I am mid 50s and in excellent shape.  I typically have sex 3 times a week and it has become increasingly more frustrating.  It now is almost impossiable for me to get off now matter what the lady does.  Is this a common problem, and any ideas what I can do?  I talk to my lady friends and they tell me it occassionally happens to some of their clients, but not every time like me. I even tried going for a month without, but it made no difference, just had one horney as month. Any ideas?

I'm no doctor or shrink, but I do fall into ruts where the sex is not as grand as it once was.

To offset that, I've spoken to my favorites as well as met new providers and done a few kinky things likes sploshing, a bit of BDSM and yes, sorry if it grosses you out a bit, water sports (peeing, that is.)

It gets my kink going and I'm a new man for a while.

I'll take your word for it that you are in excellent condition, but when you are in your fifties, be sure a doctor has checked you out, especially for things like Vitamin deficiency.  I started taking that recently after my doctor found out that mine was low, and I think it has improved my libido somewhat.

I was diabetic and didn't know it for a decade. One of the things it can do is lessen you sensitivity to the point of non-orgasm. You are asking a question on a board when you should be asking a urologist.

Go see one.


HH

he better get mad...51 and mrnogood over here and find out what kind of therapy he needs and what conspiracy this could be link to. (including some youtube links)


HH

Get out of the routine and do the unexpected.....


everyone needs to get a little Kink on once in a while  . . . .


Have fun & play safe!

Summer

and that diagnosis is just as good as any random stab at an answer you'll get: not so useful for you. lol

I'd have to agree with Halfy,
go see a doctor, someone who specializes in dick conditions,
and get your package checked out.

Also get a complete health exam... make sure you don't have underlying issues, cuz it's probably related.

I have two words for you: Prostate Massage.  If the lady won't do it to you, do it to yourself while you are with the lady.  It is easy, peasy.  Just reach around, take a long deep breath, and push you finger into your anus as far as it will go.  Now you will have to root around until you have hit the spot.  You will know when you have found it.  Next, massage like hell until you blow your load.  One word of caution, you may experience a little blood and discomfort, but these symptoms should go away after a week or so.  Good Luck!

How do you know you had diabetes for a decade ?
You sure it wasn't only a year ?
Most undiagnosed diabetes results in Periodontal disease
long before ten years is up.
  Maybe you didn't go to the dentist for ten years..LMAO
 

Posted By: HalfHour

I was diabetic and didn't know it for a decade. One of the things it can do is lessen you sensitivity to the point of non-orgasm. You are asking a question on a board when you should be asking a urologist.

Go see one.


HH

If you do that to excess, it can harm performance.  If you can still rub 'em out with porn, that may be source of the problem.  Also, lack of performance may be due to thinking about this too much when meeting with the ladies.

I would also visit with your doctor ASAP...loss of sensitivity and performance issues may be a precursor for atherosclerosis or other health problems.  Get yourself checked out...

Face it.  Deep down you're a fag.  Go get some dick to suck and you'll cum like a bull.

Kidding - go see the doc.  Maybe a shrink.  Stop playing with yourself.

I have to agree with this...  If you can still rub one out with porn THEN you have enough sensation to be fuctional.  Lots of older men have these problems BUT a check up & some honesty with your doctor would be helpful to be sure there's not an underlying issue.
I do have a partial spinal cord injury & things feel different but they still work...  when the exact right spot is hit.
Reason for laying off the self stim is that you body learns very quickly to respond to it...  and we know just how to hit that spot needed.  
Now, with provider sex...  things are covered.  That barrier reduces sensation.  Are you getting the best fit?  Friction is what makes for sexual response.  When the condom covered P moves against her, the friction is outside...  for her.  Movement on the inside, creates friction for you.  So the condom fit is critical...  must be loose enough for movement inside but tight enough to stay on.  Or find a lady who will use Female condoms.  
Do you use Viagra?  Viagra was shown in a study (men with premature ejaculation) to delay cumming.  Not certain how that applies to other men but that's the only study I've seen.
Then there is mental focus...  If I lose my focus, I'll lose firmness & momentium.  I work on this by controling my environment...  keeping it distraction free.  Soft music...  enough to block outside sounds.  Right temperature.  No pressure to be elsewhere.
Last is performance anxiety...  I am not qualified to discuss this but on the surface it seems tied to focus & self fulfilling prophecy...  
Good luck to you,
jtp    

well you are in your mid 50s so that would mean your testosterone levels are not what it was when you were in your 20s 30s or 40s.

...masterbating can result in a lack of sensitivity.
Makes me wonder "dang, how hard you rubbin one out it..talk about beating yourself off..lol"

There was a woman sex therapist who used to answer questions on this topic on TER years ago.

Common causes are: Too much hardcore porn, too much masturbation, wrong kind of masturbation (face down on bed), vitamin V (Viagra), antidepressant medications, stress/control issues. If using vitamin v, try a lower dose or change to cialis or Levitra or go without. Trying a looser condom can help, ie Trojan Magnum thin, putting a little lube on your penis under the condom can also help (gives you more rubbing sensation directly on your skin), but you need to be sure it won't slip off. Abstaining before for several days can help. Having a beer or two before can also help you relax. Finishing with your hand, bbbj, Russian, between her cheeks, in her armpit,etc. can all be tried.