TER General Board

Is providing a lonely life sometimes?
Here_I_Go 2968 reads
posted
1 / 42

Dealing with an odd situation. A few weeks ago, I made an appointment with a relatively young provider.  Not many reviews.  At the time of the booking she was hugely communicative.  Moreso than I have ever seen.  She was the one initiating all the discussion.  I was going to meet her on a business trip.  

Then as we got closer to the date, she started to express doubt about the meeting.  I couldn’t figure out why.  Then she went dark and bailed.  I assumed that something I said made her nervous.   But I can’t pinpoint anything.   So I wrote her off, and have not communicated since.  

Now she has reappeared and started a dialog again.  I am at a safe distance, since we live in two different cities.  It feels like she might be lonely, and just wants to chat sometimes.  Ladies - any thoughts on what is going on?

I am reluctant to make another booking, after what happened the first time.  She is hugely intriguing, but I am reluctant to try again.  

GaGambler 135 reads
posted
2 / 42

Wouldn't it be a whole bunch easier to simply ask her?

 
As for your question about being lonely you might as well ask "is being a john lonely?" There are thousands, maybe even millions of hookers, some of them lonely, some of them with a plethora of friends and family.

mrfisher 115 Reviews 109 reads
posted
3 / 42

But it could be any of a number of things, including good old BSC.

Here_I_Go 89 reads
posted
4 / 42

Because you and others here are a source of infinite wisdom, on all things hobbying.  

Here_I_Go 95 reads
posted
5 / 42

Been around for about two years, but only 5 reviews.

Hpygolky 233 Reviews 78 reads
posted
6 / 42

Did you send  her a "Dick Pic"?...Anyway, something went "chop,chop" along the way. Not sure what kinda conversation went on but she had second thoughts or maybe her puppy dies...who knows.
And by the way, just ask her "what's up", that's the best way to find out why she resurfaced.

NoelleSmth See my TER Reviews 102 reads
posted
7 / 42

When I am single, I am never lonely. I live a very active lifestyle.

When offering companionship, I'm never lonely, because I get to meet so many unique and wonderful people.

The only times I get lonely is during a committed relationship, in that horrible moment when the fella replaces the "perceived me" with the "real me" and becomes disillusioned and withdrawn. That moment is always the beginning of the end, and it stirs up very deep feelings of sadness and loneliness in me. So I avoid it like the plague that it is.

And now you know why I am the Lovely Solitaire - happiest when she is solitary and alone.

But never lonely ;)

eroticspirit 28 Reviews 104 reads
posted
8 / 42

"Loneliness is poverty of self...solitude is fullness of self." (Buddhist quotation)

Yep---that says it all!!

impposter 49 Reviews 103 reads
posted
9 / 42

Posted By: eroticspirit
Re: There's a timeless saying...
"Loneliness is poverty of self...solitude is fullness of self." (Buddhist quotation)
Solitaire - Neil Sedaka http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPe5pBR-6GM
Solitaire - Laura Branigan http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tKRhM8qlPA

Here_I_Go 25 reads
posted
10 / 42

Thanks for the theory.  But I don’t think it applies here.  Once I make a booking, I stop contact until reconfirmation.  I figure that providers have better things to do than deal with a bunch of time wasting banter.  

 
She responded on P411, and took the discussion to text.  We confirmed a time, and I thought we were done.  But then she initiated all the banter, sent me unblurred pics, without me asking for them, wanted to know more about me, asked about places I have travelled to, and so on.  She talked about how her mom and dad split up, what her interests and hobbies were, and so on.  I concluded that it was just her way of doing business - getting to know the client better and building rapport.  

 
When she went dark, and eventually resurfaced, I was all business, and showed no anger or emotion after the fact.  Then I stopped communicating.  Weeks later, she reaches out and starts another conversation. Sends another picture.  At this point, I am remaining polite,  but I have no intention of trying to rebook, given what happened the first time.  I am expecting that this all just fades away, and I am working hard not to be a jerk, while it does.  She just feels vulnerable or something.  

 
This kind of feels like someone who may not be comfortable with the business.  Feels odd.  Also, if that is the case, I don’t really want to be pushy and cause her to take appointments that she really doesn’t want to take.  It’s all too bad, because she looks and sounds incredible.   This feels more like a sugar baby conversation than a provider conversation.  Not that I have any first hand experience in the sugar bowl.  

-- Modified on 3/13/2018 6:46:06 AM

VelvetVacation See my TER Reviews 110 reads
posted
11 / 42

She sounds like she's still  
figuring things out.  

 
She's knows what she's supposed to do.
She lacks the confidence to stay on the path,
because she's OverThinking the whole scenario.

Sidney Starr See my TER Reviews 84 reads
posted
12 / 42

When they are in a relationship they are lonely? If I am dating someone I stay true to myself and I keep my life as is. Meaning I still do my thing and hang out with my friends. Relationships are supposed to be complimentary , not overshadowing or suffocating.

coeur-de-lion 400 Reviews 106 reads
posted
13 / 42

Yes, it is lonely and boring being a provider.  The only contact they have with others is a bunch of horny guys shoving envelopes full of cash in their faces.  Its enough to make them want to heave.  A few ladies have figured out how to minimize all of that "lonely" time by taking some of that vile, wretched cash and going shopping, having a spa day, a weekend trip, or just buying dinner for their favorite customer (as a provider unexpectedly did for me this past weekend).   So she may want to keep the lines of communication open with you because she has you pegged as one of those guys that's not going to try to push a bunch of filthy lucre on her.  You just want to talk.  My wisdom is not "infinite", but makes sense after reading your OP.  

Jacque_Jenesais See my TER Reviews 80 reads
posted
14 / 42

Posted By: eroticspirit
Re: There's a timeless saying...
"Loneliness is poverty of self...solitude is fullness of self." (Buddhist quotation)  
   
 Yep---that says it all!!

MfSD 39 Reviews 100 reads
posted
15 / 42

My former ATF told me it could get lonely on the road when she was touring the country. More than once she invited me to stay over (OTC) after our dinner date was over.  Anyone who travels on business knows this feeling and just because you're intimate with a client, it isn't like they're company just stopping over to say hi and chat.

MfSD>>>>

coeur-de-lion 400 Reviews 19 reads
posted
16 / 42

when you say she is "vulnerable."  She sounds closer to BSC to me.  I have seen over 600 providers and NOT ONCE has anyone shared this kind of personal information BEFORE ever meeting me in person.  Many have after becoming a regular.  That she is willing to engage on this level with a guy she knows nothing about is a bit unhinged.  You are right to distance yourself.  I wouldn't worry about being a jerk if you have to.  You have no investment with this woman since you have not even seen her yet.  Playing the jerk card may get her to stop "reaching out."  Don't fall into the trap of continuing the communication because a hot younger woman is paying some attention to you.   Its often a setup for a hustle of some kind.  

HappyChanges 28 reads
posted
17 / 42

use the force. If it "feels odd" it's odd. You never met, right? Just try to talk you off the ledge, kind of. You seem like the type of guy to book her again and travel to her or waste your time responding to find out.

Who knows, she may be a Gem and your missing out? Didn't someone say, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. You should book her again and report back to the group.

Here_I_Go 19 reads
posted
18 / 42

Massive age gap.  I could be her dad, so that rules out anything more than a business relationship, I would think.  Which I assume she fully gets.   Next time I travel to her city, I will consider whether or not to try again.   Not likely though.  My hobby windows are few and far between, so I avoid situations that could go flakey.  

GaGambler 19 reads
posted
19 / 42

The oldest GF I have had in the last twenty years or so was 14 years younger than me, most of my GF's in the last couple of decades have been at least 20 years younger than me and one was almost exactly 30 years younger.  

 
Now when a girl is young enough to be my "grand daughter" I pretty much rule out anything serious happening between us, but I ONLY consider women young enough to be my daughter young enough to date. I am 59 which means I could easily have a daughter who was 40ish and I can't imagine having a GF that old. lol

Here_I_Go 21 reads
posted
20 / 42

LOL.  She is borderline granddaughter territory too.  I know one thing.  You have more game than I have ever had.  Not afraid to admit that one.  

Still chuckling over the title of your post.  Thanks.  

Here_I_Go 23 reads
posted
21 / 42

These last two posts are like having two versions of me on my two shoulders.   One screaming “stay away” like CDL is saying, and the other pushing me to give her a try.   Kind of like your last paragraph.  The CDL version of me is likely to win,  but a while back I went against my better judgement where every common sense notion said BSC, and I booked anyway.  She ended up busting up part of my hotel room, and chugging all my wine, but the sex was off the charts insane.   So you never know.  Interesting world we play in.  

 
@CDL - I have never seen this behavior either.  But I am at about 1/6 of your volume.  

-- Modified on 3/13/2018 4:29:07 PM

Here_I_Go 18 reads
posted
22 / 42

Cool that you get on so well with the older guys.  Nice post.

GaGambler 23 reads
posted
23 / 42

and she too busted up the room, caused about $500 worth of damage and proved to be by far the most BSC woman I have ever met. When I say BSC I mean multiple instances of involuntary commitments to the loony bin, and a virtual duffle bag of antipsychotic meds that she was "supposed" to take every day, but she may have been the best lay I have ever had in my life and I have fucked literally thousands of women

 
Come on don't be a wimp, What could possibly go wrong??? lol

Here_I_Go 14 reads
posted
24 / 42

I have since heard that a guy and her started partying in a session.  He passed out before they did anything, and she took off with his cash.  Don’t have a lot of sympathy for that guy.  He’s lucky she didn’t tie him up and take his clothes.  

When she saw me, she had just bought some kind of new leather outfit.  Underneath the street clothes.  Couldn’t stop checking herself out in the mirror.  But once she figured out I was still there, the experience was insane.  Still not sure if I have the nerve to book again.  

HappyChanges 20 reads
posted
25 / 42
Here_I_Go 18 reads
posted
26 / 42

No.  It was pointed out that the girl in OP could be BSC.  I responded by talking about meeting another lady who was BSC.  

chase1503 15 Reviews 83 reads
posted
27 / 42

Depends on the provider. I am always a little surprised when a provider talks about their husbands and families. They are obviously in full disclosure to those around them.  

But more often, they have 2 sets of friends - social/family and then their professional friends. And never the twain shall me.  They lead double lives. I can see how that would not only be stressful & complicated, it would also limited their ability to develop meaningful relationships. After all, the people in their life's know only half of what is going on. And issues would extend over both sides of their lives.  

Lonely - maybe not. Feeling lonely - a much better chance

HappyChanges 17 reads
posted
28 / 42

It's odd that your questioning contacting a leather clad "BSC" hooker and an unknown hooker in the same thread. Either way, both of them seem like great girls.

GaGambler 19 reads
posted
30 / 42

I do remember her real name, but obviously I can't pass that info along. I am pretty sure she is no longer in the biz, most likely she is back in the loony bin.

Madison_Ohare See my TER Reviews 103 reads
posted
31 / 42

the worse for me is missing my pets when I stay out of town overnight more than 2 days.  I don't think about them until the day is done. On my way home will stop to get them first if I boarded them.  Poor babies grieve too, even though they know the drill.  They always forget the part that I will come back to get them.  It is horribly sad for me to leave them.  I am never lonely at home, even when I am alone.  I have learned to love my time with myself.  And when I take it, it is not wasted time but actually allowing ideas to flow

The situation with your girl I am clueness

Madison

coeur-de-lion 400 Reviews 79 reads
posted
34 / 42

petroleum-based.  Too much of it CAN make her BSC.  

MadisonsAvenue See my TER Reviews 17 reads
posted
35 / 42

she is really nervous and just trying to get to know you
maybe she was a SB and now a new provider

MadisonsAvenue See my TER Reviews 85 reads
posted
36 / 42
CamilleUK See my TER Reviews 104 reads
posted
37 / 42

95% of my life is not in any way connected to my life beyond the veil. That has changed over time though for a plethora of reasons. When I was providing in the US and I was away from my family etc I had 2 very close friends (both providers - now retired who I am still in touch with). We trusted each other implicitly, met each other’s families (none of whom knew at the time) and had emergency plans god forbid anything happen to any of us. I hold these women very close to my heart (up there with family) and truly cherish the friendship we have endurered. Other friends in the US eventually found out what I did (I was outed) and as I disclosed in another post they hated the outing more than they hated what I did so they stayed (and remain) friends also. I think I was very lucky because I could have so easily become isolated
Being away from home - as we all know, this life doesn’t lend itself well to public acceptance so it’s eash to feel a need to hide or walk the path alone.  I think it’s incredibly important to have interests away from this life to keep you balanced and feeling as though you belong to a commmnuty in some shape or form outside of this one...
These days, as I have said, such a small amount of my life is spent providing that it’s not an issue at all. I have a very full life that I thoroughly enjoy x

Madison_Ohare See my TER Reviews 83 reads
posted
38 / 42
OliviaLux See my TER Reviews 111 reads
posted
39 / 42

It can be a super lonely life... especially if you are independent as most providers are; we are all very busy and often travel a lot so it's hard to connect and meet up. And some providers don't like being friends with other providers because they see them as 'competition' (which is something I disagree with and I think is very unhealthy!)

However, in this situation it seems like she is being flaky or scared and is bowing out. From how little reviews she has and for how long she's been active, maybe it's something she only does when she's desperate for cash or in a particularly hard place... a very bad sign for having a positive experience. I would ask her honestly if something went wrong or if you made a bad step, but from how polite your above post is I highly doubt it. I would write it off as her being a little unprofessional, and I wouldn't count on being able to rely on an appointment with her.  

xoxo
Olivia

MsStellaLuna 93 reads
posted
40 / 42

It's hard to say. The biggest thing I've learned in this industry is that everyone is different and sees things in their own unique way. And that people are always changing, growing and adapting. How we feel about something one day might be different than how we feel the next. And certain people, places and situations influence our outlook and emotions. So I would say until you know more, try not to make any assumptions. I'm sure she wouldn't mind if you reached out and expressed interest. Who knows? Maybe your date will be incredible and maybe she'll flake. You'll never know until you try. xx

MP67 11 Reviews 83 reads
posted
41 / 42

I dig this response. Sounds like she thinks you're a decent guy from what she gathers. It's a fucked up deal, but sometimes a person can read between the lines and appreciate what and why they're here. I say give her another chance. Especially if you find her appealing and intriguing. Weirder things have happened... ;)

QueenBia See my TER Reviews 100 reads
posted
42 / 42

Maybe she does not, like her job

Maybe she has a pimp.  Maybe she is a drug user who had mood swings.  Maybe she is lonely.  Maybe she is burnt out.  Maybe you should ask her directly instead of asking a board.

What does it matter if your not planning on repeating?  Put your cape on & go save her.

Register Now!