Hi
I was just told by an escort named Lisa Butler From Florida that she wouldn't see me because I am black. She said that she had a bad experience with one black guy so now she wont see any.  If someone doesn't want to see me I donate care but the fact that its for such a stupid reason has me feeling very hurt and and insulted.

YOu mean to tell me escorts dont have bad experiences with men of all colors?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

...She's probably lousy anyway... there are many who don't mind. I wouldn't give it or her a second thought. Think about this business and you can understand, but to get upset only plays into the very hatred that you are trying to understand. Not worth the brain cells.

Killen Winslow Sr in a TV interview states that he wanted his son(now with the Cleveland Browns) to attend a college where the football coach was black.  No one raised an eyebrow.  Race based situations work in both directions.

Groovefox, do you mean to say that if a man was not turned on by a woman of different ethnicity than himself that he should be intimate with her?
There are many who aren't attracted to whites, blacks, asians, latinos, indians, aliens, or whatever - for any reason or no reason at all. Does this mean that individuals should have relations with those they are not attracted to? Is this a reasonable expectation?
Can you accept the fact that this is still a free country and folks here can still choose thier own partners?
Be real. If you were called names, degraded or had insults hurled at you that's a different story.
"The fact that its for such a stupid reason?!?" Unless you have been there, you can not know.
You allowed this to hurt and insult you??
It's quite obvious that you do care that she wouldn't see you because you have plastered her name and state in your post in an attempt to harm her, in my opinion. It is called revenge.
At least she had the balls to tell you the truth.
If you have balls, you would do the right thing.

She makes her own decisions.  I am not black, but have had a provider not see me because she thought I sounded "straight laced" so she thought I was a cop, even after verifying a ton of info.  That is just the way it is, nothing you or I can do, it is best to move on and realize that she is giving up business and a potential great customer.

This is HER problem, not yours... and obviously NOT about you personally.  Perhaps her bad experience in the past was actually traumatizing?  It is possible that this is a real problem for her and not just a racial bias.  Leave her to deal with her own life, and find someone who will appreciate you.

Oh...
and EVERYday I get a thousand hits to my webpage of people who decide not to meet me.  Is it because I am white?  Because I am 31?   Because I am brunette not blond?  Because I am a B cup?  Can you start to see why this IS NOT PERSONAL?

I used to get offended by race-based screening--but then I considered my own biases in choosing a provider, and it doesn't seem so bad. Sometimes when I "shop" for a provider, I'll eliminate black or asian providers because I want a white girl that night; or I'll choose only black providers if I want the experience to be less about fantasy and more about comfort and familiarity. I avoid asians or latinas because I can't connect with them as well. My reasons have nothing to do with looking down on anyone...it's simply based on my experiences, just like those providers. That's the beauty of hobbying--so many women, so little time...if the fish you caught is rotten, toss it back and keep fishing.

Yo Not
Do the right thing?
I have the right to speak my mind and voice my opinon when someone says they think I will harm them just because of the color of my skin.

As for posting her name. She posted publicly that she screens by race so I am not saying anything that she hasnt already stated publicly. Is this revenge no its the truth.


Fact is I could care less if she didnt want to see me but I do have a problem with someone accusing me of being a criminal or thug just because of the color of my skin.

And if you cant understand that then maybe you need to change your screen name to somthing more suitable.

Likes
With all do respect you are missing the point.
It is wrong on both sides. I am just as offeded by the story you metioned as you are.

Bottom line...... I am no thug, I am no criminal, and to assume I am just because my skin is darker than yours is dead wrong!!!!

Hi Sola
I feel where you're comming from.
I just couldnt get past the fact that someone thought I'd try to hurt them because of my color. If it was they just werent atracted to black men I would care.

And just so you know I would love to see a 31 year old brunette........not blone with B cups.
You ever come to Philly? ;o)

As in a previous post, you would think that most escorts get it, but all people should have a choice of who they see. I don't answer questions re: race and I think if a provider wants to screen on that criteria, then fine. But many of the comments in this thread remind me of why the USA is behind the rest of the world in race relations. We are quick to set down rationalizations and use weak analogies for why we all make certain choices. Let's face it, many women, don't want to see a man of color, not because he's got a big dick, but because we live in a land too busy to celebrate differences. And pity the person who asks for advice when the venom of the beast lies and waits. I have dated the rainbow in and outside of the hobby. While we all have our 'preferences' race does not enter into the equation unless by someone else. Groove, I don't get the same crap you do because though my skin is 'tanned', I am a mixture of several races including white. Women in and out of the hobby ask me where am I from? That to means, I am not sure what you are, but if your money is green, then come on in... Oh, and by the way, I don't usually date blonds...not one of my preferences.

It could have been worse.  You could have wasted your money on her.  There's far too many quality providers out there to spend time or energy thinking about those who profile based on race.

when it comes to allowing someone to enter your body (or when it comes to entering someone else's) I don't think there is any obligation to do what you don't want to, no matter the reason.  It's not like you got turned down for a job, car loan or appointment to the bench.  Provider and hobbyist are entitled to their likes and dislikes.  As the poster above advises, move on.

No man/No woman is obligated to sleep with everyone! We all have preferences: some like big, small, dwarfs, martians, yellow, red, brown, and black. Not everyone has to be attracted to everyone. A provider has a right to be comfortable in her surroundings, and if that means excluding other's, so be it. That is her choice. There are blk men who only see white women. Should blk women complain, then? No. There are white men who only see blk women. Should white women complain? No. I refuse to sleep with someone that I just don't feel comfortable with. That is that.

Good!
Ummm... there's a pun in there, I just am not that great a wordsmith to pull it out... doh!  there is another lurking...

Anyways,
I can understand being upset, but let it roll right off you.
 
I was in Jamaica for a week.  Felt like I had "rich white American patsy" written on my forehead.  Of course, none of 'em knew I'm a reggae loving, depending on frequent flier miles, staying with a friend to avoid hotel costs kinda' traveler, who just manages to make it through my life with a minimum of "good-old-fashioned-USA-values".
(shrug)

We will ALL be judged unfairly in our lives.  It's not our problem.

As to Philly, never been there... which is the best reason to go.  Who knows?  If LA treats me right this month, I may just get the traveling bug!  If YOU make it to Seattle, gimme' a heads up.
: )

xoxo,
Sola

Where have you ever stated that she thought "you would hurt her because of your color?"  I just went through all your previous posts and that little tidbit isn't there!  All you have mentioned is that she had a bad experience with a black person once.  Now she has chosen not to see them

This is her decision.  You shouldn't be insulted by it.  I've had providers tell me no for whatever reason, and I just decided to myself it's their loss, not mine, and moved on.

If I can be selective about who I see, well then so can she (and YOU) for whatever reason.  It's an individual's choice.

Hello everyone.
You all make good points and I respect everyones opinion.
To those who stress the issure of he choice let me stress again. My issue was the notion that me being black meant I was someone to be afraid of. Not that she wouldnt see me.

But I have moved on. As a matter of fact I found one heck of a fish in the sea to bounce back with. I have a "dream date lined up with one of my all time favorite porn stars. And after talking to her I can safley say I got better things to focus on right now ;o)_
this whole thing is a dead issue. I kind of actully feel silly that I got so worked up.



-- Modified on 10/5/2004 2:02:03 PM

Very well said. Bravo

"I kind of actually feel silly that I got so worked up."

This my friend is the conclusion that I hoped you would come to. As a white male who was married to a black women for over 25 years in which five interracial daughters were produce, (2 married to black men and 3 married to white men, I would like to provide you with a little insight.

First and foremost a women has the right to decide who she wants to sleep with for whatever reson. It just doesn't matter.

And as one hobbyist comment, it had nothing to due with buying a house, getting a job or trying to further your education.

And as a matter of fact, there are just as many black providers who will not see black males as there are white providers

I love this country and the people in this country but the fact of the matter is that bigotry and prejudice is a part of our national fabric. However, it is universal. there are people who don't like Jews, Italians, Muslims, Germans etc. etc. etc. you can let those people control you or you can chose to accept it as a reality of life.

Race and religion are the two most emotional and sensitive subjects in our society, thread lightly and pick your fights in the proper arena at the proper time.

I do not know what you expected when you wrote this post, but if you expected anything less than different and various opinions, you may want to rethink the issue. Those white people who agree with you are considered bleeding heart liberals, those that disagree are considered close minded bigots, both considerations are flawed and unrealistic.

Last but not least always keep your emotions under control, and looked at the entire situation as a dose of reality. It appears that you have done that, just another one of life's lessons, good luck with your porn star, and enjoy the good things people have to offer and let the negative things roll off you back.

Midnight.
Thanks for you'r opinion.
I wasnt trying to acomplish anything.
I was angry and needed to vent. I just have the tendency to do that when I'm assumed by someone to want rape, murder, or rob them because I'm black. ............Maybe I need counciling for that....................lol

As for the porn star. Shawna is an awesome babe. I total knock out. And she has done interacial porn so I'm covered there...lol