Let’s say a client found some information on a provider that was legitimate, warned others of the potential dangers, and outed her.

During this process of learning about these dangers another hobbyist found the client was stalking the provider to find all this out.  

Now what he has found is out in the open and her career may be over. As hobbyist we appreciate and stick together to help each be safe and appreciate what he has done for the community. Just as the ladies do on their end. Of course there is leaks on both sides.  

My question are…

Should the hobbyist tell the provider she was/is stalked as that would mean outing a fellow hobbyist and yourself being considered a rat?

However on the other hand you also want to protect the lady from something that could become a danger even though she herself presents a danger?

Sorry I cannot go into more detail

If you don’t feel comfortable posting your answer feel free to PM me

then I cannot see why you would want to contact her for any reason.

You might be more believable if you posted with your TER handle. Acting all mysterious screams troll to me.

"Warned others"... Sure - what others? Where

If for example she has HIV or works with LE I hope you would shout it out loud regardless of how the info was obtained! However, since you give us no hint as to what you are talking about it is hard to say.

I always felt if someone thinks someone else is unstable, it is unstable to get too involved. I mean, if it really is a serious danger, running around gossipping to other hobbyists is not the answer - you know why? There are TONS of guys who are not TER stalkers/escort ethics vigilantes who will never know, and don't know how to search for it. So what good did he really do in light of the serious dangers he put her in too? And possibly the guys too.

He should have gone to the cops if it was something dangerous enough to stalk and expose/endanger a woman. Even if she's a total bitch, human life is so important. Let the law handle it.

Stalking a provider - you are who you hang out with. My suggestion is you stay away from the guy who is stalking girls lest you become like him.

-- Modified on 8/29/2015 11:05:11 PM

1. Provider P did some dangerous stuff, perhaps endangering Stalker-Client S but maybe even other unnamed Clients C1 C2 C3 ... C# that may or may not even know about the danger from P yet.

2. Hobbyist H knows that S was stalking P to get the information.

3. S outed P but it isn't clear if P knows that S outed her or if she was outed anonymously or even by some unrelated coincidence.  From the question "Should the hobbyist H tell the provider P she was/is stalked as that would mean outing a fellow hobbyist S" it would seem that P does NOT know that S outed her.  So shut up.

P is guilty of something dangerous, presumably meaning that she is a danger to hobbyists: drugs, LE, STD, criminal association, under HS surveillance for funneling money to terrorists (not TER-orists), ....  

P was outed by parties unknown to her and that may, rightly I think, end her career and end the risk of exposing Clients C# to danger.  

The poster says that P may be in danger, but from whom or what?  S, C1, C2, C3 ... who might be out for revenge because they were exposed to danger?  How realistic or likely is it that S or C# is really a danger to P, will act on that revenge impulse and is it relevant?  Is there some other way to address it?

Should H expose S to P?  I don't see how that helps anyone or anything.  If S is a skilled Stalker, P has no choice but to go LE herself and seek a restraining order or put the cops on alert to who S really is.  If P is herself in danger from everyone who was endangered by her (C1, C2, C3, ...), I don't think that there is any reasonable way that she can legally restrain them all (since many are John Does anyway) and P  should probably just move far away and stay away from this biz.  

So ...

Should H tell P about S?  In my made up scenario, no.

Should H tell P she might be in danger from unnamed parties (S, C#) because of her own prior dangerous behaviors?  In my made up scenario, yes.  Yes, H can tell P she might be in danger and suggest to P that she retire gracefully, move away, get appropriate help (legal, medical, psychological, career, ...) and put all of this behind her.

 
By the way, I did very well on the SATs

Everyone in this hobby should keep each other's secrets. And we don't owe anyone anything based on just a shared hobby besides that silence. The thing is we are more than just hobbyists and sex workers, we are humans. And as a fellow human we have a duty to warn of danger. If he poses a real threat to her the right thing to do is warn her, if not stay out of it. Sometimes it is hard to judge how serious the issue is

I know a couple of ladies that had major stalking issues and it was fucked up to hear how much pain and disruption it caused. I know "stalking" is one of the career hazards of the trade and just about every provider has a story to tell. I don't like stalkers. I think they are fucked up and they are seriously fucked in the head. Sharing their "finds" with us is just a way to legitimize their fucked up behavior. I would run as far from this shit as possible because no good will come of it. I know the PC answer is to tell the provider and "out" the stalker, but I'm just not going to get involved in this mess at all.

  -- Modified on 8/30/2015 5:14:05 AM

...he was stalking her for the purpose of confirming that she was a "danger."  

Perhaps "stalker" is too harsh a term.  It's a loaded word that carries a connotation that he is following her for sinister purposes.  You don't say that he did anything other than keep an eye on her.  Did he break into her home to get info on her?  Did he hack her computer?  Did he invade her privacy in any way?  What did he do to "stalk" her?

In this case, from what you describe it appears that he was merely trying to gather information to prove she was a danger.  That would make him more of a "private detective" rather than a stalker.  Hell, Jim Rockford would have been arrested 100 times for being a stalker according to your use of the word.

Outing her is a different story.  He could have kept the info to himself and just not seen her anymore.  If you saw a drunk driver, would you turn off the road you both were on and go a safer way or would you try to warn others of the danger?

I probably wouldn't have outed her publicly, but I may have informed others who I knew were travelling on the same road as her and might have been in danger from her.  

-- Modified on 8/30/2015 2:07:41 AM

And be willing to live with the consequences.

and way too much information for me as far as I am concerned.

Don't get involved in other people' personal lives so, don't know how to answer. Further more, suppose there is something hidden in your rambling post that one should find.

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Just because there's no envelope next to the alias does NOT mean you can't PM them.  Just hover your cursor over the name and click.  In many cases (including the OP) the PM form will come up and you can send them a message.  Go stand in the corner.

then here's the plot hole:

How did he discover that the provider was being stalked by the other hobbyist

On the internet any time you google somebody's history and call them out they play the stalker card. Did he find info on her by going through internet archives or did he actually follow her around or pay somebody ( professional investigator) to dig up information on databases that are far more sophisticated than anything on the internet?

Does he have some sort of malicious intent towards this lady? In that case he is just as bad as her.

When he outed her for bad things was it really serious ( ripping off customers, has HIV etc.) or was it something minor?

You say he found out terrible things about the lady but you want to get involved to protect her? Protect her against what? Is he really a danger to her?

You did not give us enough information to go on

If she can be stalked so easily, she has not done a good job at hiding her personal life and should face the consequences. It's like the equivalent of a hobbyist not using a burner phone or using his real name/identity. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing.

Way too much useless information.

Let me put it this way, If he committed a felony to get proof that she committed a misdemeanor he was way out of line. OTOH if he committed a misdemeanor to prove she had committed a felony, we might have a completely different outlook on the situation.

Most likely both parties acted badly, and if he found something out about her by stalking her, the community should thank him for the info and then shun him for being a stalker as stalking is one of the worst and scariest things the ladies have to deal with here. If she is a danger and he is a stalker we are best rid of both of them.

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Really that sounds like someone is just waiting for a girl to slip up so he can justify his unstable actions.

Let me go find a girl who will likely piss me off and also make it easy to ruin her life - so I can stalk her.

I seriously think some psychos get off on going overboard catching girls in the wrong. I bet he was wanking off in his car while sitting outside "catching her in her crime."

Just call it what it is.
 

-- Modified on 8/30/2015 1:07:29 PM