If it's said in a greeting or name calling sense, it's about as offensive as a woman you don't know walking up to you and saying "Hi Cocksucker!". It's simply a derogatory term that, to me, is no different from any other derogatory term someone uses to try to demean another person. The intent is the key here.
If it's used during an act of intimacy, I don't find it derogatory at all...simply another 'dirty' word used to heighten the intensity of the moment. Provided a gent has been polite and respectful during our opening correspondence and public portions of our time together, I don't happen to believe that any words are off limits - and they're usually pretty hot when thrown into the mix!
I would venture to guess that the reason most women find it the ultimate slur is because *something* has to be! Why the ultimate put-down not any number of other words is beyond me, though.
It's offensive to many women as it objectifies them to a body part - as if they have no other use than as a "sperm bank night deposit box". Since women are (in general) pre-sensitized to their place in a typically male-dominated society, they can get upset more easily than men when their place is challenged.
Where I disagree is about the guys. I doubt if the same proportion of guys would be AS upset if a lady called them a cocksucker. It would be different if it were a guy making the call. However, that would be a slur on his manhood/sexual preference rather than saying he had to use other than for his cock (which would make him VERY happy).
Because it is a word traditionally used to be deliberately hurtful and insulting; in the worst kind of way.
In the context of reclaiming language in a positive way, sometimes words that have traditionally been leveled at a group of people in a very negative, deliberately offensive way, with the sole intention of causing harm, are sometimes later embraced by the people originally targeted.
Today, "Cunt" is very often embraced by many women, in this context.
In very much the same way the "n" word is widely used, in a friendly way, within African American communities. But, you damned well better know what you're doing if you're not black and you're using this label.
Or, when gay men refer to themselves as "Fags". When used by a homophobic straight guy this is considered (and in reality, typically is) deliberately intended to be offensive.
If you call a woman a "cunt" you had best know who you're addressing, and understand what you are saying.
It can be taken differently by different women, it all really depends on the situation. If you're in a heated debate over something silly with your SO or any other woman...you can think it, just don't speak it unless you were planning on ending up being wrong.
So they let words cripple them. I doubt that the guy who's house just burned down is rattled by being called homeless. He's too busy looking for a place to live. Just because a woman has a cunt doesn't make her one.
How primordial must we all still be to take offense at someone elses' overreaction? Especially if you know you aren't being whatever the word is usually defined as being what is the use in ruffling your feathers over it. I've been called a ni99er out here where I live, but it couldn't have phased me any less, just like when I have been called a bitch, a cunt, a moron, a megalomaniac (ok, maybe that one is true), a whore, a leech, a fuckhead and all that riding atop a high horse. It's just extra stress to let peoples' name-calling get to you and who in this day needs that; whatever happened to "sticks and stones"?
Spitting on your mother? That's something to get riled about.... Calling you a name in the spirit of pure schoolyard spirit? Laughable....
Kill 'em with kindness, y'all; kill 'em with kindness...
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