having access to their mailbox.

I suspect a fair number of your PMs are going to members who can't read them.

Also in the present paranoid environment many guys only will respond to people that they have seen around for a long time.

Being a fellow of limited means, I'm not able to participate in the hobby as much as I'd like. It's difficult enough to secretly accumulate the money (without the wife noticing), and I have yet been able to set $50 for a VIP membership. Hence, on those special occasions when I am able submit reviews and I get my 15-day VIP membership, I finally get access to any TER mail that folks may have sent me. That's when I respond to anyone who's been kind enough to contact me. And I always apologize for the delay and explain the circumstances. I agree with you that our community should look out for one another -- hobbyists and providers alike. It's just plain RUDE for VIP members not to respond to inquiries, even if it's only to politely decline the information request for whatever their personal reasons.

I've always responded to anyone who PM's me. I've sent a lot of PM's out to fellow members, and I believe most have answered back.

I think it is rude to not answer back. It only takes a couple of minutes to do it and plus your helping out a fellow member.

I was asking simple questions about the political climate and travel thru the city to hobbyists that have been there.  I never got responses.  So I went myself and I will be posting soon.

....but I am wary of answering questions that are problematic if there is a chance that LE is involved, so word your questions carefully...

It's happened to me also and I suspect VP memberships may have lapsed. Although I will only send a PM to TER ID's whom have multiple reviews.
Conversely, I have received PM's from TER members with limited reviews and depending on the question, I will not answer or answer in a "short and sweet" manner with limited details.
In addition, I have received PM's that ask about "stuff" that's already in my details like "Is she really a GFE? "That get's no response unless I know the TER member and then I'd respond with something silly pointing out the already obvious.
I have grown to appreciate PM's from providers on various issues and of course some aimed at the possibility of us getting together on their visits. The same from the local girls.They know what turns me on from reading my reviews and based on their appearance and/or good sense of humor(some indicate they like mine), seek me out.It's a great ice breaker and adds to the eroticism.

Cheers!

VR

-- Modified on 3/5/2004 7:08:13 AM

I think it's rude not to at least acknowledge receiving the PM.  This is no different than email etiquette.  It would be helpful to differentiate VIPs from others or perhaps if we could get some kind of electronic notice if the person is unable to receive your PM.

Recently I reported a minor problem with a review. Instead of 2004, the reviewer mistakenly entered 2003 for the year. I PM'd the reviewer and reported the problem. Never got a response from the reviewer and the review was never re-posted even though I suspect it was entirely accurate (I've seen the provider several times) with the exception of the year.

I've always noted a big difference between male and female email and PM corrrespondents--especially with personal email.

Men are good about responding to business-related email; i.e. if I write, "John, we need to make it a 1:00 visit, not 2:00 pm. Will that work for you?"  The email reply from John is fast.

If I write a polite note afterwards, "John, I really enjoyed meeting you and I hope to see you again on your next trip to New York,"  I estimate only about 25-30% reply back.

So, I wouldn't take it personally--I think most men just aren't particularly interested in personal email communications unless it affects them directly.

Oops--I just saw the poster asked for male opinions only. Sorry--I missed that part!

-- Modified on 3/5/2004 8:33:51 AM

If I receive a request for information about a provider who I reviewed, and the information is already in the review, why should I reply?  Maybe the individual inquiring should spend more time reading the reviews.

I had one person ask me if I had ever seen one of the providers who I reviewed. I responded by saying I only review provider who I have been with.  He stated that he felt most reviews were fabricated and just wanted to verify what I had written had actually occurred.  

I attempt to provide accurate answers to any inquire that I feel is legitimate.  


-- Modified on 3/5/2004 10:11:27 AM

I am very leery about PMing other reviewers with questions about their reviews especially after one reviewer reported my PM to the provider and she recognized me and got angry at me.  I simply don't trust any reviewers with any questions as they may report them to the provider to score points with her.

you get a point for honesty!  At least you noticed the "guys only" bit eventually.  I include that when it is a gender relative question sometimes just to see who will cross the line, and inevitably, someone does.  You were cute about it, though.

As much as I hate gender generalizations, I tend to agree with you here.  Most men I know aren't as interested in non-point specific e-mails as women I know are, and I can only chalk it up to men not being as socialized as women as they grow up.

Next time I will put "No aliases, please" :P

I get the impression non-VIP's are more common than I had imagined.  Maybe that is it.  I just assumed if a guy have more than five reviews, he likely was a VIP.  Hmmm.

I guarantee you, if I PM someone, there is a good reason, and I state it well.  So, I will assume that the VIP thing is the real culprit.  Thanks for the feedback.

The reason I do or don't respond has nothing to do with you and your desires. Duh. When someone phones your house, you can choose not to pick up the phone and let the answering machine get it, right? When someone knocks on your door, you can choose to ignore them, right?

I have gotten PMs that say, "I'd like to ask you about your review" or "Can you tell me what's in your review" or "Hey, nice review about Lady X, what was she like?" The reason I wrote the review IN THE FIRST PLACE was so I wouldn't have to PM people to explain to them what Lady X was like, DUH DUH DUH!!!

I also don't always keep a full TER membership. Sometimes I'm a VIP member, sometimes I'm a basic member. I tend to prefer to maintain a lower profile and don't log in for a while, so if you write to me expecting me to be as "up" about the ladies as you are, then you'll be disappointed to find I actually do MY OWN thing instead of ACT LIKE YOU ALL THE TIME.

Another point is, sometimes I just don't bother. People like you have more energy than me. PM-ing is yet another manner of typing ideas into web forms. I already do reviews, bulletin boards, my many private and personal emails. I don't owe you jack squat. Get offa my back.

Here's a parallel. Say I own a washing machine and you don't, and I've given you the right to drop on by whenever I'm at home and run your laundry. So, you come by one day with your laundry and I'm not around because I went to the store. What do you do? Post on a bulletin board, "Why do some people lock their doors and not answer them?" Or do you realize *I'VE ALREADY DONE YOU A FAVOR* and therefore you don't have the right to complain about me failing to do you ANOTHER one?

Yeesh ...

-- Modified on 3/6/2004 7:54:43 AM

-- Modified on 3/6/2004 7:55:15 AM

He thought most reviews were fabricated? But then, why didn't he think most responses to the question, "Is your review genuine?" Were also fabricated? I mean, if he didn't trust the review database, why did he trust the person who put the review IN the database?

-- Modified on 3/7/2004 6:49:18 AM

At least for me it is.  I'm not always a VIP member and it can be months before I am, therefore months before I can even read a message.  I probably have messages right now.  In the past, if still timely, I have responded.  People don't have to post reviews and people don't have to read and respond to messages either.  

Having posted reviews posted doesn't mean you're legit.  It just means you've posted some reviews of encounters with providers which may or may not have occurred.

If you send me a message I promise I'll reply if and when I'm a VIP member.