After some 15 plus years being out of the 'scene' my best friend/housemate coaxed me to go to a local night club last night. Although it was comforting to see others my age there  I still found the environment somewhat uncomfortable for myself
(I never have been at ease in that environment). I guess I have to learn to adapt if I'm to ever meet civilian ladies. You certainly can't meet them on the job or you'll find you won't have a job. I just wish one of the two scenereos I pray for within my "hobbying" world could just come true. Hobbying has proved such a pragmatic answer to the question of sexual needs and to an extent companionship. I however need to triple or even quadruple my income to truly cover the companionship factor.
    The sweetest most truly honest and ethical ladies I have met have been providers. Some of the most deplorable, self rightious hypocrites and mercenarys I have met have been civilians. I have read countless threads here about all the troubles and heartache associated with looking at your provider as anything more than your provider. It would seem falling for a provider is as risky as falling for anyone.  Where am I going with all of this I don't know. I do know that even though IAATM as 'Cynicalman' so often points out; At this moment, in my universe; Nothing would make me happier than to be having brunch with my ATF.

Hey Patriot - I hear you.  No matter with a provider or a civilian, to fall in love with anyone is one of the biggest risks of them all. Risking of your heart. But that's what life is all about.

I'm sitting here on a Sunday, watching the Chargers play the Packers, and wishing I were having brunch (or doing anything) with my ATF too.

In a bar, on the job, or in the hobby... just enjoy all that female companionship has to offer. And when it feels right, risk your heart (and experience life in the process). Just remember the old saying... "It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never have loved at all!"

Oh, and think about picking up some odd jobs (depending on what you do for a living), to help pay for things along the way!!

I'm really glad you posted this, and I want to tell you how timely it was.

First, to comment on your post as is:
I've never been comfortable in the night club setting no matter what place in my life, or age. I don't know your age, or your situation, but I would suggest meeting 'civie' women in 'normal' course-of-life places, or groups. They do have singles sports groups (biking, hiking, canoeing, etc.) and of course groups for single parents, etc. Church groups, PTA, volunteer programs are a great way to meet people.

I'm glad you have found comfort, companionship and more in the Game, and that you enjoy the company of your ATF. That's the whole idea. Kudos to her for taking such good care of you!

Studies have shown what makes a person happy in their job rarely has to do with money. While money is a factor in our profession, it is NEVER "all" about the money. We ladies try to do different things, big and small, to show our clients that no, it's not about the money. We care about you.

I mentioned that your post was timely. I just finished reading it when my Outlook 'dinged' I had email. It was an email from a gentleman I'd recently seen. It was truly one of the most beautiful emails I've ever received and made tears flow. I can't describe how wonderfully joyous and warm I feel inside knowing that the time I shared with someone meant that much to him. His circumstances were special and I'm so honored he chose me.
I guess what I want to say is..money? The gratification and joy I have reading this email - which I will keep - is, well, priceless.

Thank you for your post, and Merry Christmas.

Sedona

First of all, I am not very experienced in crossing that boundary with a provider.  So put as much faith in my comments as what you paid for them.

I can agree with your assessment that hobbying can lead to meeting some wonderful women.  But unlike meeting women in the ciivlian world, your initial provider meetings are based on a fantasy or a quick escape.  And as long as you are still doing appointments with the provider, I don't think you can be sure that any off the clock activities (such as brunch), are still not related to your "client" status.  Perhaps you only really know where you stand when you cease to be a client.  At that point you might know if you were really only just a "client", or if there was something more there.

Enjoy the time you have with your ATF(s) as much as you can.  And I would be very careful before investing too much emotionally in anything outside of that time.  But then there is some of that risk in any relaitionship.

Good luck in whatever relationship(s) you pursue, whetner pro or civilian.  (I apologize if you think I was too cynical.)

...... end of my comments, which seemed reasonable when I wrote them.


-- Modified on 12/15/2003 5:23:51 AM

If you freely relinquish yourself and do not form earthy attachments, love is the best.

If you hold back or hold on you will get hurt in the end.